Have you ever been raped?

Have you ever been raped?

  • Yes (I am male)

    Votes: 36 23.8%
  • Yes (I am female)

    Votes: 12 7.9%
  • No (I am male)

    Votes: 88 58.3%
  • No (I am female)

    Votes: 11 7.3%
  • I dont know (maybe as a young child, or maybe I blocked it, etc.)

    Votes: 4 2.6%

  • Total voters
    151

Osiris

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I have a question, hoping not to sound rude or offensive. How do children of such a young age, get into situations where they can be violated in such a way? I've heard it's usually a family member or trusted person that commits the act.

If you don't want to answer, I can understand why.

That is not a rude question and exactly part of why I post this thing. A lot of the reason adult females do not come forward on these things is the "You asked for it" culture society attachs to rape (See the movie The Accused and you may understand). This is why it is so much harder for victims to talk about this openly, even double so for men.

This wasn't a quick thing with my stepbrother. I loved him a lot, I looked up to him and wanted to be like him so now he has my ultimate trust and there is nothing I would not do. Unfortunately for him, I was knowledgable at an early age as my mother was a childhood rape victim and she talked to us about what is and isn't accepted touching. He and I were alone in our hotel suite (we were in New Orleans on vacation and the parents had gone out. I had just gotten in a bath and he asked if he could get in with me. I can't remember if I thought it was odd or not, but he did. When the bath was through, he wanted to dry me off and I recall telling him no. He then grabbed my arms and held me down as he proceeded to penetrate me. I blanked a lot of the actual act out, but I recall my parents comgin home and pulling me out from under the bed. I also remember not telling for years because he said "I'd get in trouble for disobeying. Fortunately, his mother and my father divorced and at ten, I told all.

In a great deal of juvenile rape situations, it is due to a trust thing and society in my youth that "adults know best and you should listen to them." As a whole, we are starting to change that with the Catholic priests scandal and the new laws on sexual predators.

I hope this answers your question.
 

Eva

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I have been, but was "lucky" enough to be so drunk at the time, I willed myself to pass out for the majority of it. Then promptly stuck what memories I did have into a mental tupperware and stacked it high on a shelf. A few years later, it came tumbling down (as that stuff tends to do) but I was already in therapy and that made all the difference.

I still have problems with trusting people, but I don't go around hatefucking anymore.
 

Osiris

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I fortunately get to vote 'no' in this poll - but I'll have a go at answering your question anyway.

WHAT THE FUCK are you shitting on about?

What do you mean how do children get into such situations? Shit - you even answer your own question man! Abuse of trust!! Plain and simple - sick, confused, unhappy (and sometimes just evil) people wheedle their way into a position of trust - sometimes they have that position of trust by default, by being a relative for example. Once in a position of trust they abuse that trust. End of story.

99 times out of 100 there is nothing the parents or the child can do to avoid it*. You can't see it coming. As a parent you are in a position where you can either be with your child 24/7 (not an option for most, and damaging for the child in the long run) or you have to trust your child to the care of others from time to time. As a child, well - they're children man - do you not remember what it was like to be a child? Grown-ups know stuff - you're taught to believe them and do as they say.

I personally try to, without being scarey or too detailed, educate to only completely trust me and daddy. And to never, never lie to us. I say 'if someone asks you not to tell me or your father something you must immediately tell us - only bad people want you to keep secrets from your parents'. And that's all I can do. You can't keep them in bubble-wrap.

* I say 99/100 because I know that in some awful cases the abuse is known about and ignored. The victim of the abuse is never complicit. Hindsight is 20/20 of course and leads to a lot of guilt problems for victims - but when a child is abused is it NEVER the fault of the child - to imply such a thing is insensitive and damaging.

Have I said how much I love my Irish champion lately? :redface:

Thanks MB. I just think frizzle is young and if you don't understand, you can come off kind of crass sounding.

Does that make sense? I know, I'm being the softie.
 

ManlyBanisters

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Have ai said how much I love my Irish champion lately? :redface:

Thanks MB. I just think frizzle is young and if you don't understand, you can come off kind of crass sounding.

Does that make sense? I know, I'm being the softie.

:kiss:

You are usually too forgiving and I am usually too harsh.

We are Ying / Yang (a philosophical 69, if you like :biggrin1: )
 

sneakyd

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The only 2 women that I have ever been involved with had been raped as teenagers . It seems more common than not , for girls to have been raped as kids , but it never seems to be recognized as such a major problem in the community ?
 

lasolasbud

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I've been raped twice. Once when I was 20 and two years ago (I'm in my 40s). The first time I was over powered by a big guy and managed to get away before anything happened. The second time, I had met two guys at a Sports Bar in Toronto. When the bar closed we went back to my hotel for a couple more beers. These bastards drugged me, tied to the bed and fucked the hell out of me. One of them had a massive cock and pounded me till I cried. I think I passed out a couple of times and don't remember a lot of detail. I woke up the next day; sore as hell and my mouth full of cum. I didn't call the police but did see my doctor when I returned to the states. Six months later I was tested for HIV and it was negative.
 

36DD

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I seriously don't know if the fact that I have been violently raped by knife-point as an adult and assaulted and raped as a young teenager makes me think this is not a question that one should ever ask of someone. I have found that when I am ready to talk about it with someone I feel I can trust enough to talk to about it, I will...otherwise don't ask...you are opening up very real and deep wounds that have never healed. Just that question made me nauseated. Mem, or any others that might feel the need to ask such a question in the future...unless you have been raped and are willing to admit it happened to you, DON'T ASK!
 

