Have You (or Someone You Know) Ever “scheduled” Sex With Your Partner?

Rsechs

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My comment about outsourcing provoked some sidebar conversations, so here is another question:

Have you (or someone you know) ever “scheduled” sex with your partner?

The question is not about your run-of-the-mill French Maid/Pool Boy scene on alternate Thursdays, but about maintaining a relationship where the parties have mismatched libidos.

On this subject, there is ample learning available on the internets, but does anyone here have first-hand (or reliable second-hand) experience that she would like to share? Regards.
 
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My wasband and I lived apart for a number of years due to his work. (and yes, I think this led to the end of our relationship) I'd see him every 2-3 weeks, so that would kind of dictate the schedule. I don't think this is what you're looking for, though.
 

LaFemme

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Marriage and sex therapists often suggest scheduling sex for couples with mismatched libidos. It allows for the higher libido partner to know their need will be met, and allows for the lower libido partner to mentally prepare.

There’s a lot of other therapy that goes a long with scheduling - intimacy exercises, renewal exercises, etc. It’s just not a matter of scheduling time together. It’s about creating a greater understanding of one another and strengthening intimacy bonds.
 

sweetlucky12

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We went through a few periods where we just weren’t able to have sex for whatever reason (busy schedules, kids all up in our business, etc.), so we’ve planned out and scheduled before. It maybe isn’t as fun as spontaneous sex, but when it’s been a few weeks it is definitely still pretty good.
 

Taya

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On the contrary, spontaneity has been a big turn on for me due to the surprise element. I do have a hyper sex drive but I never had a partner taking a break.

Actually, this would be normal with my relationships before marriage because not living under the same roof meant limited opportunities for sex. And any chance of having it was most welcome.

The only one who would be complaining would be my husband but I never saw him with a "headache" or too tired from work.
God I love the man.
 

missT44

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My husband and I have very busy lives and I often travel so we have to schedule shenanigans sometimes ... it can be quite erotic and definitely an opportunity to add something exciting into the mix.
We particularly schedule a meeting for when I return home after a work trip to ensure we keep our calendars clear JUST for each other ... we pre-empt the waiting with teasing texts and pics and ideas and suggestions on what we’d like to do to each other... some of the hottest sessions We’ve ever had!


Helps when you have so many things you need to prioritise ... although he’s never once said no when I’ve woken him up in the middle of the night because I’m super horny!!! God, I love this man ;)
 

missT44

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Marriage and sex therapists often suggest scheduling sex for couples with mismatched libidos. It allows for the higher libido partner to know their need will be met, and allows for the lower libido partner to mentally prepare.

There’s a lot of other therapy that goes a long with scheduling - intimacy exercises, renewal exercises, etc. It’s just not a matter of scheduling time together. It’s about creating a greater understanding of one another and strengthening intimacy bonds.
I love this idea of trying to meet your partner at their need. We schedule every other important event in our lives, why not good sex? If it’s important to you then you will make it a priority .. whatever it takes. This is also a good show of commitment to your partner .. I believe good relationships require investment of time and energy and this is continued maintenance of a good bond between you. Thanks for sharing this xx
 

Scarletbegonia

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I've been all "gonna fuck ya eyes blue at 8:00pm. It's a good idea to hydrate and limber up before I get there" :imp:;):heart_eyes:

I don't think my phone has a booty scheduling app :confused:
It should have one!

It occurred to me that we do get some random naughty time. It’s a phone call that the respective housemates have disappeared for the next couple hours.
It is, in retrospect, very much like getting schmexytimes with a kid in the house.
And there’s a high from it, for sure.
But planned time together, sex specified or not, is good as well.
We use sex as bonding, affection display, and fun playtime. Occasionally, we do some tantric activity too.
Planning can be fun. We tease each other for a while beforehand. Sometimes in a fun way, sometimes in a dark romance way.
 
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Holly Doors

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Scheduling as in working things around our kids yes to an extent, our eldest two are at boarding school so not an issue, our youngest's bedroom is on the other side of the house anyway so not an issue either at night. I'm more a spontaneous kinda woman anyway, we work things out, there's always a way.
 
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Violet_Rivers

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Scheduling as in working things around our kids yes to an extent, our eldest two are at boarding school so not an issue, our youngest's bedroom is on the other side of the house anyway so not an issue either at night. I'm more a spontaneous kinda woman anyway, we work things out, there's always a way.

Yes, scheduled sex does loose much of the spontaneity which in turn seems much less passionate most of the time. It almost seems like an appointment for sex.
 
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Scarletbegonia

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Yes, scheduled sex does loose much of the spontaneity which in turn seems much less passionate most of the time. It almost seems like an appointment for sex.
But when the alternative is not having any sex, or a dead bedroom, it’s worth it.

plus one could really amp up the sexy factor, it’s just that both partners would be planning some.
 

Scarletbegonia

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My comrade in ink, Doug Brown, wrote a book, “Just Do It,” about he and his wife’s adventures in nightly sex. Very scheduled.

I don’t live with my partner. We plan escapades.

I should follow up... if you ever learn that someone you know wrote a tell all about their sex life, don’t read it. It’s...weird. You know the awkward on a deep level, and you will literally have their voice in your head. And likely, when you do something similar with the person who makes you tingle, you are going to picture this associate and since this associate isn’t the one who makes you tingle, you will laugh in a bad way, or dry up like the Sahara.
 

Britney2000

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I don't think it has to be mismatched at all. Sometimes hectic schedules get in the way. You're tired or something. Scheduling means (to me) you're making an effort. A committed effort. I love the anticipation of knowing Saturday night is coming. I love getting revved up thinking about it! I think it helps.
 
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