Have you ever lost or nearly lost a job due to false sexual harassment accusations?

rayray

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I ask this question due to the current climate and the "Me Too" movement. With all that is going on with the supreme court nominee and all wear they are going back decades to smear a mans reputation . I'm not trying to be political but that is my example of what i believe is the start of the "Him Too" movement .
What do you think???
 

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I ask this question due to the current climate and the "Me Too" movement. With all that is going on with the supreme court nominee and all wear they are going back decades to smear a mans reputation . I'm not trying to be political but that is my example of what i believe is the start of the "Him Too" movement .
What do you think???

Please explain how you equate a woman coming forth, telling HER truth, what SHE remembers, with smearing a man's reputation? Conversely, can one then posture that unequivocal denials (what he claims to remember) from the man accused by said woman are smearing her reputation?

Cuz I don't quite understand how any person's reputation can be smeared by the truth. Seriously dude, help me out here.
 
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TexanStar

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I ask this question due to the current climate and the "Me Too" movement. With all that is going on with the supreme court nominee and all wear they are going back decades to smear a mans reputation . I'm not trying to be political but that is my example of what i believe is the start of the "Him Too" movement .
What do you think???

Firstly, Kavanaugh has been caught uttering several false statements during sworn testimony. Between that and his drunken rage during the hearings he's the perpetrator in his own victimization. Dude likes to shoot himself in the foot. Your defense of him communicates a definite interest in "being political".

To your larger topic, I've never had a claim of sexual harassment, false or otherwise.

I haven't been a saint in the workplace. I've had three workplace relationships (and in all three we made out and groped eachother on occasion in the office). I've had sexual conversations with female coworkers. I've made remarks to female coworkers about their bodies. Etc.

But all of it was clearly welcomed/invited.

If there's even a risk that I might be misinterpreting a woman's signals/cues then these just aren't areas I go into. I don't walk around telling random coworkers they look hot (even if they do). I don't touch coworkers who might not want to be touched. I don't do anything in mixxed company where any of it might make someone else uncomfortable. I don't do any of it anymore now that I'm married, actually.

I guess my point is it's not rocket science to suss out where an individual draws the line in terms of physical contact or nature of conversation and until you know where that line is if you err on the side of modesty you aren't going to run into trouble.

Kavanaugh was an angry, belligerent drunk in high school / college and by all indications he still is one.
 

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My bad! I said how i felt about the circus going in Washington. I will make no more comments about that . What about the Duke Lacrosse players that were falsely accused?
My post is really about something along the lines of being falsely accused of sexual harassment.
In the mid 90s I worked at a large commercial Bingo hall, I was the manager. Where not talking about your mom and pop place, anyway i was not publicly out as gay . I was in my mid 30s at the time. There was an 18 girl that worked at the snack bar, i ordered my dinner every night. She always brought my order to me at my selling counter, she was flirtatious with me all the time. I NEVER crossed a line with her, i would flirt back jokingly but i just was playing her game..Ends up that she wrote a letter to the main office claiming i was sexual harassing her. They believed her and I was fired. Maybe if i was out yhis might have never happened. All said and done i came to the conclusion that she wanted to fuck me and absolutely false accusations fucked me alright.
 

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My bad! I said how i felt about the circus going in Washington. I will make no more comments about that . What about the Duke Lacrosse players that were falsely accused?.

What about them?


My post is really about something along the lines of being falsely accused of sexual harassment.
In the mid 90s I worked at a large commercial Bingo hall, I was the manager. Where not talking about your mom and pop place, anyway i was not publicly out as gay . I was in my mid 30s at the time. There was an 18 girl that worked at the snack bar, i ordered my dinner every night. She always brought my order to me at my selling counter, she was flirtatious with me all the time. I NEVER crossed a line with her, i would flirt back jokingly but i just was playing her game..Ends up that she wrote a letter to the main office claiming i was sexual harassing her. They believed her and I was fired. Maybe if i was out yhis might have never happened. All said and done i came to the conclusion that she wanted to fuck me and absolutely false accusations fucked me alright.

I guess you shouldn't have flirted with her. It didn't help that you were old enough to be her dad and even if you were straight it wasn't appropriate (If you were 34 at the time, 34/2 + 7 = 24... 24 is about the youngest you should've been flirting with and not come across as a creeper. Mid 30's dudes shouldn't be flirting with high school seniors.
 

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I ask this question due to the current climate and the "Me Too" movement. With all that is going on with the supreme court nominee and all wear they are going back decades to smear a mans reputation . I'm not trying to be political but that is my example of what i believe is the start of the "Him Too" movement .
What do you think???
Yeah, going back decades to make a big deal out of something that was never reported sounds a little fishy. Let's hope this FBI report, WHATEVER it has to say, will be accepted by both parties and prod the Senate to get on with a good-faith performance of its constitutional duty of giving "advice and consent" to the President.
 
