Having Feelings for your Housemate

EdWoody

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As usual a lot of overreaction on here. I've lived with lots of roommates / flatmates, all apprently straight, and I've sniffed their underwear and sometimes jacked off in it or in their beds.
And you're suggesting this is a GOOD thing?

There's a big difference between having fantasies and violating another person's belongings and personal space to the extent of opening yourself up to legal action and/or violence.
 
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D_Jared Padalicki

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And you're suggesting this is a GOOD thing?

There's a big difference between having fantasies and violating another person's belongings and personal space to the extent of opening yourself up to legal action and/or violence.

Wow, I totally agree with you! that goes too far, you crossed the line. You need to get out, bit sick to do that.
 
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438818

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This is someone who you live with. Do not have sex with them or try to get them to have sex with you.
 
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Guys Hold On, No one is talking about rape here ,anyway in our country Men can't get raped, I was saying if I am drunk and he is really drunk maybe i can make a move on him. I think he is very comfortable with gay people his last housemates was a gay couple and my personal view is if you comfortable with gay people generaly you are more than likely be keen on trying a gay experience just once.

That is rape or sexual assault like having sex with someone who is drunk.
 

jeff black

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Guys Hold On, No one is talking about rape here ,anyway in our country Men can't get raped, I was saying if I am drunk and he is really drunk maybe i can make a move on him. I think he is very comfortable with gay people his last housemates was a gay couple and my personal view is if you comfortable with gay people generaly you are more than likely be keen on trying a gay experience just once.

1) As mentioned somewhere else, having sex with someone who is intoxicated is considered rape, as both parties are not able to think clearly.

2) If you are considering drugging him with sleeping pills and taking advantage of him, you are a rapist.

3) Why are you insisting on making a move on this one guy? Haven't you ever heard the expression, "don't shit where you eat?" It basically comes out to, go elsewhere for sexual partners. Your roommates should be off limits. Is south Africa so limited in male sexual partners that you feel the need to only try this guy?

4) Just because a person is comfortable with gay men doesn't mean hes interested in messing around with a guy. It just means he's comfortable with gay men.

5) Regardless of what country you live in, a man can get raped. Just because the guy is embarassed he was taken advantage of, doesn't mean it isn't rape.
 

boerkie

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dear cape town boi!!!
jisses!! i remember that feeling well.

having grown up in the worcester area, just down the road from you.

a lot of it has to do with the repressed sexuality that is so ingrained into the za culture.

it will take a whole generation to breed that fucked-upness outta the collective psyche!!

i have had my fair share of "sleep walking", or "touching in my sleep" incidents.

just remember, it is never cool to violate another being.

yes, i know, them south african bois are mucho sexi, so butch, with that slight feminine mannerism.

thats from the brit colony influence days. especially the afrikaner mannekies!!(bois)

boerepiel rule!!(afrikaner dick rules!!)

dont play him. f


for believe you me, and this is quite a few more years of experience talking, what ever you do to fuck with, or fuck up someone else, WILL come back to revisit you.

karma bebe!! KARMA.
 

jerryhall

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Sniffing a straight guy's underwear or fantasizing about getting a straight guy drunk to see if he wants to then have sex is NORMAL for a gay guy. The OP shouldn't beat himself up for that.

Drugging someone so you can have sex with him is definitely NOT OK. Maybe the OP is not giving himself enough freedom to accept his fantasies, so he goes overboard.

Meanwhile, you gotta get yourself some other sexual outlet so you don't get carried away with this, this is a FANTASY, NOT REALITY.
 

ManchesterTom

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1) As mentioned somewhere else, having sex with someone who is intoxicated is considered rape, as both parties are not able to think clearly.

2) If you are considering drugging him with sleeping pills and taking advantage of him, you are a rapist.

3) Why are you insisting on making a move on this one guy? Haven't you ever heard the expression, "don't shit where you eat?" It basically comes out to, go elsewhere for sexual partners. Your roommates should be off limits. Is south Africa so limited in male sexual partners that you feel the need to only try this guy?

4) Just because a person is comfortable with gay men doesn't mean hes interested in messing around with a guy. It just means he's comfortable with gay men.

5) Regardless of what country you live in, a man can get raped. Just because the guy is embarassed he was taken advantage of, doesn't mean it isn't rape.


I live in South Africa, and there is such a thing as male rape.

Our Mr Island ....... has CT as part of his login name. CT is the universal short code for Cape Town. Cape Town is a wonderful place with entire sections of the city being predominantly gay. This wonderful city is a cosmopolitan swinging city and is considered by most in South Africa to be the GAY MECCA OF AFRICA. --- If you can't find a companion in CT, then you need lessons from your "Queer Peers".

If I didn't live in Durban - Cape Town would certainly be my home. Even during the apartheid days, when any sex between men could have you arrested, Cape Town had it's Sandy Bay - Nude Beach and a MEN ONLY swimming and tanning area at the end of a long pier. Van Der Graaf's Pool?
 
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Island Club Guy CT

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Being gay is not easy , no matter where you live, The gay scence in CT is not great all the parties & fun is in Johannesburg & Pretoria. I have feelings for my housemate thats fine, its how i am going to control it , is what matters. I have been speaking to my closest straight friend to get advice, in reality this is tough for me. I would never rape anyone its not in me do that & since when is sniffing underwear a crime???
 

jeff black

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Being gay is not easy , no matter where you live, The gay scence in CT is not great all the parties & fun is in Johannesburg & Pretoria. I have feelings for my housemate thats fine, its how i am going to control it , is what matters. I have been speaking to my closest straight friend to get advice, in reality this is tough for me. I would never rape anyone its not in me do that & since when is sniffing underwear a crime???

