Hate it?--Period.

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by crowdpleaser, May 2, 2007.

  1. crowdpleaser

    crowdpleaser Member

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    This is my first thread. Whoohoo!

    How many guys out there hate having sex with women on their peiod?

    I did it once and it scared me for life. I often hear that women won't have sex with men because they are in ther period. But yet rarely do I hear that men will turn down sex because a female is on her period.

    OK, so maybe I am a little flustered. Heres a background of my situation:

    Me and my ex broke up about 4 months ago after 4 years together (it is actually the reason I rejoined this site). We are both on different paths in our lives but are pretty much friends with benefits.

    Tonight she picked me up (normally I drive but lost my license from a DUI a month ago) to go get some mexican food and we each had a couple Margs. We got back to my place and she went to "freshen up". She returned from the restroom letting me know she took a shit (in not so many words) and that she IS starting her period.

    Moments later (she was getting me worked up) she says "so, do you want to have sex?" I responded "a second ago you said you were bleeding from the vagina and now you want to have sex?" To which she continued to try and talk me in to it. She then decided she was tired and went home after explaining how she feels bad about it but does not like giving me head.

    Am I an Asshole?
     
  2. AlteredEgo

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    I'm not sure I understand all of the end of your story. And I'm not sure about some of the beginning either. But I shall try to answer.

    People have preferences, and they do not make them assholes.

    If she prefers not to give you head, that's fine. Either you can live with that, or you can't and you'll move on. If you prefer not to have sex with a menstrating woman, that's fine, and your partners can either live with that, or they can't, and they'll move on.
     
  3. crowdpleaser

    crowdpleaser Member

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    What I mean to say is am I an asshole for not having sex during her period?

    Frankly, I do not feel she is required to give me head on her period even though apparently she does. Although it is fantastic!

    I am actually perfectly content at this moment having not had sex or getting head.
     
  4. snoozan

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    I've never dated anyone long term that has a problem with it, and most likely wouldn't last long in a relationship with someone who hated it as much as you seem to. In my experience as a woman, most men can be warmed up to the idea. Also, there's a huge difference between the very beginning or end of a period and the really heavey day or two. I get extremely horny right before and right after my period starts. I doublt you're the only one out there that doesn't like it, though. In fact, I'm sure of it. So that alone doesn't make you an asshole.

    Let me offer you a suggestion that you can take as you wish. If you have sex in the shower while a woman is on her period, everything washes dowen the drain very quickly, and you don't even really see the blood etc.

    As to the last part of your post, this kinda made me cringe, "a second ago you said you were bleeding from the vagina and now you want to have sex?" I guess there could have been more gracious ways to say the same thing. Whatever. That's not a big deal really. The salient points seem to be that a.) you were in a relationship for 4 years, and b.) you broke up. As AlteredEgo said, you are entitled to your preferences. Relationships are all about compatibilty and it seems like this is just another place where you and this ex are not compatible.

    Your argument/discussion/whatever seems like it probably wasn't just about the period/head thing, but more about things in your past relationship. My advice? Move on so both of you can find other people. I've never seen FWB work between two people that have just broken up. It's really just prolonging the relationship.

    Well, that's my opinion on more than you asked. Take it as you will.
     
  5. crowdpleaser

    crowdpleaser Member

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    thanks for your comments so far!

    I did not mean to sound vulgar when I said the bleeding thing. We are just really comfortable with each other (maybe too comfortable).

    On the shower thing, I am actually OK with having sex in the shower but my bathroom is small as hell, just a stand up shower.
     
  6. Lordpendragon

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    I am not sure she should have been driving.

    As for vampire sex, like the others have said, that is down to your own tastes. Situations with exes can be complicated. I think you just got a bit of a wobble.
     
  7. crowdpleaser

    crowdpleaser Member

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    we weren't shitfaced, we just had a couple. She was fine to drive. And I live on a major road that is 4 miles away from the restaurant on the same road.
     
  8. Cardinal

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    My sisters talk about this stuff all the time, and think I'm sort of not paying attention but I am..so let me offer you this. familiar or not, drunk or not, the language "bleeding out of your vagina" does seem to indicate you're uncomfortable with the idea of a woman getting period - and even more uncomfortable that she'd want to fuck while onit. and well, you are. It's definitely something that men aren't used to! Its just a fact man, and I'm pretty sure most of the women you will date are going to get periods so unless you want to miss out on some sex, try and figure it out..
    Like snoozan said, my experience has been almost all the women I've dated really like a good fuck right before and right after the end of their periods. They get super horny, and they get cramps and I've been told fucking seems to help. If we do any fisting/hand stuff I wear gloves, penetration I wear a condom. The shower is perfect, a towel on the bed or wherever you fuck is nice to have on hand but not even always necessary. It's often been some of the best sex I've had now that I think about it.
    All that aside, seems your friends with benefits arrangement has too much baggage to work out. Head or not, fucking or not, it just seems not worth it.
    oh, the poster who said you guys can do or not do whatever you want and find someone compatable - I agree with that too..
     