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I ask this question due to the current climate and the "Me Too" movement. With all that is going on with the supreme court nominee and all wear they are going back decades to smear a mans reputation . I'm not trying to be political but that is my example of what i believe is the start of the "Him Too" movement .
What do you think???
I have never been accused of sexual harassment or sexual misconduct, but in general the balance of power is heavily weighted toward the employer. That goes not only for sexual harassment, but also for age bias, racial discrimination, religious persecution, etc - even if it's a dispute between two individuals in the workplace, and not between an individual and the employer, place your bets on whoever the employer favors, regardless of how the evidence looks.
 
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marriedasian

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nope, never. when i'm at work, i'm working and that's it. i don't care how hot a piece of ass works with me, this is one line i will not cross... even if i see her after work in public. too much shit to lose and no ass is worth it, trust me.

everything else outside of that is fair game!
 

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Had a false sexual misconduct allegation filed against me. Long story short, I was exonerated. Never said anything to that woman that didn't have something to do with the job. I kept it professional. Always. I guess she didn't like that. It was back in 1991. Today, who the hell knows what would have happened to me. Probably lost my job. RayRay I get the gist of what you're saying. Hell I don't get into an elevator with a woman today if we're gonna be the only two in there. I catch the next one.
 

rayray

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What about them?




I guess you shouldn't have flirted with her. It didn't help that you were old enough to be her dad and even if you were straight it wasn't appropriate (If you were 34 at the time, 34/2 + 7 = 24... 24 is about the youngest you should've been flirting with and not come across as a creeper. Mid 30's dudes shouldn't be flirting with high school seniors.
There was nothing creepy about it . This didn't happen in a backroom or a utility closet . This happened while i was working around others, there was a lot of innuendo on her part. She was an adult . No need to make me sound like you described because not the case.

About the Lacrosse team, you can look that up. There are plenty of answers there for you .
 
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marriedasian

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There was nothing creepy about it . This didn't happen in a backroom or a utility closet . This happened while i was working around others, there was a lot of innuendo on her part. She was an adult . No need to make me sound like you described because not the case.

we all should know by now that despite her innuendo, women are vastly complex creatures and not worth the opportunity of sexual harassment in the workplace. there's too much ass out there to put your career at risk. there were many women in my career that flirted with me to no end yet i kept my cool and always kept it short and sweet.

she says: hey there good-looking
me says: thanks (walks away)

she says: what are you doing tonight?
me says: i'm going home to work from home.

she says: we're going to the bar after work, wanna come?
me says: i'm gonna go home, have work to do.

she says: do you think i should wear red or green tomorrow?
me says: i think you should wear whatever you want.

every single time the opportunity of sexual harassment came up, i just shut it down flat. not worth it my fellow man-brothers. too much ass in the open sea to bet your career on the ass in your workplace. don't be that guy. be confident enough in yourself knowing you can get ass elsewhere.
 

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we all should know by now that despite her innuendo, women are vastly complex creatures and not worth the opportunity of sexual harassment in the workplace. there's too much ass out there to put your career at risk. there were many women in my career that flirted with me to no end yet i kept my cool and always kept it short and sweet.

she says: hey there good-looking
me says: thanks (walks away)

she says: what are you doing tonight?
me says: i'm going home to work from home.

she says: we're going to the bar after work, wanna come?
me says: i'm gonna go home, have work to do.

she says: do you think i should wear red or green tomorrow?
me says: i think you should wear whatever you want.

every single time the opportunity of sexual harassment came up, i just shut it down flat. not worth it my fellow man-brothers. too much ass in the open sea to bet your career on the ass in your workplace. don't be that guy. be confident enough in yourself knowing you can get ass elsewhere.

It's sad it has to come to this. Sound workplace advice.
 
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TexanStar

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There was nothing creepy about it . This didn't happen in a backroom or a utility closet . This happened while i was working around others, there was a lot of innuendo on her part. She was an adult . No need to make me sound like you described because not the case.

You were a man in his mid-thirties flirting with an eighteen year old. If you want to consider that appropriate because she was legally an adult (an adult not even old enough to legally drink alcohol), you are welcome to, I'm just offering you another perspective about why it might have ended in a harassment complaint.

About the Lacrosse team, you can look that up. There are plenty of answers there for you .

I'm already familiar with it. You're the one who asked about it, but you did so very vaguely. No one knows what you want to discuss about it.
 

