Have you cheated?

[Eddiekim]

Have you cheated?

If you find that your best friend's bf who cheated on your friend?
How would you do? Now I found that my best friend's bf were cheated on my friend a lot of time. but now I'm not in the states, how can I do? let my friend know everthing about him or nothing to tell my friend

 

[midlifebear]

Some things, such as the sexual adventures of your best friend's boyfriend or girlfriend, are best not talked about. If you broach the subject, chances are that eventually neither will be your friend. If your best friend brings it up, be supportive and wait for him or her to figure it out. Basically, it's none of your business unless you're the one cheating with your friend's boyfriend/girlfriend. If that's the case, you're screwed.

 

[Cuban]

the best way is to stay taxiturn...

 

[midlifebear]

Uh . . . taciturn? :wink:

 

[Principessa]

I see your point midlifebear and in the past might have given the same advice. Yet for some reason now, I disagree. If I were being cheated on and an alleged best friend knew about it, and didn't tell me I would be royally pissed off. If a friend did tell me my guy was cheating then I would of course demand tangible proof. I don't believe in shooting the messenger, so they would still be my friend; but the guy would be history.

 

[D_Portelay Porquesword]

I have found myself in this position a couple of times. I'd say it depends on how long you have been friends, the dynamics of that friendship etc.

I would want to know and I would expect my friends to tell me. I would also hope that when approached with this kind of thing, all the evidence I needed to kick the bastard to the curb would be presented there as well.

Then again, some people will turn around and blame you instead of the asshole doing the cheating. Those are usually the kinds of people I don't refer to as "friends" so conflict is one way of finding out who your real friends are. Make sense?

Good luck!

 

[MrGoodDate]

Are you married????
Do they use safe sex????
What then is cheating????

 

[B_Jennuine73]

I see your point midlifebear and in the past might have given the same advice. Yet for some reason now, I disagree. If I were being cheated on and an alleged best friend knew about it, and didn't tell me I would be royally pissed off. If a friend did tell me my guy was cheating then I would of course demand tangible proof. I don't believe in shooting the messenger, so they would still be my friend; but the guy would be history.

yup

 

[Principessa]

Did anyone else notice that the thread title, "Have you cheated?" has nothing to do with the post? Or that no one has answered the question if they have cheated or not.

Are you married????

Is who married the OP or the friend who is being cheated on? Why does that matter either way? If 2 people are in a committed exclusive relationship and one strays that IS cheating!

Do they use safe sex????

Are you saying that if condoms are used it's not cheating? :wtf1: Cause thats complete and utter bullshit!

What then is cheating????

I think your name should be Mr. Semantics because you are full of it. :irked: You know damned well what cheating is; and judging by the way you have posed your questions you have probably cheated more than once yourself in the past.

If one is either married or in an exclusive committed relationship then the following things may count as cheating: anal sex, vaginal sex, kissing, making out, oral sex (giving & receiving), and of course the dreaded emotional affair where there is no physical contact but you share your hopes, dreams, ambitions, secret fears, etc. with a person who is not the one with whom you share your life.

 

[killerb]

this is a tough spot to be in & I speak from experience...
I've known that a friend of mine has been cheating on his gf with another man for about a year now...I have chosen to keep my mouth shut...although I think she should know, I don't think it's my place to tell her...she has even told me that if she was in a situation where she was being cheated on, she'd want to be told...however I don't want to put myself in a place where I would be the cause of the whole mess blowing up & end up catching all of the heat...besides, I think she'd only stay with him anyway so why bother?

 

[Principessa]

this is a tough spot to be in & I speak from experience...
I've known that a friend of mine has been cheating on his gf with another man for about a year now...I have chosen to keep my mouth shut...although I think she should know, I don't think it's my place to tell her...she has even told me that if she was in a situation where she was being cheated on, she'd want to be told...however I don't want to put myself in a place where I would be the cause of the whole mess blowing up & end up catching all of the heat...besides, I think she'd only stay with him anyway so why bother?

Lemme get this straight. Her boyfriend is cheating on her with a man and you haven't told her?!?! OMG! I am so glad you aren't my best friend.

 

[AlteredEgo]

Lemme get this straight. Her boyfriend is cheating on her with a man and you haven't told her?!?! OMG! I am so glad you aren't my best friend.

He's not her best friend, he's the cheater's friend.

There are friends I would tell, and others I wouldn't. It all depends on whether I think they really want to know, and whether I think it is my place to tell them.

I had a neighbor who is like a sister. I literally bumped into her man at the chicken joint. He hurried out, and was shortly followed by a waddling preggo who seemed to want to catch up with him. She didn't have any chicken, but he had a big bag. I watched them from a window through which they could not see me (because of the neon lights therein). He allowed her to catch him at the corner. He then helped her down from the sidewalk, looked around, and finally took her hand. I called my "little sis" immediately. Her phone was ringing before I even got my order in.

On the other hand, four friends of mine were unkowingly involved in a love-quadrangle. I knew about all of it from before it even started! I never said word one. If I had it to do over, I'd still keep it all to myself, I think. I'm still very close to three of them. The other I never liked so much anyway.

 

[killerb]

Lemme get this straight. Her boyfriend is cheating on her with a man and you haven't told her?!?! OMG! I am so glad you aren't my best friend.

correct...but like AlteredEgo said, I'm not her best friend...she's more of a friend of the family...

truthfully I don't even consider myself HIS best friend anymore, although he might...

I haven't told her...however I did tell him that HE needs to tell her...

either way, I'm not responsible for their situation...they're both adults...

and it's possible that she already knows but turns a blind eye so she can continue to live her fantasy...

 

[Skull Mason]

cheating is so overrated, if you make it ok from the beginning then no one gets hurt.

 

[D_Mylor Mentallydaft]

if you are friends with only one of em its an easy choice njqt, but if you are all friends then it gets complicated, you are 9 times outta 10 gonna loose 1 friend