Sniffing the underwear was the odd part. My issue was actually with the "give him sleeping pills" part. People don't joke about that.

However, there has been some excellent advice from people in this thread,
(specifically durbantom, greekgott and the first few posts). I think the majority of people have suggested you go out and find some new people to hang out with. As for the parties etc, you could always try to head down there for a visit one weekend. I really do suggest you read durbantom's post, as you might find there was a better gay community than you realized.
 

Island Club Guy CT

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I went to Johannesburg every 2nd month last year until i got hijacked . After that experience you get scared to go out a night. I still suffer from trauma from that night. From a straight male perspective this like sharing a house with a super model you will fantasize about it. Please don't be so harse with me, I am normal guy made a mistake sniffing underwear (LPSG fault that where the idea came from) Anyone with Legal Ideas how to test a straight guys sexuality? Is it really rape when two drunk people have sex?
 
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I went to Johannesburg every 2nd month last year until i got hijacked . After that experience you get scared to go out a night. I still suffer from trauma from that night. From a straight male perspective this like sharing a house with a super model you will fantasize about it. Please don't be so harse with me, I am normal guy made a mistake sniffing underwear (LPSG fault that where the idea came from) Anyone with Legal Ideas how to test a straight guys sexuality? Is it really rape when two drunk people have sex?

Sorry to hear that you got hijacked by kaffirs. Yes it is rape when you get someone drunk just to have sex with them. Get some therapy. Just ASK this guy if he is gay or bisexual and see what he tells you. If he is straight and actually is straight or heterosexual he will not have sex with you. Try to get out more and date bisexual and gay men who want you for who you are. Or try meeting them on Gaydar or othe sites.
 

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Being gay is not easy , no matter where you live, The gay scence in CT is not great all the parties & fun is in Johannesburg & Pretoria. I have feelings for my housemate thats fine, its how i am going to control it , is what matters. I have been speaking to my closest straight friend to get advice, in reality this is tough for me. I would never rape anyone its not in me do that & since when is sniffing underwear a crime???

It's not a crime but certainly abnormal behavior.

Just give up. If you cannot control your own urges, then you need to live separately from each other. Or at least consider seeing a psychologist.
 

sexplease

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Ok, here's the bottom line for YOU. I'm over 50, had more experience in my life with many things and people - probably more than most people would in 3 lifetimes, and YOU look young. And are probably very green (because you are here asking).
At my age, I can separate sex and lust and love. Stating that, I rarely, almost never SHIT WHERE I EAT.
I suggest you don't either. If you do anything, try anything or attempt emotional or physical intimacy with your roommate, you're opening a can of worms you can't imagine.

A month! adults know this is puppy love or lust.
(young guys and their rampant hormones clouding their tiny little brains)
 
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MarkLondon

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Ok, here's the bottom line for YOU. I'm over 50, had more experience in my life with many things and people - probably more than most people would in 3 lifetimes, and YOU look young. And are probably very green (because you are here asking).
At my age, I can separate sex and lust and love. Stating that, I rarely, almost never SHIT WHERE I EAT.
I suggest you don't either. If you do anything, try anything or attempt emotional or physical intimacy with your roommate, you're opening a can of worms you can't imagine.

A month! adults know this is puppy love or lust.
(young guys and their rampant hormones clouding their tiny little brains)

QFT!!!

Lusting after housemates is even worse than workmates. And that's usually a no-no too.
 

jjsjr

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Yeah... I agree with nearly all these responses... keep your mouth closed and your thoughts to yourself.

I once lived at the beach for 6 months, there were 4 of us total, 2 guys and 2 girls. Of the 2 guys, we were both gay and he had a crush on me. He never told me, but he told one of the girls... who quickly told me the next day. But what I was noticing over the summer was that he was using my moisturizers, my shampoo. I started hiding my moisturizers and he went out and bought the exact stuff I was using. I went to this local spa one afternoon... 2 days later, he went. He was starting to get creepy. I never really called him out, even though I should have done that. But to hear it from the other side of the court might be helpful.
 

B_Hamadim

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The feelings you had are Completely normal, you are sexually attracted to him and you want him so bad.

Get to know him more, Perhaps he is not really "Straight" .. even If he told you that, take things slowly before you start sucking him.

Forget all the above posters and embrace my words as If there is no tomorrow.
 

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Its getting harder as every day past, but i am going get creative He loves playing ps3 games so i am going to put a porn dvd by accident into his favourite game, maybe he says we both can watch together. I am going to do this legal way. Maybe i can help other guys and girls straight or gay in a similar situation.
 
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jjsjr

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Its getting harder as every day past, but i am going get creative He loves playing ps3 games so i am going to put a porn dvd by accident into his favourite game, maybe he says we both can watch together. I am going to do this legal way. Maybe i can help other guys and girls straight or gay in a similar situation.



If you genuinely do this, prepare for your living quarters to get very uncomfortable.


What is it you really want out of this... A sexual relationship with a straight guy??? You do understand what 'straight' means. Appreciate the friendship for what it is, because the added drama will be likely to end everything between you. And that's more unfair for him.
 

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I got a new housemate this month, straight male with a girlfriend. I have now started to grow feelings for him. Last night after he told me that he broke up with his girlfriend these feelings just errupted. I went on to sniff his underwear ( my first time doing this) How can I approach him regarding my feelings ,I think he is 100% straight. Its only been 8 days we have been sharing a house, He still locks the bathroom door etc. Help & Advice needed. I am 100% gay male.

I will tell you what...next time you r fucking him in the ass..if he grabs your balls..Than he's gay!!