Have you ever had an actual queue of women waiting to do you?

[D_Gunther Snotpole]

You're right on the money.

I have a set of old tapes in my head that would scorch your ear drums.
But they don't always play.
Or put it this way ... I don't allus lissen.

 

[basincreek]

I wonder if your beliefs about yourself reinforce the likelihood of this happening.
Maybe you don't get out and play ... at all.
And then, there you are.
It's pretty easy to make the world fit your pictures.
(But it's none of my business, basincreek ... I know that.)

Well, I did go seven years without asking out a single woman. Then I did and she thought it was hilarious and video taped it. So I waited another year and a half before just recently asking out another gal again.

I don't know if that answers your question or not.

I did get a few blind dates in there but they ended horribly.

You're right on the money.

What do you mean by this?

 

[Pendlum]

And thanks for not thinking I'm ugly.

He didn't say that, he said "you're pretty cute." Not only is there a mountain of difference between "not being ugly" and being "pretty cute", but there is the fact that one uses a negative, and the other is a positive. You need to think in the positive. The more you think in the positive, the easier it should be for you to notice and believe in your positive traits. Also, you should stop using excuses for everything. Honestly, it is hard to believe a lot of what you say about what your experiences with women are, at least I find it difficult to believe. But anyway, you almost always have a negative response or excuse to defuse the advice people are trying to give. That is only going to frustrate them to the point that they give up, of course confirming your negative beliefs in your mind.

 

[petite]

Well, I did go seven years without asking out a single woman. Then I did and she thought it was hilarious and video taped it. So I waited another year and a half before just recently asking out another gal again.

I don't know if that answers your question or not.

I did get a few blind dates in there but they ended horribly.

What do you mean by this?

I meant that I think that you are trapped in a jail created by your own self doubt and that you refuse to realize that the door has been open this entire time and you can simply walk out.

Dating is just a numbers game. You have to reject and be rejected a lot before you find the right one, but you seem to take every single negative thing as an excuse for why you should cease trying instead of just moving on with your life. You're keeping yourself trapped.

I've probably dated ~50 men in my lifetime. That's dated, as in "had at least one date with," not had sex with. (The last time I mentioned this number, some people confused those two things.) Plenty of those guys weren't into me, seemed bored on dates, treated me rudely, etc. And every single time I thought, "Thank god that's over," and I went out with someone else until I found someone compatible with me. I had a lot of fun along the way, I met a lot of jerks, and I met a lot of great guys who weren't my type. That's all part of it. You just have to not take everything so personally.

He didn't say that, he said "you're pretty cute." Not only is there a mountain of difference between "not being ugly" and being "pretty cute", but there is the fact that one uses a negative, and the other is a positive. You need to think in the positive. The more you think in the positive, the easier it should be for you to notice and believe in your positive traits. Also, you should stop using excuses for everything. Honestly, it is hard to believe a lot of what you say about what your experiences with women are, at least I find it difficult to believe. But anyway, you almost always have a negative response or excuse to defuse the advice people are trying to give. That is only going to frustrate them to the point that they give up, of course confirming your negative beliefs in your mind.

This is true.

 

[maxcok]

He didn't say that, he said "you're pretty cute." Not only is there a mountain of difference between "not being ugly" and being "pretty cute", but there is the fact that one uses a negative, and the other is a positive. You need to think in the positive. The more you think in the positive, the easier it should be for you to notice and believe in your positive traits. Also, you should stop using excuses for everything. Honestly, it is hard to believe a lot of what you say about what your experiences with women are, at least I find it difficult to believe. But anyway, you almost always have a negative response or excuse to defuse the advice people are trying to give. That is only going to frustrate them to the point that they give up, of course confirming your negative beliefs in your mind.

Thanks for stating the obvious for me, Pend. I wasn't really in the mood for dispensing tough love. I was thinking about responding to the OP, but frankly, I'm already frustrated with him. He seems to want to wallow in self-pity and the attention he gets from acting sad and pitiful. If that's what he wants, I don't think anything else I could say would be any help.

Witness:

Well, I did go seven years without asking out a single woman. Then I did and she thought it was hilarious and video taped it. So I waited another year and a half before just recently asking out another gal again.

