Have you ever dated an alcoholic?

Principessa · Aug 7, 2009

Perfect Mother, a Vodka Bottle and 8 Lives Lost
By SUSAN DOMINUS

Which is the hardest version of events to accept? That Diane Schuler, described by her husband as a perfect mother and reliable person, was the victim of a fluke circumstance some sort of sudden-onset psychosis or stroke that caused the deaths of eight people on the Taconic State Parkway? That Diane Schuler, who had a vodka bottle in her minivan, along with five children that desperate morning, was a raging alcoholic and her husband didnt know? That Diane Schuler, a mother of two and a Cablevision executive, was a raging alcoholic and people knew, but didnt intervene? No possible explanation suffices for the horrific July 26 crash, in which Ms. Schuler, returning from a camping trip, drove 1.7 miles in the wrong direction on a curvy highway before slamming into an S.U.V., killing its three passengers, as well as herself, her 2-year-old daughter and her three young nieces. She had a blood-alcohol level of more than twice the legal limit. Each possible version of events that has surfaced in the two weeks since strains credulity, and denies the public the comfort of a familiar cautionary tale. That is part of what has made obsessives of so many people following the story: its refusal to reveal, at a minimum, some lesson that would let us walk away feeling safer for having learned it.
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Some might find solace in the statistical improbability of the psychotic break the odds of that happening to the family friend driving your child home from the movies are a lot slimmer than that shes been drinking. Those favoring this theory might argue that Ms. Schuler could not possibly have hidden drinking of the sort that was exhibited on the day of the accident. If indeed Diane Schuler drank, and drank vodka which experts consider a common choice of later-stage alcoholics because they think its easier to hide how is it possible that her husband, a public safety officer for the Nassau County Police Department, would not have a clue?
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Consider the story of Doug Thorburn, a Los Angeles financial planner who dated a woman two years without realizing that she was an alcoholic, that she was spiking her morning coffee. She sipped white wine with me, said Mr. Thorburn, who went on to write several books about addiction. I didnt know she was gulping vodka before that. Consider this comment from the City Room blog on nytimes.com, signed ralphinjersey: Ive been with my current wife for nine years and sober just a little over six and she still swears she never saw me drunk. Consider, for that matter, the story of a 41-year-old man in Paris who was a security director for a major hotel; whose best friends swore he was not an alcoholic; who flew private planes recreationally for years; and who, the night of his death, rejected a post-tennis beer because he had to drive, only to crash into a curb in a tunnel, with a blood-alcohol level three times the legal limit in France. That was Henri Paul, the man who was driving Princess Diana on Aug. 31, 1997.
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Have you ever dated an alcoholic or drug addict, yet didn't know for months or maybe even years?

I did, when I was 19. :redface: None of my friends or family knew he was an alcoholic. Once I figured out that his erratic behavior was due to drinking too much, I naively thought I could change him. :lmao: I believed that my love would make him put down the bottle. :rofl: When I finally saw the light and broke up with him. Everyone lambasted me. They thought he was 'a catch' and that I was insane to break up with him. When I told them he was an alcoholic they couldn't believe it. He was so intelligent, charming, respectful, funny, often the life of the party and never violent or belligerent. Just because a drunk isn't violent doesn't mean they are any easier to live/deal with.

The people who look at you increduously and ask, "how could you not know he was an alcoholic?!" As if you are a blind idiot have clearly never been involved with one. :no: Alcoholics are not morons, many are college educated and tops in their field. They know how to appear sober. In fact appearing sober almost becomes another job for them. :irked:

Back in the day, we used to call them functioning alcoholics, those people who drank a lot, yet managed to hold a job and function normally. Somehow, if you could get up and go to work everyday and not screw up it was 'okay.' Well guess what? It's not okay, not anymore.

Steinweg9 · Aug 7, 2009

Barack H. Obama is President of the United States. He is not repealing the 2nd Amendment and he was born in the USA, NOT Kenya. Now sit down, shut up, and deal with it. :usa2:

Why? You didn't sit down, shut up, and deal with the other guy. Why should we sit down, shut up, and deal with your guy? Especially when he's managed, in far less time, to make a much bigger mess, as if to prove it was possible?
When you're screaming because your parents are sent to the black of the line for treatment because they are over 65, then didn't receive treatment because rations were met, I'll just say:
sit down, shut up and deal with it.
Will you do it?

Principessa · Aug 8, 2009

Sounds like maybe you need to put down the vodka bottle and find an AA meeting. FWIW: Drunk posting is never a good idea.

:irked: This is way fftopic:

Steinweg9 said: ↑

Barack H. Obama is President of the United States. He is not repealing the 2nd Amendment and he was born in the USA, NOT Kenya. Now sit down, shut up, and deal with it. :usa2:

Why? You didn't sit down, shut up, and deal with the other guy. Why should we sit down, shut up, and deal with your guy? Especially when he's managed, in far less time, to make a much bigger mess, as if to prove it was possible?
When you're screaming because your parents are sent to the black of the line for treatment because they are over 65, then didn't receive treatment because rations were met, I'll just say:
sit down, shut up and deal with it.

Will you do it?
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Have you ever dated an alcoholic?

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