Have you been with a "straight" guy... my problems

[Blackmattwhite]

Hey all,

I'm sure this topic has come up before but this is a personal experience. I have been having sex (regularly) with a gay guy for some time. I am having problems as I don't identify as gay nor even bisexual.

I sometimes do find men physically attractive but it isn't that common and historically speaking I have only found women attractive and dated them.

I'm going to post this same topic in a different forum for a different question but have you guys been with straight guys that have done this?

I don't feel closeted because it's not something I'm hiding, I am just wondering if there are others.

 

[keenobserver]

I have been with guys who were self identified as straight. For the most part, they were able to perform very well. I personally question how a truly str8 person could do that. Lately I've come to believe sexuality is more fluid and flexible for some people than I previously believed.

I've known younger men who would get excited for a bag of gravel if that was all that was available, older men seem to be more set in their desires and abilities - but I'm sure exceptions abound.

 

[hvdude]

Just be honest with the person you are with. All the rest will follow

 

[travis7]

I have a str8 buddy who would like be to be naked on the bed.. And he wants to stroke me off. N finger fck me.. But the rule is that I can't touch him at all. I must keep my hands behind my head at all times... He will not take any of his cloths off....

 

[a3sthetic]

I guess the question is why you have regular sex with a man?

Personally I am not a fan of labels because sexuality is more shades of grey than black or white. When some people think of bisexuality they tend to focus on the people who are 50/50 when really it's everyone in between.

 

[archetypal_mystic]

I have a straight best friend who , like travis above says, has pleasured me to orgasm using a toy, many times, and enjoys watching me masturbate. He never takes off his clothes either...well he has not in many years.

 

[swordfishME]

Sexuality is extremely fluid concept

In my case I think of myself as bisexual yet it has been almost 5 years since I have been with a woman

I am sure most guys can relate to an time in their early puberty when they wanted to punch a hole in the wall and stick it in to get some relief

Don't worry too much about labeling yourself and just enjoy

 

[Beachboy899]

Hey all,

I'm sure this topic has come up before but this is a personal experience. I have been having sex (regularly) with a gay guy for some time. I am having problems as I don't identify as gay nor even bisexual.

I sometimes do find men physically attractive but it isn't that common and historically speaking I have only found women attractive and dated them.

I'm going to post this same topic in a different forum for a different question but have you guys been with straight guys that have done this?

I don't feel closeted because it's not something I'm hiding, I am just wondering if there are others.

Sexuality is not so simple to label as some think. I truly believe a guy can enjoy oral sex with a guy and not be gay. Anywho to address your concern I think you're just having fun and exploring your sexuality. Chances are you might be Bi but that is only for you decide. If you just enjoy having fun with guys but much prefer women that is fine. Don't worry about the labels and enjoy yourself we only live once.

 

[tncentaur]

'Back in the day' I had an affair with a very attractive man about ten years older than I and that lasted for about a year: the sex was incredibly intense and we met at least once a week for extended sex in the afternoons in an apartment building that my family owned but did not reside in. He was not a talker, and I wanted to respect his comfort zone. I could tell that the sex meant a lot to him by his downright hunger for it. Just before the year was up, I saw him at a restaurant with a woman who was obviously his wife and their three children (they all looked like admixtures of mom and dad). I hurriedly left before he saw me because I wanted to spare him embarrassment and discomfort--I myself was devastated. I was very troubled about having sex with a married man who had a committed relationship with a wife and three children. I never met him for sex again.

Previously, in the late 60s in the military and 'in country', I had several encounters with men that I knew were 'night border-crossers' who afterwards made it safely back to lives that I pretty much knew did not involve sex with men.

These two types of experiences were deeply troubling, and after that I was careful to have sex only with those who 'walked my side of the street.' I resolved to have sex only where I was not a thief, a sneak, or a predator, where I was not taking advantage of the weakness of another.
.

