Have you ever stopped feeling attracted to your partner?

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by lokican, Jan 21, 2012.

  1. lokican

    lokican Member

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    Ok so I'm using LPSG to sort of come clean on something I feel really guilty about. I was dating this girl for 4 months, and everything was going good. She was a great gf to me, and it was my first real relationship.

    For some reason the past month I started to feel less and less attracted to her. Physically she did not change at all, and it's not like she gained more weight or anything. I just found myself not attracted to her anymore. It was like suddenly started to notice things about her that really turned me off.
    I feel really shallow about this, and it made me feel really guilty.

    I tried to make it work, and ignore it but it ended up eating me up inside and made the last 2 weeks really hard to be around her.

    I told her on Wednesday that I just stopped having "Romantic" feelings for her. I really didn't want to hurt her, and did my best to let her down gently without telling her the real reason. I do care about her a lot, and wish I felt differently about her.However I just can't and feel kind of sleazy about the whole thing.

    Has this ever happened to anyone else?
     
  2. dolfette

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    that's what happens when relationships die.
    get used to it. it'll likely happen again.
     
  3. D_JacqueMiHoff

    D_JacqueMiHoff New Member

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    Dolfette speaks the truth.
     
  4. travis1985

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    Absolutely right. And you can't let yourself feel guilty for ending a relationship that has run its course. That is how people get trapped in unhappy situations. Better to be honest now than bury those feelings until you've been married for 15 years, own a house, two cars, and have kids together, and then realize you should have admitted it when you knew.
     
  5. gimme_another_inch

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    Not together any longer, miles and miles away from each other but, still, nobody as attractive as she was to my eyes!
     
  6. D_Crystallized Ginger

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    so you are saying that relationships are based uniquely upon sex???
     
  7. avg_joe

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    No !!! Personally, I'm not interested in any long term relationship.
     
  8. B_Nick8

    B_Nick8 New Member

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    It's called falling out of love (and in a relationship that may have been manufactured to begin with). These things happen.
     
  9. D_Crystallized Ginger

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    what does the love have to do with sex???
     
  10. redz_rule

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    This.

    Don't beat yourself up - you did the right thing if that's how you feel.
     
  11. dolfette

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    no i'm saying that, for people for whom sex is only great if the emotions are right, once the emotion dies the sexual desire dies too.

    other people get it.
     
  12. ShortsBulgeKid

    ShortsBulgeKid New Member

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    If your not into her anymore then you should do you both a favor and end it and move on. I actually met a guy and was completely happy with him for about the first 6 months then I sorta lost those feelings and it kinda ended on my end, he was completely into me though and I felt to bad to hurt him so I wound up staying with him for 3+ more years, he lived with me in my house and everything. We finally broke up about 4 months ago shortly after I moved to LA but now I feel like I wasted a good chunk of my 20's being with someone i didn't really want to be with. So don't feel bad about ending a relationship, people always move on, it's hard at first but give it time.
     
    #12 ShortsBulgeKid, Jan 21, 2012
    Last edited: Jan 21, 2012
  13. D_Crystallized Ginger

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    thank u very much for explanaining... it makes sense
     
  14. Solvejg

    Solvejg New Member

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    Yes.

    I have a really strong fetish that has to do with apperance. In the past if this was altered, I would no longer feel any attraction towards a person. However I am working through this and focusing on the other parts of a persons body i find attractive to minimise the effect of this fetish. It makes me feel sick inside to feel like this at all.
     
  15. D_kfnv6473

    D_kfnv6473 New Member

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    I most certainly have. I'm going through that right now with my wife. It has nothing to do with her physical appearance, as she looks better now than in years. It has everything to do with a strain in our relationship. That makes extremely difficult for me to feel any romantic or sexual attraction towards her.

    You are definitely not alone and I would say that you handled the situation appropriately given the relative immaturity of the relationship.
     
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