Have any of you successfully gotten rid of a fetish?

Countdickula

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Why would there be any restrictions? as long as both are consenting adult human beings...
Sometimes even if the person consents, it might be a bad idea and fall under the category of “restriction.” You may have a whatever the fuck attitude about sex but not everyone does. There may be a third person hurt by your actions. I’m personally not comfortable with knowingly hurting another person if it falls within reasonable parameters, which I would argue marriage falls within. So that’s why there are restrictions; personal ones that you can either adhere to because you’re a decent human being with respect for yourself and respect for other people, or not, and live your life like a total swamp donkey. Not for me to judge, just sayin there’s a reason for exercising restraint in certain situations.
 

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Sometimes even if the person consents, it might be a bad idea and fall under the category of “restriction.” You may have a whatever the fuck attitude about sex but not everyone does. There may be a third person hurt by your actions. I’m personally not comfortable with knowingly hurting another person if it falls within reasonable parameters, which I would argue marriage falls within. So that’s why there are restrictions; personal ones that you can either adhere to because you’re a decent human being with respect for yourself and respect for other people, or not, and live your life like a total swamp donkey. Not for me to judge, just sayin there’s a reason for exercising restraint in certain situations.
Then that falls into consent. What I mean is that you shouldn't feel bad or guilty for what turns you on. I understand your point though.
 
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"Successfully Gotten Rid Of" sounds like something you would say about an STD, not a fetish. Fetishes are what makes sex interesting and personally unique. There are things I have tired over through the years, and no longer are stimulating to me, but I have never tried to avoid them, nor would I.
 

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Im at a crossroads in my life so I thought I would look for some advice. I have a fetish that I personally find problematic. Since I can remember, Ive had intense attraction to married fathers who cheat. If a goodlooking man had a wedding ring he became a lot more attractive. I think porn is what created this fetish for me. I finally decided to act on this fetish when I was of legal age. I met up with a married dad and blew him in his truck. His body was amazing and I enjoyed myself. However on the drive back he started to talk about his kid and wife and I felt bad. I never met up again with a cheating married man for sex.

Despite the shame and guily my attraction for married dads never left. Im now in my 20s and this fetish is as sstrong as ever. I have yet to have any romantic inclinations or any desire to date. Once in a while I will meet up with someone for casual sex or I will look for an fwb. Lately though my views on sex have been changing. I think sleeping with a married man is a bit more of a gray issue than I thought. Some of these men have been sexually neglected for months/years and are out here looking for something. If its not with me it would be with someone else.

What I am struggling with is whether I should give in to this desire and fetish since it wont go sway? Or if I should try to find a way to get rid of this fetish, but is that even possible? It feels like its the way my brain is wired. Have any of you rewired your brains into not finding something attractive anymore , and if so how?

I love the thrill of it. The taboo aspect and the sneaking around. However, I am starting to think that maybe I should try to force myself to be a more dignified person. Maybe somebody who dates. I want to be that guy but I feel like who I actually am is someone who enjoys casual sex with taken men. Should I put in an effort to change or should I accept that this is who I am?
For you........

yu776.mp4
 
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Countdickula

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Hey OP, have you ever tried figuring out what is lacking in your own relationship with your father? Or are you lacking a father all together? That might be some way to better understand, and better control, the fetish. Fetishes usually develops from some deeply entrenched psychological anomaly from childhood. Maybe start there?
 

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As an adult I developed 2 of what could be called fetishes. One was shopping and the other was LPSG

As I interacted more with women, outside of the internet, I found my reliance / need to be online reduced by about 85+ %. As for shopping, entertaining in NYC is very expensive, so I guess I got over 2 fetishes at the same time :cool:
 

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Im at a crossroads in my life so I thought I would look for some advice. I have a fetish that I personally find problematic. Since I can remember, Ive had intense attraction to married fathers who cheat. If a goodlooking man had a wedding ring he became a lot more attractive. I think porn is what created this fetish for me. I finally decided to act on this fetish when I was of legal age. I met up with a married dad and blew him in his truck. His body was amazing and I enjoyed myself. However on the drive back he started to talk about his kid and wife and I felt bad. I never met up again with a cheating married man for sex.

Despite the shame and guily my attraction for married dads never left. Im now in my 20s and this fetish is as sstrong as ever. I have yet to have any romantic inclinations or any desire to date. Once in a while I will meet up with someone for casual sex or I will look for an fwb. Lately though my views on sex have been changing. I think sleeping with a married man is a bit more of a gray issue than I thought. Some of these men have been sexually neglected for months/years and are out here looking for something. If its not with me it would be with someone else.

