Have previous Exs made you a stronger or better women?

Has an ex(non-abusive, non-misogynist,non-cheater) made you a stronger/better woman?

  • Yes one or more have made a big difference

    Votes: 3 60.0%
  • Yes but only one has

    Votes: 0 0.0%
  • I made him a better person

    Votes: 2 40.0%
  • No not at all

    Votes: 0 0.0%

  • Total voters
    5

slimanus101

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Short version:

Im asking all women preferable in the age range of 18-28, if a previous relationship(male-female) has made them a better, stronger, more confident woman. This cannot be the effect of a cheater, abusive, or a misogynist.

Long Version:

This a small life dilemma that hopefully garner enough attention here to collect a decent sample size. Ive been curious of this my entire short male life of 23 years. Ive had 3 girlfriends, 15 sexual partners, only one of which a one night stand, three of which only very short term booty call, leaving 3 serious girlfriends and 11 girls in which we would spend a night together hanging out relaxing, but the bottom line was sex, however; we still had fun watched movies, relaxed, and so on on these nights.

With these 14 girls not a single one ended on bad terms(in my mind). I am not having sex with all of these girls at the same time(span of a few years) and I currently have no girlfriend. To the main point of this topic, I feel for the majority of these girls I make them feel better about themselves. This can range from just liking their hair in curls rather then it being straightened, or a more extreme, like raising their overall self esteem or body image.

I always try to make girls more aware of their beauty, amazing personality, whatever incredible thing about them by complementing the little and big things about them and trying to downsize and make them more comfortable about some imperfections that some people would judge.

I know damn right well that some or even a majority of these girls could think I am bull shitting them, but I am very serious in every complement I make.

The reason I ask this community this is because Ive been looking for love for 7 years now(I know this is a very short time relative to my current age). I am still in love with my first girlfriend(2.5 years starting at 15). I am now currently 23 broke up with my last girlfriend 8 months ago, only said "I love you" to my first and only felt it with her.

With all these past friends with benefits and girlfriends I have never ended on bad terms and I feel like Ive been major impact on the person they are today. I know for damn sure that my first two girlfriends had huge impacts on who I am today, but I know I haven't changed much these past 3 years. I want to know that even though I brake a lot of these girls hearts I know I am making some a better person and hopefully not making any resent me.


Thanks for the read everyone hope this helps everyone.
 

rtg

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Haha no...most of my.exes have been douchebags. Yeah so they vomplimented me...but so bfs should. And i.complimented them also. Sure things had been good for a lot of the relationships...but they never made me a better person. I made myself a better person for putting up with their shit haha. I dont really think anyone can just make someone else a better person...if ypu.want to change yourself for the better youll do it for the other person n your relationship. Thats just my two cents anyway.

Oh and im 25...have prob had about 10 bfs, only 2 longer than 6 months (before i was 22), and have slept with more guys than id like to admit.
 

Jillang

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I voted "yes one or more made a big difference". I think I have learned a lot about myself from dating, some good, some bad. I think a lot of it has to do with trust and honesty and who, how much, how quickly to share with him. I've learned a little about what attracts me and why. I've also learned a lot about boys/men and how they are and think that's totally different. I never had a brother, and my close friends have always been girls and it's not like my dad acts the same as other boys or men I've met ;) I know some of what I've said is just maturing but it's also experience I think. This is really a good question, it made me think.
 

molotovmuffin

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I'm not in your age range and won't vote in your poll but every relationship, weather it be lt, fb, fwb, ons or any other non sexual relationship should reveal new things about yourself. Be they good or be they bad.

I am today what I am because of all the things that happened before...and I'm fucking fabulous!
 

LaFemme

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I'm not in your age range and won't vote in your poll but every relationship, weather it be lt, fb, fwb, ons or any other non sexual relationship should reveal new things about yourself. Be they good or be they bad.

I am today what I am because of all the things that happened before...and I'm fucking fabulous!

Ditto!
 

helgaleena

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sorry, they all revealed misogyny and/or cheating behavior eventually. That is why they are exes. I think they all taught me things, as stones tumbling against one another eventually become smoother.
 

Mercurygirl

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"Better", not sure about that? Wiser is more like it. But before you go taking credit for that too I must add that most of the wisdom gained was from negative situations not positive ones. You seem to think just because you told a girl she had pretty eyes (to get into her pants) that you somehow helped her with "raising their overall self esteem or body image." I think it's safe to say that in several cases you did the exact opposite. All you may have done in those situations was raise her level of awareness that guys are fucking liars who will say and do anything to have sex with you. Not saying that's true in all cases as there's a chance that the woman involved was using you just as much as you were using her. But odds are there were a couple, naive ones, who thought giving it up to you would actually mean something, a possibility for a deeper relationship, right up until you never called again. Lesson learned.

I can spot the red flags and bullshit "better" is what I'm trying to say.
 

RubyRed11

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Like most of your respondents, I am not within your age range, so won't skew your results by taking thr poll.

However. I can offer you this:

The men that I've dated and/or been in relationships (from FWB all the way to real) and have moved on from have taught me lessons. BUT! Had I not been willing and able to absorb what I could take away from a failed entanglement, the lessons would all have been for naught. My experience is teaching me that some of those lessons, I'm just now really starting to "get", and I didn't start "getting" them (not REALLY...) until my 30s.

My point? It takes time. One's mind AND heart have to be prepared (and experienced) enough to really be equipped for the commitment that is love. Chances of you seeing that at 23 or reflected accurately in your poll (with its limitations) are scarce. No offense intended.

Do I think they made me better? No. Do I think they helped me along in some way (usually completely unawares). Absolutely.