Have you ever been stood up twice by the same person?

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by titan1968, Aug 21, 2011.

  1. titan1968

    titan1968 Active Member

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    I met this fun and charming guy a little while back. Everything seemed to go well. He told me straight away he 'liked' me and would like to see me again. We met again the following day and had a good time together. Then there was a brief pause. I called him a few weeks later, and he was very happy to hear from me because he thought I had forgotten him. We made arrangements to meet when he was in town (he doesn't live here, but is here every second weekend to visit his parents). He knew I was working part of that weekend, but said he would see me whenever I was available. He called to say he would also drop by to see me on Sunday after I finished work (around 4:00pm). 4:00pm came and went, but there was no sign of him. At 6:00pm, I called and asked him where he was (he didn't answer, so I left a message on his mobile). I thought he was either sick or stressed about an upcoming job interview. He called three days later to apologise and say that he had wanted to see me, but was just too tired; he did say we'd see each other again soon (his interview was on Friday). I called on Friday to wish him good luck and to call me to tell me how it went and to meet. He called me the next day (at noon) to say that he'd love to see me on Saturday (today) after lunch. He never showed up nor did he bother to call. I called him at 4:00pm to ask where he was and then again at 7:00pm, but I wasn't so friendly. I told him off: I told him he had no class and no right to treat me the way he did and that I wasn't into his bloody mind games; I also told him that he had until 8:00pm to show up or he could forget about me. :mad::mad::mad::mad:

    What do you think? I personally think the fuckwit had other plans (i.e. has found someone else), but didn't have the courage to tell me so. Help me, I'm really upset. I feel I've been down this path before....:confused:
     
  2. SyddyKitty

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    I'd cut him off and forget about him but I'm not a very forgiving person. Try not to dwell on what he might be doing - you will only drift further into negativity. Ignore it and do your best to put it behind you.
     
  3. The Dragon

    The Dragon New Member

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    Fool me once shame on you.
    Fool me twice shame on me.
     
  4. titan1968

    titan1968 Active Member

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    Thanks Syddykitty.

    I hear you Dragon. That's why I'm pissed off.
     
  5. The Dragon

    The Dragon New Member

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    Now you know, without a shadow of a doubt, that he's a flaky douche bag and he's got a pretty cavalier attitude about you and your time.

    I'd be kicking him to the curb because if he's treating you this way in the beginning when people normally bust a gut to make a good impression, just imagine just how big a douche bag he's going to be once a little complacency kicks in.

    Fuck that shit running.
     
  6. atlclgurl

    atlclgurl Member

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    Why would you even give him an "until" time to show up? If you're are running late, that's one thing, but if you're SEVEN fucking hours late... fuck you and the phone had better never ring again with your lame ass on the other side!

    Frankly, being stood up ONCE by this guy would have been enough for me to have never given him another chance.

    If you don't respect yourself enough to demand that others treat you well, you will continue to have idiots like this one stand you up and make stupid excuses for their god awful behavior.
     
  7. Candidate

    Candidate New Member

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    Isn't that the norm for gays? I haven't even met this guy from Grindr he already blew me off twice, for some reason that makes me want to meet him more LOL, but most likely he's just a flaky asshole anyway.
     
  8. BikerBear

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    There wouldn't be a second time.... :mad:
     
  9. molotovmuffin

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    If you continue with this guy...you deserve what you get. That goes for the OP as well.

    Why would anyone want to be treated poorly...is beyond me.:mad:
     
  10. D_Martin van Burden

    D_Martin van Burden Account Disabled

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    I only give myself the opportunity to be stood up once. If you have a bad feeling about someone, then it's time to holler at someone else who won't stand you up.
     
  11. aqua-illusion

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    I had a similar situation when I was younger...

    Met a guy on ICQ (yes that's how long ago it was, hahaha) I was 16 he was 21...he always said he was into me and that we should meet up, he lived really close by so he told me he would pick me up from so and so place...went to the meet point, waited 2 hrs, and I went home.

    Talked to him a few days later and he said "oh I didn't know we were actually going to do it, but I want to meet up, please give me another chance, I really like you"...tried it again, set up a meet place to pick me up...waited and nothing...so I went home.

    Talked to him again (well I was 16, and experimenting was new to me...had never done it) and he said he was sorry, something came up (I had no cell phone) and he really wanted to see me...he then told me he "loved me"...I was shocked, I knew him only online and he told me he loved me? I asked him "why would you say that" and he said "I don't know, it just came out" and that he was sorry and didn't want to lose me...too late, third time I blocked him on ICQ and never talked to him again... oh the trials of a teenager who's discovering himself :p
     
  12. DV8

    DV8
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    Agreed. Sounds to me as if he viewed you as a piece of ass and/or dick. It also sounds to me as if you're hurt because you reeeeeeally liked this guy. And I'm sorry that you were hurt. When it comes to such situation, you can't invest too much in them, not at the jump off. I knew that it was going sour the moment you stated that he called and apologized, telling you that he was too tired. Bogus excuse! No one is too tired to spend time with someone they "like" or have intentions of getting a little something from someone they want. Because if they're that tired, they'll end up sleeping next to you by the end of the night... so I call bullshit on him to that sorry excuse.

    The moment he stood you up the first time and called you 3 days later to apologize should have been your hint that you were dealing with a boy, not a man. If a relationship is what you're seeking, then pursue that with someone else- lesson learned. If it's just sex, then you gotta learn to play the game, Boo Boo.

    Personally- my rules when it comes to casual sex. You make contact, you get together, you do your thing, breathe for about 30 seconds, and then start looking for your pants. If they ask you to stay the night and cuddle, then cool. If you want to do that, go for it. If not, give him a kiss(if he's into that) and head for the door. Now in your situation, that person is obviously not seeking a relationship. Otherwise, they would have been more fascinated to get to know you with your clothes on than off (even if they're nudists, hypothetically speaking). If a guy really likes you, then he'll wait until at least the second date to get in your pants and he'll stay in touch more often. (All of this is assuming that there was sex involved in your situation).

    Hope this helps again, I'm sorry.

    Dante
     
    #12 DV8, Aug 21, 2011
    Last edited: Aug 21, 2011
  13. helgaleena

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    Never three times. Once might be a mistake, but twice?
     
  14. Wrat

    Wrat New Member

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    Well, now that you know that he is not interested in you...you know what to do. Right?
     
  15. MarkLondon

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    Yeah, I had to learn this the hard way. If they'll stand you up once, they'll do it again!

    Sorry, but if they'll disrespect/inconvenience you early on then that's all that's going to happen forever more. It's not worth it.
     
  16. titan1968

    titan1968 Active Member

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    Thanks to all of you for your help. I should have known better. I really have to think of what I want and demand respect from others, but must also learn to respect myself. How can I deamnd respect from others if I can't respect myself?
     
  17. psguy64

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    Two yrs ago I expressed interest with a local biz owner which I let 'drop'. Last month I made contact with him via internet only on two different websites expressing my
    interest and seeking his interest. He did not stand me up nor I him. I sent brief a couple brief very social messages during that week and waited over a week for his response. When he did respond, he sent 3-different messages expressing how busy he had been and that he would like to meet. I sent a message back thanking him for his replies all the time thinking he was just not into me and I would not be a priority in his life. 'Not being into me' is something I feel is important in any kind of relationship. After over a weeks wait for his response, I had similar feelings as if I had been stood up.
     
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