 

[hvdude]

Sexuality is not so simple to label as some think. I truly believe a guy can enjoy oral sex with a guy and not be gay. Anywho to address your concern I think you're just having fun and exploring your sexuality. Chances are you might be Bi but that is only for you decide. If you just enjoy having fun with guys but much prefer women that is fine. Don't worry about the labels and enjoy yourself we only live once.

Couldn't agree more. If some guys would just drop the labels others want to pin on them, they would find their sex lives so much more fulfilling. Never having had sex with a woman, I can't speak to that aspect of a "straight" or even "bi" mans sex life (to use the common labels). But if a man is attracted to another man and both are receptive to exploring each other sexually, what's wrong with that?

Many times these guys will say things like "I never knew it could feel so good" or "That felt incredible" and are surprised that being with another man can be so fulfilling. I will say, however, that once most men are with another man - even with something simple as mutual masturbation - they want to try something more, and as one or both men's inhibitions fall the session evolves to include everything including making love to each other. To me that's natural curiosity, but it only happens when the guys forget how they are going to be labeled by others and allow themselves the pleasure. It takes their relationship to a whole new level and a whole better understanding of each other and each other's needs.

 

[billybones]

I don't think I understand the question.

Perhaps this is a question better suited for the ask a straight guy forum. I'd participate in the discussion there, but every time I post in that forum I'm told I'm not allowed to because I'm gay.

If your question is whether or not I've ever slept with a guy that self-identifies as straight my answer is that I have not. I spent 20 years in the closet. I don't have the time or patience to drag someone else out of theirs.

If the question is 'does sleeping with another guy make you gay', I don't know. That's up to you. I'm cool with people pointing out that sexuality is fluid. I even agree with it to an extent. However, the definition of words are not fluid. (Presidential grand jury depositions not withstanding, I suppose.)

 

[Brian S]

I agree with not labeling yourself. Do whatever feels good to you, in a consenting situation. I had a straight guy give me head simply because he was curious as to how a dick felt in his mouth. We did this a few times and only stopped because he moved away. But he would jerk off and he'd get me off. He wouldn't swallow, but enjoyed having some sort of "bragging right" to getting me off. He would get off by his own hand but never wanted me to blow him because of whatever reasoning. He said it felt like if he was brought to orgasm by a man, then he would feel gay. It was convoluted thinking, but hey, I went with it! I jerk off weekly with a straight guy. I've blown many a straight man before. I have a friend who is straight but loves getting pegged and briefly considered letting me fuck him until he reconsidered. My point is not to brag, but I think that straight guys can often enjoy some other things with men, and their levels of comfort are all different. And their reasoning might not line up with other men's reasoning. It's too broad a topic to worry about defining every thing. As I said, do what makes you feel good, buddy.

 

[tncentaur]

Brian S wrote above 'My point is not to brag, but I think that straight guys can often enjoy some other things with men, and their levels of comfort are all different. And their reasoning might not line up with other men's reasoning. It's too broad a topic to worry about defining every thing. As I said, do what makes you feel good, buddy.'

A friend of mine who is a married man, father of four, grandfather of seven, jokes that 'just because I like pizza doesn't make me Italian.' This guy is a roaring alpha male in the straight world but is a 'sometimes' voracious bottom with men--he can't get that itch scratched at home. He's still somewhat confused about why I turned down sex with him (see my post above). His wife, with whom I grew up, has remarked several times that she's waiting for him to slow down somewhat in the bedroom, and that embarrasses me for two reasons--she doesn't know about him, and I do.
Brian, I think you're channeling Aleister Crowley: 'Do what thou wilt shall be the whole of the Law'. : )

 

[LeftCoast]

Don't let you head get in the way. If you are enjoying the sex then you shouldn't over think it. Sometimes sex is just sex,

 

[deroverhotsemplots]

'Back in the day' I had an affair with a very attractive man about ten years older than I and that lasted for about a year: the sex was incredibly intense and we met at least once a week for extended sex in the afternoons in an apartment building that my family owned but did not reside in. He was not a talker, and I wanted to respect his comfort zone. I could tell that the sex meant a lot to him by his downright hunger for it. Just before the year was up, I saw him at a restaurant with a woman who was obviously his wife and their three children (they all looked like admixtures of mom and dad). I hurriedly left before he saw me because I wanted to spare him embarrassment and discomfort--I myself was devastated. I was very troubled about having sex with a married man who had a committed relationship with a wife and three children. I never met him for sex again.