What I am struggling with is whether I should give in to this desire and fetish since it wont go sway? Or if I should try to find a way to get rid of this fetish, but is that even possible? It feels like its the way my brain is wired. Have any of you rewired your brains into not finding something attractive anymore , and if so how?

I love the thrill of it. The taboo aspect and the sneaking around. However, I am starting to think that maybe I should try to force myself to be a more dignified person. Maybe somebody who dates. I want to be that guy but I feel like who I actually am is someone who enjoys casual sex with taken men. Should I put in an effort to change or should I accept that this is who I am?

throw-it-away-these-spirits-gotdamnzo.gif


Child what even???? Idk what all these other men on the internet are talking about, but what you want to be is a homewrecker! And a gay one at that!

Talking about, oh they've been neglected. Ain't that about a bitch! What about the other party in all of this? What about the trauma you are about to inflict on a whole family? Cause you have a fetish, hmmm.

I came here ready to hear about someone eating feces, and all I'm walking away with is a homo homewrecker. You need therapy, professional therapy as to why you think and feel your brain is 'wired' this way.

And shame on the rest of you for encouraging this deranged pathology.
 

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I think I'm about to embrace a fetish, hooking up with a cute short guy. I've always been attracted to cute, short men. I've come across a killer cute 28 year old that's 5'5. Supposed to meet him for the first time this weekend. He has a ruthless appeal.
But see that fetish is harmless lol! Why not act on it? Mine could have real consequences if the wife finds out
 
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VelvetThroat

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Child what even???? Idk what all these other men on the internet are talking about, but what you want to be is a homewrecker! And a gay one at that!

Talking about, oh they've been neglected. Ain't that about a bitch! What about the other party in all of this? What about the trauma you are about to inflict on a whole family? Cause you have a fetish, hmmm.

I came here ready to hear about someone eating feces, and all I'm walking away with is a homo homewrecker. You need therapy, professional therapy as to why you think and feel your brain is 'wired' this way.

And shame on the rest of you for encouraging this deranged pathology.
I mean I kinda agree with you.. but the taboo aspect of it for me has nothing to do with homewrecking per say, rather the fact that Im playing with someone elses toy. A toy that has created life. I DONT want the wife to find out.
I cant get over the shame about it to tell a therapist about it though.
 

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Hey OP, have you ever tried figuring out what is lacking in your own relationship with your father? Or are you lacking a father all together? That might be some way to better understand, and better control, the fetish. Fetishes usually develops from some deeply entrenched psychological anomaly from childhood. Maybe start there?
The fetish started well before I still had a good relationship with him. I think it statted for porn that I watched too early
 

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If it started BEFORE you and a good relationship with your father, the answer to how you developed it is probably in there. Even having a good relationship now doesn’t and wouldn’t make the fetish go away. Sexual attraction is something that in our neuroplastic brains gets literally woven into our personalities. The best approach is probably to acknowledge it, which you have, recognize where it comes from and then make the CONSCIOUS decision to not entertain it. Like any sort of fixation or addiction, the process is likely the same: when the urge strikes, make a conscious decision to do another distracting activity. It’s really hard at first, but it gets easier as time goes by. But it does take time because you’re retraining your brain to react to stimuli in a different way.

If you were a chimp, this obviously wouldn’t work, but the difference in humans is our ability to reason in complex and abstract ways. Otherwise we would act on virtually every instinct, thought or feeling we have.

I’m also only offering this advice because you indicated you were troubled by it. I certainly don’t come from a place of moral superiority and I don’t want you to think I’m telling you you’re a bad person or anything.
 

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I hook up a lot, love kicking back with a man between my legs being serviced, I love a man who gets his pleasure from giving me mine, with that said I guess about half or more of the guys I see are married? I don't ask, and they mostly don't tell. I don't give a rats ass if they are married, I only care if they are good at what they do! I am not married to them or anyone else for that matter, and if they are married and want to suck my cock that is between them and there wife, I don't have a dog in that fight. I can promise you if they are not sucking my cock they will be sucking someone else's
 

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Im at a crossroads in my life so I thought I would look for some advice. I have a fetish that I personally find problematic. Since I can remember, Ive had intense attraction to married fathers who cheat. If a goodlooking man had a wedding ring he became a lot more attractive. I think porn is what created this fetish for me. I finally decided to act on this fetish when I was of legal age. I met up with a married dad and blew him in his truck. His body was amazing and I enjoyed myself. However on the drive back he started to talk about his kid and wife and I felt bad. I never met up again with a cheating married man for sex.