  9. WildHoney

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    I am not super fussed on sex when I have my period..only becuase of the mess, and maybe the fact that we do limit our finger/tongue play during that time and mostly just fuck due to mess. I guess since we have lived together for 20 years, we wait a day or so till the blood loss is very little then have sex as usual.

    However..my hubby is always up for it if I ask nicely..nothing stops him from fucking me, and while dating, we fucked all the time when I had my period.

    I must admit, I find squeemish men a bit of a turn off. I like men who lay back and say " bring it on" Men who have no qualms about wetness, smells or off limits. If I met a guy at the club ( swingers) and he told me he was anti this and anti that sexually, I'd run a mile.

    I think being relaxed and open about sex is a great gift to have. Enjoyment should never be "thought" about too much.

    Really when your fucking someone when they have their period, not alot of actual blood comes out, did you know that women most only expell 20-60 mil per cycle ( 10 ml is a teaspoon)
    Having a bath or a swim before sex while you are menstruating helps delay the blood flow.

    x
    Honey
     
  10. Love-it

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    #1 start dating women who have gone through menopause.
    #2 her statement about not liking to give head was in direct response to you not wanting to have sex with her while she is on her period. Quid pro quo.
     
  11. pantano

    pantano New Member

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    I real captain also sailes the red sea.

    If she calls me I am game :)
     
  12. B_ScaredLittleBoy

    B_ScaredLittleBoy New Member

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    I don't mind, its just a natural bodily thing. Girls are hornier (usually) on their periods. As long as its not a heavy flow, I have done it. And enjoyed it immensely. Its extra wet too. Its a bit funny pulling out clots from deep inside and having them stuck on the end of the condom though...

    But there is nothing to hate about it.
     
  13. Gillette

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    Fun times tend to get messy anyway.

    Either way, you don't have to like it but you don't need to make it sound like it's a disease.
     
  14. dirkalo

    dirkalo New Member

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    I like it (without a condom) but most girls I've been with have felt uneasy about having sex while on their period,but after a while they
    would give it a try and enjoy it. IF you're afraid of blood then use a condom..
     
  15. biguy2738

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    At the risk of repeating what everybody has already posted, here's my two cents worth. Whether one is aroused by menstruation or put off by it has to do with personal taste and ones own psychological make up, the term being the ego (e pronounced same as the e in egg)...another example would be, Why is it that if we prick a finger or get a paper cut, and it bleeds do we immediately put the injured finger etc in our mouth, but have a gaping gash with blood pouring out, and we'll pull up our nose? It has to do with our mindsets and perceptions.

    My wife and I don't make love when she menstruates, but that is by mutual choice. The important thing is the awareness that the other person has of being declined, "not because of you, but me... I'm the one with the hang up"

    Only you can answer the question as to whether you were being an asshole or not...it has nothing to do with your declining her offer, but the sensitivity with which you turned her down.
     
  16. art

    art
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    Not me. I've had sex with lots of women while they were on their period. It doesn't bother me at all -- I kinda like the smell of semen mixing with blood. (Maybe I'm some sort of sexual vampire!)

    The women I've gone out with have been hornier at the start of their period, and I'm very leadable. If somebody starts to unbutton my jeans, I rarely say "no".
     
  17. hot-rod

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    LOL are you kidding me? LOL
     
  18. B_dxjnorto

    B_dxjnorto New Member

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    5ml is a teaspoon.
     
  19. B_dxjnorto

    B_dxjnorto New Member

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    Dude you just got a DUI. Wake up and grow up.

    Live long and prosper.
     
  20. amiegrrl

    amiegrrl New Member

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    I just keep thinking that it's a good thing a woman's natural lube isn't colored ... We might never get laid!

    I love having sex on my period .. It's warmer and wetter, I'm usually climb-the-walls horny, and it makes my cramps better too :) As long as it's clean otherwise, my BF could care less. We throw down a towel and go at it!

    He won't eat my pussy when I'm menstruating though, which is a bummer .. I'd have to agree that the 'squeamish' thing is a big T.O. Maybe as you get older it won't matter as much *shrugs* It really is a matter of preference I guess.
     
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