Not to mention the story at the start of this thread. Who would sit there for hours listening to his friend bang a string of chicks while trying to make small talk with the ones waiting in the kitchen? A virgin, no less. Even if it's made up, it still says the same thing about the OP. It's all about self-pity and low self-esteem, imho.

Seriously friend, have you considered some professional counselling to help you sort these things out? You could you start by changing your signature line to something less masochistic and calculatedly self-effacing.

Wait, you had a queue of men lined up for you? Good gracious, that's hot.

I think I'm going to plead the fifth on this. At least for now. At least in open court.

 

[B_subgirrl]

I meant that I think that you are trapped in a jail created by your own self doubt and that you refuse to realize that the door has been open this entire time and you can simply walk out.

This is amongst the best and most truthful comments I've ever seen on here. I think I might take your advice Petite!

I've probably dated ~50 men in my lifetime. That's dated, as in "had at least one date with," not had sex with. (The last time I mentioned this number, some people confused those two things.)

I find the whole concept of dating quite difficult to wrap my head around. 50 seems huge to me! (Remember that I don't think I've even had one date - although maybe if I thought REALLY carefully I could come up with a couple). Do you mean you've sat around and had dinners etc with 50 guys who you weren't even fucking yet? Actually that question was rhetorical, I know that's what you meant. It just seems really foreign to me.

I guess I probably have had dates, I just didn't call them that.

Seriously friend, have you considered some professional counselling to help you sort these things out?

He is getting some, and believe it or not, I think he's come a fair way since he first started posting here.

Although don't relax yet BC! You have a LONG way to go yet!

 

[sxjTheFirst]

I've a friend in NYC who does small roles in TV series shot around the area and a documentary or two not exactly a successful (yet) actor. And he does get the occasional offer from fame-junkies for sex. I assume if he became really famous he might have those queues. Another friend of mine here in Chennai was a DJ then he moved to my - the corporate - world and he seemed to have no problems getting sex in his old avatar. He hadn't mentioned queues but women throw themselves - on one occasion literally - at him

 

[sxjTheFirst]

Well, I don't want a "queue" of women. I really just want one that I can have a committed relationship with.

Thats the problem. Be a little less nicer

As for why I'm a virgin still? That's relatively easy: I have yet to encounter a woman that wants to have sex with me. It's really not that hard to stay a virgin when that's the case.

I haven't had that luck either so I have had sex with around 50 men over the years or so instead.

And thanks for not thinking I'm ugly.

Well we aren't blind you see.

 

[petite]

I think I'm going to plead the fifth on this. At least for now. At least in open court.

It's a story I hope I hear someday. :biggrin1:

This is amongst the best and most truthful comments I've ever seen on here. I think I might take your advice Petite!

Oh, thank you! I need to take it myself. :redface:

I find the whole concept of dating quite difficult to wrap my head around. 50 seems huge to me! (Remember that I don't think I've even had one date - although maybe if I thought REALLY carefully I could come up with a couple). Do you mean you've sat around and had dinners etc with 50 guys who you weren't even fucking yet? Actually that question was rhetorical, I know that's what you meant. It just seems really foreign to me.

I guess I probably have had dates, I just didn't call them that.

Not all were dinner dates, but yeah. And I did sleep with a lot of them, just not all 50.

When I write it down, it seems like a huge number to me, too.

(And just a little embarrassing. That's been happening a lot lately. I don't realize how much of something there is until I write it down here, and then I realize I'm a freak! Number of dildos and sex toys? Too many. Hours spent masturbating? Too many. Number of orgasms? Too many. Men dated? TOO MANY!)

 

[D_Crystallized Ginger]

I never had a queue waiting for my at my door .. but I'm not so attractive I think and have an ugly penis that's only a bit above average... girls want always the best you know..

 

[620232]

If you don't mind, the only horseshit I want to experience is the kind my mother uses for her garden.

jimmy maglite 8 1/2 inches in losangeles looking for nsa fuck

 

[basincreek]

He didn't say that, he said "you're pretty cute." Not only is there a mountain of difference between "not being ugly" and being "pretty cute", but there is the fact that one uses a negative, and the other is a positive. You need to think in the positive. The more you think in the positive, the easier it should be for you to notice and believe in your positive traits. Also, you should stop using excuses for everything. Honestly, it is hard to believe a lot of what you say about what your experiences with women are, at least I find it difficult to believe. But anyway, you almost always have a negative response or excuse to defuse the advice people are trying to give. That is only going to frustrate them to the point that they give up, of course confirming your negative beliefs in your mind.