Mem

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I seriously don't know if the fact that I have been violently raped by knife-point as an adult and assaulted and raped as a young teenager makes me think this is not a question that one should ever ask of someone. I have found that when I am ready to talk about it with someone I feel I can trust enough to talk to about it, I will...otherwise don't ask...you are opening up very real and deep wounds that have never healed. Just that question made me nauseated. Mem, or any others that might feel the need to ask such a question in the future...unless you have been raped and are willing to admit it happened to you, DON'T ASK!

I am sorry that the post/poll offended you. It was an anonymous poll. I appreciate those who opened up. Maybe reading their experiences can help you. You will also read what prompted me to start the poll/thread.



I look back on it and don't think it was wrong to ask (since it is voluntary to reply) But I think the word "rape" was wrong and I should have put "sexually assaulted"

I am sorry that you feel hurt and sincerely apologize.
 

Osiris

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I seriously don't know if the fact that I have been violently raped by knife-point as an adult and assaulted and raped as a young teenager makes me think this is not a question that one should ever ask of someone. I have found that when I am ready to talk about it with someone I feel I can trust enough to talk to about it, I will...otherwise don't ask...you are opening up very real and deep wounds that have never healed. Just that question made me nauseated. Mem, or any others that might feel the need to ask such a question in the future...unless you have been raped and are willing to admit it happened to you, DON'T ASK!

36DD is a good example of why this is not such an easy question to handle for a lot of people. I'm OK, but only after NUMEROUS years of therapy. Now had you asked me this say 20 years ago? You would be picking yourself (and a good amount of dentistry) up off the floor. rape is a very difficult thing for the victim because no matter what anyone says, society still tends to put an amount of blame on the victim for this crime. I got asked what i did to "entice" my stepbrother to sodomize me. Yeah, you got me! I did a dance of seven veils for him and he went for it.

Point is that if nothing else comes from all the emotional responses shared by we victims of rape, at least you go forth knowing how you can help those who may have been or may, God forbid, be touched by this crime.
 

DreamofJeannie

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It is so very sad that so many people have been abused/attacked. I am so sorry for all those who have suffered.

I would not have written about my own abuse, if it had not been for the years of therapy I have undergone.
 

joybunny

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ok, 20 males to 10 females on this poll have been raped, that cant be right, can it?

I've heard that there are a great number of unreported sexual assaults on men so the numbers are not that far fetched. The whole thing is just sad.

I was attacked twice but luckily got away before I was raped. The first was two guys in college and an older family member that I had to fight off. The incident with the family member was the worst because first, he tried to cover it up, second, his wife resented me, and third, I got a lot of crap because I told. Made me feel like it was my fault and ashamed of my own body. Luckily I found supportive friends and family and I moved on.
 

suprdave

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i was raped numerous times by a family member, he actually had me convinced it was my fault because i was very large for my age,said i walked around hard all the time. the school showers didnt help much because the guys used to tease me and ask why i had a hardon all the time so i was petrified it was going to happen in school too,it did.
i couldnt go to therapy because the family would find out what happened, so i had to live with it. it happened a few times after that with different people thru the years but the worst was my best friend that i confessed all this to trying to get help, said he understood and seemed concerned but the first chance he got he knocked me out with either and raped me. i came real close to suicide that time, just couldnt live with it.
i was a very attractive teen and had tons of people tell me that so i figured thats was the problem. i let my body go, gained weight and some other things so i wasnt attractive anymore, i was willing to do anything to make it stop.
its been years now but its still all there in my mind, i dont date,dont go out, just sort of a recluse, never had actual sex, tried, just brought back bad memories so i quit.
i destroyed all my old pictures, everything that reminds me of that time in life, gone.
i figure this late in life just leave it alone, dont stir the memories.
sorry for the long post but it helps to talk sometimes, it also really hurts.
 

SassySpy

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since rape is seldom about sex, but more often about power, control, domination.. it isn't that unusual about the gender ratio differences. You're right, men are far less likely to report it- much the same as women were afraid to many years ago. Here on this forum, is often a GOOD place for people, especially men, to be able to somewhat anonymously admit it happened, and begin to heal.

There is hardly a greater need for support than to those victims of such a despicable act of violence toward another person.
 

D_Pubert Stabbingpain

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ok, 20 males to 10 females on this poll have been raped, that cant be right, can it?

SassySpy is correct. This is a safe place to report what men typically don't. However, you have to look at the *total* stats (as of this writing):

24/10 men/women raped
41/7 men/women not raped

If you look at it this way, 37% of men who chose to answer this poll (a little over 1/3) were raped however, more than half, 58.8% of women who chose to answer this poll were raped.

More men than women were *not* raped.

What tripped you up was that there were more men than women responding because there are more men than women on lpsg and you did not take into consideration the "not raped" stat.

Make sense?
 
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D_Aston Asstonne

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Nope,never had that terrible experience but....during my last incarceration i witnessed countless young guys being victimized by the older cons....its a terible thing,completely destroys the person if they allow it to do so.Anyone who has lived through this ordeal...get it out and realize it isnt your fault,rape is about power and violence..if i had my way the rapists would have the same thing inflicted upon them that they did to their victims...HELL YEAH! i believe rapists should be raped!