Have you ever had to use your safe word?

EllieP

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A shriek accompanied by a scream usually does it. No, we're not into kinky. He just sometimes tries to go into places he shouldn't or goes too far into places he should.
 

AlteredEgo

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I've come close. Some of the things which I find most exciting are also dangerous and scary. But that's part of the appeal. With one partner, I became frightened when his eyes changed colors, and then again when his pupils dilated fully. I had never seen dark brown eyes change color before, and I had no idea that little iris could be visible, especially in a huge swath of sunlight, and a person could still be conscious. We were sober, but when his pupils basically ate his eyeballs, I was afraid he was blacked out or something. He was hurting me, but that was fine. It was his demeanor, and the change in his countenance, especially his eyes that gave me the screaming heebie-jeebies. I wasn't afraid of the (fairly tame) things we were doing. I was afraid of him. He looked... not quite human. Both moments, first when his eyes flashed a different color, and again when his pupils grew, I formed my mouth for the first syllable of my safe phrase, but didn't use it, deliberating. Both times he half whispered and half growled, "You don't get to tell me no." I didn't change the position of my lips and teeth right away, but I also didn't use the phrase. And ever since then, unbeknownst to me, that precise phrase has been a trigger. I have unreasonable affinity for that phrase. It sets me on fire. I found out fairly recently, when it happened to be uttered by someone else. Apparently, I don't get to tell some folks no.

For the record, I am 100% confident that if I had used the phrase that stays my partner would have stopped immediately.
 

B_SeattleYo

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I've come close. Some of the things which I find most exciting are also dangerous and scary. But that's part of the appeal. With one partner, I became frightened when his eyes changed colors, and then again when his pupils dilated fully. I had never seen dark brown eyes change color before, and I had no idea that little iris could be visible, especially in a huge swath of sunlight, and a person could still be conscious. We were sober, but when his pupils basically ate his eyeballs, I was afraid he was blacked out or something. He was hurting me, but that was fine. It was his demeanor, and the change in his countenance, especially his eyes that gave me the screaming heebie-jeebies. I wasn't afraid of the (fairly tame) things we were doing. I was afraid of him. He looked... not quite human. Both moments, first when his eyes flashed a different color, and again when his pupils grew, I formed my mouth for the first syllable of my safe phrase, but didn't use it, deliberating. Both times he half whispered and half growled, "You don't get to tell me no." I didn't change the position of my lips and teeth right away, but I also didn't use the phrase. And ever since then, unbeknownst to me, that precise phrase has been a trigger. I have unreasonable affinity for that phrase. It sets me on fire. I found out fairly recently, when it happened to be uttered by someone else. Apparently, I don't get to tell some folks no.

For the record, I am 100% confident that if I had used the phrase that stays my partner would have stopped immediately.

:eek: Freaky in the non-sexual sense!
 

EllieP

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I became frightened when his eyes changed colors,

My husband's eyes change colors too! I had never seen such a thing before I met him. When he gets in the mood his brown eyes become green! I never knew if this was a noted physiological change or not.

But about the closest he's come to being a wild man was when he took Viagra once "just to see what would happen." All of a sudden he has a new toy to play with. And from my point of view it wasn't a fun toy. He would lose control sometimes, and I would have to reel him back to reality.

Our second episode with the med was much, much better than the first, but probably because I was more prepared.
 

MickeyLee

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i am a bit of a kink-monkey.. have a safe word, haven't called my safe word. i've been fortunate to roll with twinsies in my tastes.

when being a kink-monkey with others i employ the safe word.. and a slow-down word.
is kinda personal rule, i don't go to the dark-freaky-deaky places with new partners. with the exception of folks i've known/interacted with in a kink space. the habit has kept me on the fun side of partners' limits.

don't really attach much judgement to folks using/calling their safe words. when ya get into the heavier end of BDSM ya can sometimes trigger an unexpected reaction/feeling. sometimes those moments blow the vibe, other times heighten. so.. ya gotta roll with the reality of pushing boundaries, ya know?
 

Twistbarbie

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I've come close. Some of the things which I find most exciting are also dangerous and scary. But that's part of the appeal. With one partner, I became frightened when his eyes changed colors, and then again when his pupils dilated fully. I had never seen dark brown eyes change color before, and I had no idea that little iris could be visible, especially in a huge swath of sunlight, and a person could still be conscious. We were sober, but when his pupils basically ate his eyeballs, I was afraid he was blacked out or something. He was hurting me, but that was fine. It was his demeanor, and the change in his countenance, especially his eyes that gave me the screaming heebie-jeebies. I wasn't afraid of the (fairly tame) things we were doing. I was afraid of him. He looked... not quite human. Both moments, first when his eyes flashed a different color, and again when his pupils grew, I formed my mouth for the first syllable of my safe phrase, but didn't use it, deliberating. Both times he half whispered and half growled, "You don't get to tell me no." I didn't change the position of my lips and teeth right away, but I also didn't use the phrase. And ever since then, unbeknownst to me, that precise phrase has been a trigger. I have unreasonable affinity for that phrase. It sets me on fire. I found out fairly recently, when it happened to be uttered by someone else. Apparently, I don't get to tell some folks no.

For the record, I am 100% confident that if I had used the phrase that stays my partner would have stopped immediately.


that actually sounds scary :eek:

I have brown eyes, but hit in the right sunlight they're green, not sure this would cause a freak out but the dilation would bother me.

nearly told someone they were hurting me and the first time I had my arms pinned to my side was a little scary but also a rush. Both times I believe if I had said something they would have been horrified to have hurt or upset me.

however the topic of a safe word has come up recently. I need to consider this, in terms of what I'm preparred to do and not.