Well, to be fair if someone thinks you're cute they usually also don't think you're ugly. :redface:

And it's funny that it's a gay guy that first says that to me here what with my little adventure of accidentally dating a gay guy in college and all.

I meant that I think that you are trapped in a jail created by your own self doubt and that you refuse to realize that the door has been open this entire time and you can simply walk out.

You know what's weird? My therapist said almost the same thing two sessions back. She even used the jail analogy.................wait a minute. What if you are her? Shouldn't I be getting a discount if you're also giving me therapy here? :biggrin1:

Dating is just a numbers game. You have to reject and be rejected a lot before you find the right one, but you seem to take every single negative thing as an excuse for why you should cease trying instead of just moving on with your life. You're keeping yourself trapped.

I just got rejected the other day and I'm not really that phased by it. I think that's a good sign.

I've probably dated ~50 men in my lifetime. That's dated, as in "had at least one date with," not had sex with. (The last time I mentioned this number, some people confused those two things.) Plenty of those guys weren't into me, seemed bored on dates, treated me rudely, etc. And every single time I thought, "Thank god that's over," and I went out with someone else until I found someone compatible with me. I had a lot of fun along the way, I met a lot of jerks, and I met a lot of great guys who weren't my type. That's all part of it. You just have to not take everything so personally.

Well, let's not kid ourselves. A rejection is always personal. They are rejecting you after all......unless the person was a bigot that hates everyone of your ethnicity or something. It's just learning to not let the fact that someone out there sees nothing desirable in you get to me that I've had trouble with and I'm working on it.

Who would sit there for hours listening to his friend bang a string of chicks while trying to make small talk with the ones waiting in the kitchen? A virgin, no less. Even if it's made up, it still says the same thing about the OP. It's all about self-pity and low self-esteem, imho.

Well, what was I supposed to do? Listening to another guy screw multiple chicks was not new to me. That was just the first time it was with more than two women and the only time I ever saw them hanging out while allegedly waiting their turn.

He is getting some, and believe it or not, I think he's come a fair way since he first started posting here.

Although don't relax yet BC! You have a LONG way to go yet!

Thanks for that. I really do feel a hell of a lot better than when we began seemingly so long ago.

Well we aren't blind you see.

Thanks for that.

Man if the social conservatives were right and you could choose to be gay or Bi my life might actually be easier.

 

[maxcok]

Well, what was I supposed to do? Listening to another guy screw multiple chicks was not new to me. That was just the first time it was with more than two women and the only time I ever saw them hanging out while allegedly waiting their turn.

What were you supposed to do if you were uncomfortable? Oh, I don't know . . . LEAVE??

Oh, I forgot. You were "forced" to be there.

Have any other virgins ever been forced to be a witness to the whole thing? :biggrin1:

Forced?

Well, to be fair if someone thinks you're cute they usually also don't think you're ugly. :redface:

To be honest, you've completely deflected the whole point of Pendlum's thoughtful post.

Just as he predicted:

But anyway, you almost always have a negative response or excuse to defuse the advice people are trying to give. That is only going to frustrate them to the point that they give up, of course confirming your negative beliefs in your mind.

And it's funny that it's a gay guy that first says that to me here what with my little adventure of accidentally dating a gay guy in college and all.

A) Why is it funny to you that a gay guy would pay you a compliment?

B) Would it be different coming from a straight guy? A bi guy?

C) How do you "accidentally date" a gay guy?

D) Have you ever "accidentally dated" a straight guy? A bi guy?

E) Have you considered the possibility you might be gay?

F) Would you be okay with that?

G) Why do you assume I'm gay?

Just questions to be considered.

Man if the social conservatives were right and you could choose to be gay or Bi my life might actually be easier.

Not implying you are or you aren't, it's just interesting you said that.

 

[Snakebyte]

Well, let's not kid ourselves. A rejection is always personal. They are rejecting you after all......unless the person was a bigot that hates everyone of your ethnicity or something. It's just learning to not let the fact that someone out there sees nothing desirable in you get to me that I've had trouble with and I'm working on it.

There a thousands of reasons why it's not personal
a) she's in a relationship
b) she just had a bad break up
c) she's not into men
d) she's not the dating kind of gal
e) she's not looking for a man at the moment
f) she doesn't date strangers
...

