Like a lot of American Jews, I grew up not taking the Jewish religion very seriously but being very sensitive about NOT being Christian and NOT participating in any kind of Christian religious observance. Every year at Christmas time, this becomes a live issue. ... Hitherto, the difficulty was just to get through the season without compromising my self-respect for the sake of social cohesion. ... But lately, I have become more conscious of social isolation on this holiday, as it is occasion when families gather together, while I am always left on my own.
I wonder what sorts of difficulty other Jewish members of this site go through at this time of year.
Calboner, your post could apply to any non-Christian at this time of year, both those of religious faith and those without. It can be lonely if you're not part of the group that embraces and rejoices in the holiday, and even if you are it can be an awkward or unfulfilling time if your family is less observant or of a different faith. It's a fine line to walk between just ignoring what the majority are getting all excited about (whether for ecclesiatical or commercial reasons) and pointing out "not my holiday, thanks".
I'm particularly curious about your first sentiment; i.e., being very sensitive about NOT being Christian. That can be read more than one way, and I'm not entirely sure which way you meant it: being sensitive (deliberate, conscious) not to give the impression that you are Christian and part of all this ritual, or being sensitive (touchy or just keenly aware) about others assuming that you are Christian. My own family's experience seems to be more of the latter.
Being of mixed religious tradition (Jewish and Roman Catholic), but with parents who raised us with no sect whatsoever, I always felt walled off from all religions and an outsider/observer to everything that was going on. Christmas was for "them" and Hanukkah was for "them". Trying to participate in either was rather unfulfilling.
I see analogies in other social constructs. In college, there was a big divide between Greek (fraternity & sorority) life and non-Greek (or GDI, as they called themselves). Independents could observe and peek inside Greek life, but it was nothing like actually being Greek. Our many events bypassed them altogether. Yeah, there were a few members for whom Greek life meant little and they strayed, but for most of the rest of us it was tremendously satisfying to be initiated and embraced into our group.
I've made stabs at celebrating Christmas, particularly since formally becoming a Christian. But it's weird without my family on board. My partner is staunchly non-religious and not officially claimed by any sect, since his parents didn't have him or his brother baptized (a minor point of pride for him). This time of year we go through the motions of attending parties and buying gifts for people, but it still feels strange to me.
Sometimes I wonder whether I would have a very different outlook if I came from a religious or even a single-faith family. I'm constantly curious how others perceive religion when they come from a mixed religion background, and whether Baptist-Episcopalian kids have a different take on things, coming from a mixed but Christian heritage, than Jewish-Presbyterian kids do.
What do you think Christians in New York, or any other place where the school system observes a holiday, feel about the high holy days in September? Do you suppose they're sensitive about not observing the time of reflection and atonement? Is it a matter of numbers?
