having insecurities...

Discussion in 'The Healthy Penis' started by hunterlj01, May 28, 2006.

  1. hunterlj01

    hunterlj01 New Member

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    First off, I'm a 23 year old male, and this is my first post, so I'd like to say hello to all :) I've been reading this forum somewhat over the past week and it has tons of great info!
    Secondly, my concern... I'd say my penis is somewhere in the upper-middle' range at about 7" long and 5.5" in girth, but yet I have a terrible problem with being insecure - I can't help but feel like its too small. Whenever I'm with a girl I am borderline obsessed with this, which of course makes for a worse experience. Some of my friends know about my size (due to a skinny dipping party) and often bring it up as being 'big', and my most recent g/f even told me I was the largest she'd had (although only out of 2 others), but I still cant seem to get over it :/
    Anyone ever have similar problems, or have any suggestions?
    thanks for listening (or I guess reading?), I look forward to making more posts in the future :)
     
  2. warmhorizon

    warmhorizon Member

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    I kinda feel the same way. Lots of people say mine's big, but I don't see it and I always think they're being polite even though i know there must be some truth to it. I didn't want to say anything because I thought it was just me being negative, but i totally get you.
     
  3. flawdatiger

    flawdatiger Member

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    I actually have the same problem as well. I've been told it's big by a few people and had a lot of others to compare to in the dorm showers. I just feel it's missing about a half inch or so to perfection.
     
  4. rob_just_rob

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    Wow. You sound so much like me. :redface:

    I can totally relate - I've had girlfriends tell me I'm big, make favourable comments about it, and empirically, I know I'm above any standard for average that I've seen. And yet, I still feel small sometimes and I still worry about it, sometimes. :confused:

    In my case, it took time to (mostly) get over it. The good news is that you're 23, and considerably further along in the getting-over-it process than I was at your age.

    As for what to do about it - well, sex shouldn't be entirely about your penis. Do other things, take your mind off it. I found that my anxiety with women dropped dramatically after I had helped them to an orgasm or 2 :tongue:
     
  5. Mr. Snakey

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    :smile: Relax! Dont dwell on this it will ruin your sex life .You are a good size You said your friends saw it and said you were big. Think about that.Enjoy life and have fun.!
     
  6. Gisella

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    Yep i do agree...it may ruin relationships.

    Its not pleasant having relationship with a man that feels this way...deal with it anyway possible look for profissional help or whatever necessary.
     
  7. headbang8

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    Guys, seriously.

    Here's something that ain't easy. But it's essential. Love yourself.

    It's one of the hardest things to do in a world where you're told you need to be better, stronger, richer, bigger. But you know what? You're perfect as you are. Worrying about other people's judgements of you means you haven't actually judged yourself to be worthy, likeable, lovable.

    And only YOU can do that.

    I know it sounds glib, but you gotta do it. And it's harder than you think.
     
  8. Matthew

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    Several people have posted on this forum with the same feelings. No surprise that it's a hang-up. Reading through LPSG will confirm that you are bigger than average, that men especially tend to overthink size, and that if you are truly concerned about what potential partners think, you will stop worrying about size and focus on pleasing them physically and emotionally. But LPSG also has an unrepresentative sample of the largest guys around, so you have to ask yourself if it is actually helping your confidence or not.

    In the end, if you can't shake the incorrect feeling that you're small, and it's causing problems with your partners, it could be a kind of body dysmorphia and you should talk to a counselor.
     
  9. hunterlj01

    hunterlj01 New Member

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    Thanks for the comments everyone :)
    Yeah, you're def right, you gotta love yourself... but damn if it isnt hard; sometimes I feel that unless I have a 10 inch porn penis, its not big. I always hear that the averages are like 6ish anyways, but I feel like the bottom half is rarely mentioned by women or men, so my 'comparative size' seems skewed to me sometimes.
    Thanks for the encouragement; it wasnt easy for me to discuss that, and I appreciate everyone being so open and helpful :)
     
  10. B_NineInchCock_160IQ

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    7 X 5.5 will be plenty big enough for most girls out there. Hanging out at this place isn't going to do much to boost your confidence, though. and really, you ought to be more concerned with that than with the size of your penis. You're definitely not small, but women are going to pick up on the fact that you're insecure, which will be a turn off to most of them.
     