Previously, in the late 60s in the military and 'in country', I had several encounters with men that I knew were 'night border-crossers' who afterwards made it safely back to lives that I pretty much knew did not involve sex with men.

These two types of experiences were deeply troubling, and after that I was careful to have sex only with those who 'walked my side of the street.' I resolved to have sex only where I was not a thief, a sneak, or a predator, where I was not taking advantage of the weakness of another.
.

Love the way you ended this. Very well put.

 

[henry777]

Yes I've had sex with "st8" men. They wanted their cocks sucked and love to suck my cock. They didn't want to kiss or have anything to do with anal sex.

 

[bijockfl]

I have had at least four straight friends that I introduced into the pleasure of their prostate. They came back often for anal pleasure and that was it. Me rimming them and then penetrating them. No kissing

 

[Brian S]

Thanks, tncentaur! I liked the pizza anecdote! That's definitely how I feel about the situation. I sincerely love giving oral, and I don't require anything in return. I'm just happy to provide. So I do know a couple of straight guys who find it refreshing to just get head without fuss or maintenance of any sort. I don't believe that means they like guys, I believe it means they like blowjobs. Those two guys don't know each other and they couldn't be more different. One prefers to get naked and will, on occasion, jack me off as he feels it's the least he could do. He likes to spend at least a little time at my house, and puts a little effort into it. He'll come in and sit on the couch and enjoy himself. The other guy usually texts me to see if I'm available, and when he gets to my house, he drops his pants in my foyer and I kneel and suck him off quick. He says thanks and leaves. I explained those distinctions to illustrate that sometimes, some guys are just more ok with a little bit more. The trick is to find what you like, and just do it. And not worry about "what that makes you". I don't think there's any shame in finding out what gets you off, provided it's legal and consensual.

 

[concupisys]

"I don't believe that means they like guys, I believe it means they like blowjobs."

this is so true..... not that i've tried it on with all who have told, but soooooo many of the straight guys i know who have been with men or get together with men regularly have told me they do it just for the sex..... they pretty much all say that they like the 'no-nonsense' approach to sex that guys have without all the emotional attachment..... they have also said that men seem to do it way better than women, which makes perfect sense for the obvious reasons..... they have said that women play hard to get a LOT, and can be squeamish about aspects of sex that (gay) men see as something of a second nature.....

i never put any of that pressure of labels on guys like that though..... the labels and the stereotypes associated with them are already hard enough to muddle through and figure out without others impeding on their own personal journey..... it's best to be supportive, honest, informative, and disarming.... i want a man to feel good after he jizzes in my mouth.... not guilty.....

 

[DavidXL]

I guess I am the "straight" guy who has done "this," even though I never thought of myself as 100% straight. I was the married "str8" guy mostly interested in women, but also sometimes interested in men and appreciative of big cocks, the type of guy who would jerk off with guys at the gym sauna/steam, but not do more. But, then I met this guy about 6 years ago, and I feel that he yanked me from one end of the spectrum to the other. We started getting together outside the gym 5 years ago, and it continues to this day (and includes fucking (me as the top) and rimming, things I had never even fantasized about until I met him). I think sexuality can be fluid - it is in my case. And, I also think that people can go way beyond their comfort zone if they fall for a special someone who brings out something inside them that they didn't fully know was there. My problem, however, is that I (the "str8" guy) have fallen for him (the gay guy also in a relationship) more than he has fallen for me (i.e., I love him, and he loves my big dick, but I don't think he loves "me"). So, it can go all sorts of ways in these types of relationships!