Have you ever denied you had a lover in fear friends would interfere and perhaps hit on that person to try to take them away from you?
Have you ever kept your lover a total secret from your friends?
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nudeyorker
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No not for those reasons, but I once had an affair with a celebrity and did not tell anyone about it to save all involved being on page six!
Principessa
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No, never. My friends aren't ho's and sluts so that's never been an issue. :tongue: More importantly, we have completely different taste in men. I have two friends who have a penchant for dating handsome men with no jobs, drive, or ambition. Another one only dates observant Jews even though she is Methodist, then she complains when they don't commit.
Another is sweet but a professor and kind of an elitist snob. Translation, if he isn't a professional she won't even look at him. :frown1: 
I have had a secret lover right under everyone's noses for quite some time...
But I'm just a secretive dude...
I've never been the one to kiss & tell...
My life is nobody else's business...
I enjoy privacy myself.
goodwood
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i usually always keep my girlfriends a secret until/if it looks like it could be something serious or long term. there have been many that have been accidentally 'discovered' when friends have just shown up at my house unannounced to find a girl there and then they figure it out, but yeah. keep 'em a secret for awhile until i can see how things will go. it'sjust easier that way.
Primal_Savage
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Most of my friends and associates would probably freak out if they knew my LDR involved another guy. The same can be said for his friends and associates. We both live in homophobic worlds were our friends, almost all of whom are str8, know nothing. The couple of times we get together each month for long weekends and holidays are almost always spent alone, just the two of us. One of the worst aspects is that our friends always keep trying to fix us up with so and so's sister or friend.
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Probably, a good idea. I like feeling protected that way and to keep things personal. Friends don't have to know who you really love as long as you and your partner know.
No a hook-up is someone who is a casual fuck.
I'm talking someone you treat as your own personal treasure not someone your ashamed of.
if a man/woman *the one who holds you as treasure and the source of light in his/her universe* denies your existence when asked by the people in his/her life, you're not his/her treasure you are his/her piece on the side.
relationships might be kept quiet and personal in the first stages. to avoid ugly tie ups if things don't work out. keeping an established relationship hidden *for any reason other than personal safety: not being out, religious or deep seated family hang-ups* means one of the people are not fully committed. at least in my circle of people, that's how this whole thing plays out.
if you are his secret, you're his dirty little secret. you might not know you're a hook-up. *not you directly, this is general you*
ML
keep in mind i am just one idjit on the intorwebz my opinion don't mean a damn thing.
that's cuz ya cool enough to roll with Bond-like mystique. us poor mortals tend to go bragging when we're gettin it on the regular.
ML
*wants to be killah like the Big B when she grow up*
The above quote is a little different from the thread title:
"Have you ever kept your lover a total secret from your friends?"
Never denied anything but if it is not anyone's business would not reveal it.
I do not fear.
I do not fear interference or someone trying to take someone away.
There is a whole world of people who come in contact with us and the people we have relationships with and it is only natural that there may be attraction that one might make known. The relationship must be strong enough that the person you are involved with will decline advances.
People who interfere and try to take someone away are not friends.
If they already knew the person - just didn't know of your involvement with each other and wasn't trying to pursue but would try when aware you were lovers - those are little people. Dump them.
I have had relationships that were not public - usually involved people at the workplace.
The other times - when there are children thrown into the situation - sometimes best not to expose them to someone until it reaches a certain serious level.
AlteredEgo
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you know what?
I like you!:biggrin1:
one of the most fun things to do is act like you're NOT gettin' any when you're gettin' it all the time!
Yes, you do have a point. I totally agree with being his dirty secret but, hardly a fact if you have never made love yet. This post is true and is about me therefore, I have no doubt that sex is not involv ed here although it's about to happen and I'm not quite sure if I would feel that tolerant once we do make love.
Sometimes, we like to believe the ones we consider our friends have our best interests at heart. No matter what age or level of maturity we just don't grasp that our well meaning friend is in it basically for themselves for one reason or another. Sometimes it's done unconciously, at the time but, others always have the best solution for your problems however are not always the moral compass of the world.
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