Despite the shame and guily my attraction for married dads never left. Im now in my 20s and this fetish is as sstrong as ever. I have yet to have any romantic inclinations or any desire to date. Once in a while I will meet up with someone for casual sex or I will look for an fwb. Lately though my views on sex have been changing. I think sleeping with a married man is a bit more of a gray issue than I thought. Some of these men have been sexually neglected for months/years and are out here looking for something. If its not with me it would be with someone else.

What I am struggling with is whether I should give in to this desire and fetish since it wont go sway? Or if I should try to find a way to get rid of this fetish, but is that even possible? It feels like its the way my brain is wired. Have any of you rewired your brains into not finding something attractive anymore , and if so how?

I love the thrill of it. The taboo aspect and the sneaking around. However, I am starting to think that maybe I should try to force myself to be a more dignified person. Maybe somebody who dates. I want to be that guy but I feel like who I actually am is someone who enjoys casual sex with taken men. Should I put in an effort to change or should I accept that this is who I am?
It seems fairly obvious that if you want to modify-- or just come to terms with and maybe happily accept -- mindsets, impulses etc. that are problematic for you, you should try psychotherapy. That's what it's for. Professionals have formal training, know how to work on things like that, and can see it through with you.

If you're concerned about any stigma around psychotherapy, don't be. Frankly, minds are hard, and life is hard, and I think everyone DESERVES good therapy. It's a privilege if you can get it, it should even be a right.
 
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Child what even???? Idk what all these other men on the internet are talking about, but what you want to be is a homewrecker! And a gay one at that!

Talking about, oh they've been neglected. Ain't that about a bitch! What about the other party in all of this? What about the trauma you are about to inflict on a whole family? Cause you have a fetish, hmmm.

I came here ready to hear about someone eating feces, and all I'm walking away with is a homo homewrecker. You need therapy, professional therapy as to why you think and feel your brain is 'wired' this way.

And shame on the rest of you for encouraging this deranged pathology.

I agree, no judgment to you OP, but I do agree with Counteyboi’s assessment. These are real families and what you are doing can contribute to real harm, far beyond what you may realize.

May I share?
I am the product of a marriage that has spanned nearly 60 years. My father presented himself almost as a model husband my entire childhood. Sure he had porn and I had seen him flirt with a waitress or two, but every single night of my childhood he laid in the bed next to my mother. He sat at the head of the dinner table, not just on holidays. He showed me how to ride a bike and he bought me my first jock strap. He wasn’t a saint but he was the man I felt I fit into the mold of.

Then one random night with just he and I watching football over beers ( I was about 22 or 23) he made a casual reference to a sexual escapade he’d had with a woman when I was a small child. In fact, he was a bit drunk and he spent the night regaling me with snippets of his infidelity. My Dad had never been so candid with me and we talked about a lot.

I was so stunned that I was speechless. I was frozen. I mean literally for a few hours I sat there as the man I loved most in this world just crushed the very notion of what I thought my family was. And in the most insensitive fashion, I thought.

I won’t give you all the particulars of what has happened since then but let’s just say that learning that about my dad, even so many years after the fact, crushed me. Our relationship has still to this day, decades later, not recovered. And it likely never will.

I’m sorry for going on a rant but I just want to caution the OP. You are young and you have many choices to make. All of them won’t be great because none of us is perfect. But just try to make sure you make choices that you can live with in the long run.

I’ve made many mistakes over my life. But fortunately most of them are of the sort that I can laugh at. These situations you describe don’t seem like laughing matters. Least not from my vantage point.

Good luck to you.
 

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If it started BEFORE you and a good relationship with your father, the answer to how you developed it is probably in there.

I’m also only offering this advice because you indicated you were troubled by it. I certainly don’t come from a place of moral superiority and I don’t want you to think I’m telling you you’re a bad person or anything.
What do you mean by that? I developed it from watching porn but it.wasnt from wanting a strong paternal figure I didnt have. I had one.

As for your last paragraph...it is immoral? Every one has always told me it was.
 

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What do you mean by that? I developed it from watching porn but it.wasnt from wanting a strong paternal figure I didnt have. I had one.

As for your last paragraph...it is immoral? Every one has always told me it was.
Gotcha. Sorry, misunderstood. If it is because you watched porn, that’s an easier thing to change. What I meant in the last paragraph wasn’t a condemnation of your actions by any means. I was saying I only offered the advice because you seemed upset by your behavior, which is what lead you to create the post. As for morality? I have no idea what moral really means. I guess it’s your own conscience. I was just saying you don’t HAVE to change anything and I wasn’t wagging my finger at you or suggesting you were wrong to be into what you’re into.