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we all should know by now that despite her innuendo, women are vastly complex creatures and not worth the opportunity of sexual harassment in the workplace. there's too much ass out there to put your career at risk. there were many women in my career that flirted with me to no end yet i kept my cool and always kept it short and sweet.

she says: hey there good-looking
me says: thanks (walks away)

she says: what are you doing tonight?
me says: i'm going home to work from home.

she says: we're going to the bar after work, wanna come?
me says: i'm gonna go home, have work to do.

she says: do you think i should wear red or green tomorrow?
me says: i think you should wear whatever you want.

every single time the opportunity of sexual harassment came up, i just shut it down flat. not worth it my fellow man-brothers. too much ass in the open sea to bet your career on the ass in your workplace. don't be that guy. be confident enough in yourself knowing you can get ass elsewhere.
You hit the nail right on the head. Sound advice.
 

rayray

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we all should know by now that despite her innuendo, women are vastly complex creatures and not worth the opportunity of sexual harassment in the workplace. there's too much ass out there to put your career at risk. there were many women in my career that flirted with me to no end yet i kept my cool and always kept it short and sweet.

she says: hey there good-looking
me says: thanks (walks away)

she says: what are you doing tonight?
me says: i'm going home to work from home.

she says: we're going to the bar after work, wanna come?
me says: i'm gonna go home, have work to do.

she says: do you think i should wear red or green tomorrow?
me says: i think you should wear whatever you want.

every single time the opportunity of sexual harassment came up, i just shut it down flat. not worth it my fellow man-brothers. too much ass in the open sea to bet your career on the ass in your workplace. don't be that guy. be confident enough in yourself knowing you can get ass elsewhere.
You atr absolutely right . Funny thing is that I worked with very attractive men. I never once had a problem with any one of them .
 

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No, never lost a job, never was threatened with losing a job. But I was falsely accused once and warned by a supervisor to a) avoid contact with the woman who accused me, and b) warned by that supervisor to not tell anyone about it, ostensibly to protect the anonymity of the accuser.

To make a long story short, I a) immediately told my supervisor all about it because there was no way I was going to take any chances of not being in front of it, and b) found a new job a few weeks later.

About a year after that I found out the woman falsely accused someone else.
 
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I had a very eyeopening experience that taught me how evil some people can be.

I was in my mid-40's and very unhappily married. I worked for a fairly large law firm that had grown rapidly and thus we were spread out between two offices 2 miles apart. I was having a bad day and a legal assistant in the other office called me about a file. I didn't know her very well but I knew she was married, early 30's and stunningly attractive. I vented about my day, one thing lead to another and before long she was meeting me for sex and telling me she loved me. What I didn't know is that she was fucking around with a lot of other guys. She was a topic of conversation in her building and she was complaining to her supervisor about everyone talking about her. A secretary in my building who was trying to look out for me told me that another attorney, "Joe", who worked in the other building, had told her that they were sleeping together. I didn't believe it and I sent her an email that said "word over here is that you're fooling around with Joe. She took my email to her boss to prove what people were saying about her. I knew nothing until the Senior Partner showed up in my office and, without giving any specifics, said that the woman had reported that I had sexually harassed her. She didn't want any action taken against me but wanted to report it. I denied everything to the senior partner and refused to believe it - after all, we were planning in meeting up after work to hook up in 2 hours. The Senior Partner insisted it was true and that he wasn't going to do anything and to just watch what I say to her. I went to my immediate boss - thinking I was being framed - and he told me that it was about the email.

I called her but she wasn't answering - she was with Joe. When she finally answered, she had a convoluted explanation she was trying to make up which made no sense. I couldn't believe a woman I was actively sleeping with could make a complaint against me just to stop being the subject of office gossip. Ironically, word spread fast and there were people who knew her husband and she was afraid she'd lose custody of her kids and she quit.

The incident cost me in some intangible ways and was quite embarrassing.
 

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I had a very eyeopening experience that taught me how evil some people can be.

I was in my mid-40's and very unhappily married. I worked for a fairly large law firm that had grown rapidly and thus we were spread out between two offices 2 miles apart. I was having a bad day and a legal assistant in the other office called me about a file. I didn't know her very well but I knew she was married, early 30's and stunningly attractive. I vented about my day, one thing lead to another and before long she was meeting me for sex and telling me she loved me. What I didn't know is that she was fucking around with a lot of other guys. She was a topic of conversation in her building and she was complaining to her supervisor about everyone talking about her. A secretary in my building who was trying to look out for me told me that another attorney, "Joe", who worked in the other building, had told her that they were sleeping together. I didn't believe it and I sent her an email that said "word over here is that you're fooling around with Joe. She took my email to her boss to prove what people were saying about her. I knew nothing until the Senior Partner showed up in my office and, without giving any specifics, said that the woman had reported that I had sexually harassed her. She didn't want any action taken against me but wanted to report it. I denied everything to the senior partner and refused to believe it - after all, we were planning in meeting up after work to hook up in 2 hours. The Senior Partner insisted it was true and that he wasn't going to do anything and to just watch what I say to her. I went to my immediate boss - thinking I was being framed - and he told me that it was about the email.

I called her but she wasn't answering - she was with Joe. When she finally answered, she had a convoluted explanation she was trying to make up which made no sense. I couldn't believe a woman I was actively sleeping with could make a complaint against me just to stop being the subject of office gossip. Ironically, word spread fast and there were people who knew her husband and she was afraid she'd lose custody of her kids and she quit.

The incident cost me in some intangible ways and was quite embarrassing.

This is the perfect scenario for "Don't shit where you eat." Dude, I hope you know how lucky you were.