You see, rejection most of the time is not personal. Most of the time they don't really know you, so how can it be personal?

(And just a little embarrassing. That's been happening a lot lately. I don't realize how much of something there is until I write it down here, and then I realize I'm a freak! Number of dildos and sex toys? Too many. Hours spent masturbating? Too many. Number of orgasms? Too many. Men dated? TOO MANY!)

Sweetheart. How can someone have "too many" orgasms? That's the same as saying "I've saved too many lives." :smile:

 

[CuriousFem]

I meant that I think that you are trapped in a jail created by your own self doubt and that you refuse to realize that the door has been open this entire time and you can simply walk out.

This is beautifully expressed advice.

Basincreek:

Continuing the analogy of walking out the door... Why did you bother getting a new haircut? Because it looks better, and you want that positive reaction from other people that we all want.

Why do we try to pick out nice clothes to wear when we go out, or to stay in shape in general? Same reason -- we want a positive reaction.

So why not put on a confident attitude when you go out the door? It doesn't matter if you don't feel confident or not. No single attitude, like no single hairstyle is "the real you". You can choose what you show to the world, so the next time you go out on a Friday night, don a relaxed confidence to go with your new haircut and some nice clothes. (In other words, fake it. It's like wearing a costume.)

Just a thought. This is advice I heard somewhere back in the day that I've seen work (first hand).

HB

 

[B_625girth]

never had them waiting in another room. i had gals tell me they waited until I was not dating some one so they could approach me and hopefully lead to sex. I did date and fuck a gal who told her divorced mom I was hung. pretty soon I got a one on one talk from the mom. I thought I was gonna get chewed out for fucking her daughter. hell no, she told me her daughter said I was big. she would like to try me sometime. 2 weeks later, I was doing the daughter in her room, walk down the hallway, and fuck mom. she was good looking, not much older than me. I was her first big cock, she just loved it. and she gave great head. after the daughter and I broke up, the mom called me up, needing my services. so I did her a few more times.

 

[B_subgirrl]

Oh, thank you! I need to take it myself. :redface:

I've copied it into a word document so I can look at it and remind myself of it every now and then :redface:

Not all were dinner dates, but yeah. And I did sleep with a lot of them, just not all 50.

When I write it down, it seems like a huge number to me, too.

It's probably not so many to those who are used to the concept of dating. Dating just isn't how I've ever worked, so it just seems strange to me :redface:

(And just a little embarrassing. That's been happening a lot lately. I don't realize how much of something there is until I write it down here, and then I realize I'm a freak! Number of dildos and sex toys? Too many. Hours spent masturbating? Too many. Number of orgasms? Too many. Men dated? TOO MANY!)

I'm not sure if these things count as 'too many'. Maybe 'more than average' would be more appropriate. :biggrin1:

I just got rejected the other day and I'm not really that phased by it. I think that's a good sign.

I think it is too. A few months ago you would have seen it as proof that all women hated you.

Well, what was I supposed to do? Listening to another guy screw multiple chicks was not new to me. That was just the first time it was with more than two women and the only time I ever saw them hanging out while allegedly waiting their turn.

I don't really see the situation as being that unusual, or you as being in a particularly unusual position. I mean, the queue of women is rather odd, but I would think a lot of people have had to listen to their friends have sex, or have been the one that was listened to.

Thanks for that. I really do feel a hell of a lot better than when we began seemingly so long ago.

You're welcome :smile:. Keep working on it, there will be more progress.

 

[mariamluvsEMbig]

never had a queue of women...but a queue of men definitely

 

[hsarge]

Hey Basin, have you seen the GEICO commercial with the drill sergeant as a therapist. Well, here goes: Quit your whining; get off you ass and get in the game. Its not nuclear physics. You are so insecure and unconfident that any women will pick up on it in a second. You need to break the ice. Hire an escort; find out what sex is. Just get up, go out and confidently ask women out until one says yes. Everyone gets rejected. You won't find your 'soulmate' on your first date; you may not on your 500th. You've got to play the game. The more you play the better you get at it. Somewhere in your childhood somebody must have crushed your self esteem. Well, F**k Them. Drop the kleenex, turn off the computer, an get into the real world.

 

[Incocknito]

Every woman in the world is queuing up to have sex with me. They just don't know it yet