Oh boy, my first post here and already such a special subject...
Well, I thought I'd just throw in my 2 cents anyway. IMHO, you need to differentiate between the fetish and the general feeling. Let me try to explain that:
I bet that there are men with a kind of inferiority complex. For example, a female friend of mine plays soccer and always gets teased by guys "let's take a shower together after the game, haw, haw". Dead funny when you hear it for the hundredth time, I guess. <img> However, whenever she says: "Ok, no problem", the guys chicken out. I guess they fear that she might humiliate them (although she has never even hinted at giving a damn about dick sizes), and I also bet these guys are perfectly normal in terms of penis size. They may even boast a lot and say they are big, but they actually fear being humiliated - because they have a general fear of not measuring up.
In contrast to that, there are guys who might actually know (from a strictly rational point of view) that they are normal, but like to consider themselves small and have that fetish of being humiliated by a woman. In the situation outlined above, they would gladly accept the invitation to shower together and secretly hope she might make some humiliating comments. Those guys don't chicken out, they just have a fetish.
It's like with S/M fetish guys: The fact that somebody likes to beg for punishment, lick a lady's boots and be told that he is a worthless piece of cr*p doesn't mean that he is a submissive loser without self-confidence in real life. In fact, many times you will find that successful people who master their lives quite well take such a fetish as a kind of balance - at least that's what I can imagine. The same goes for women, too: I've seen many, many sex ads where a successful business woman loved being treated like a cheap slut and banged by several men - just because she gets the kicks of it, not because she's a worthless person without self-confidence who is too weak to get anything done.
Just by whipping someone's ass, you don't necessarily hurt him - it depends on his attitude and likings. Likewise, humiliating a man is not necessarily an actual humiliation of the person as a whole; it is often nothing more than enabling this person to live a particular fetish role and thus, to unfold an admittedly "strange" or unconventional part of his personality. So my advice (if I'm in a position to give any advice at my young age of 28 and far from extraordinary sexual experience) to the ladies would be: Take it easy, it's only a fetish, only an adult role play. You can play your little game, and afterwards you can have a cup of coffee with a man who is neither insulted or insecure of himself, just greatly relieved and otherwise perfectly normal.
I hope this made sense, at least in one line or two...