  11. Mr. Snakey

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    Yes! You have to be comfortable in your own skin.Be comfortable with what you see in the mirror everyday
     
  12. chico8

    chico8 New Member

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    The only way to solve the issue is to figure out why you're insecure about it. Has someone said something that made you insecure? Do you spend too much time on this board where there are a lot or truly big dicks? Who are you in competition with? If women enjoy having sex with you, that's all that really counts, not how big it is. Be thankful you don't have a truly small penis.
     
  13. jeff black

    jeff black <img border="0" src="/images/badges/gold_member.gi

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    I think everyone has insecurities... How can anyone be THAT confident. Maybe the trick is, to realize that no one is perfect... Or in your case Hunter, coming to the realization that you are definetaly above average.. and more than alot of girls/guys will get to have in their lifetime.:biggrin1:

    Good luck buddy, and welcome as well.
     
  14. Mr.caramel

    Mr.caramel Member

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    Im having the same problem as you hunter. I have been told by several girls that i was big but i always thought they were being polite. I agree with the majority that believe that you should love yourself. I went through a meltdown into depression when i measured my penis corectly and found out my real sats. 7.5" in length and 4.5" in girth. But i have come to accept myself and confidence is what really turns my girlfriend on.
     
  15. D_Elijah_MorganWood

    D_Elijah_MorganWood New Member

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    And what about this caused the onset of depression?
     
  16. Mr.caramel

    Mr.caramel Member

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    Sorcerer I thought that my girth was about 5.1" but i measured it to find out that it was only 4.5" so i was very disapointed. But I came to accept me for me. My girlfriend is really turned on by my new confidence
     
  17. D_Elijah_MorganWood

    D_Elijah_MorganWood New Member

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    Confidence is indeed a turn-on. I'm sure there are plenty of guys out there who would love to have 7.5 inches.
     
  18. Snozzle

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    It's like money: there are people who are poor with lots of money and rich with little, depending on their outlook.

    As for comparing yourself with others, remember,
    1. Porn stars are chosen for their size, so they're all bigger than average;
    2. Average and small guys are less likely to flaunt themselves in lockerrooms and showers, so the ones you see are likely to be bigger than average.
     
  19. Ryan_8

    Ryan_8 New Member

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    I was obsessed by my cock size all through my teens through my twenties.

    My father is horse hung. A very large man, I assumed his cock was normal and mine would grow to be the same.

    During school showers I’d check everyone’s cock I could and had a mental tally who was larger and who was smaller. I judged each guy on his size (LOL). Each time I saw a larger one I felt bad, each time a smaller I’d feel a little better.

    In my mid teens a friend came round and I was in the bath, my mother sent him into the bathroom and he commented on how small my dick looked.

    In my later teens two other school friends had very large penises, whenever we went swimming I felt very inferior and small. I’d get into and stay in the water as soon as possible. I’d feel terrible as they ran around with their big packages jiggling in their Speedo’s.

    After moving to college I did not see many cocks. The odd one on a late night film.

    At eighteen on a camping trip with the same two guys and two others we had lots of time in the swimming pool. I walked in on one of them naked. My heart sank his cock was huge, I felt tiny.

    On the same trip the other large friend looks at my cock and asks how I’m going to impress any girl with that. (Turns out I am gay so did not need to bother about that)

    So from then on whenever I’d been in a situation where I was going to see other cocks or be naked I would worry everyone else would be hung, I’d be laughed at.

    Later in my early twenties I met a friend in a hotel I was working in. We used the pool. He looked like he did not have much in his Speedos. It made me feel better and bigger.

    In my mid twenties I came out and started to see many cocks.
    Then I got connected to the Internet, and I saw loooooootsssssss of cocks.
    The surprise of it all was discovering my little cock was actually quite big. Not massive, but bigger than average.
    One guy held it and stopped. Just stared. I said, ‘What!, What’s wrong’ he said, ‘fuck kid, I though I was big’.
    Another time I was in a Jacuzzi naked with a bunch of guys, my cock was in fluffed state. I stood up and they all gasped. That was a great ego boost.

    No I’m in my thirties. I don’t care. If I see a guy with a massive one, I don’t feel inferior or envy it, I just admire it.

    Would I care if my boyfriend had a small cock. Hell no, it would be the last thing I would worry about. The only time would be if he had a micro penis.

    Size is only an issue if it’s really small or really large.
    The best cock I played with was about 5.5” hard. I could actually get the dam thing in my mouth. :smile:
     
  20. Wonderboy

    Wonderboy New Member

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    Meh, I myself don't think my cock is that big but then again I don't think its small either. And I've never had any complaints. Although what gets me is I've never had comments/compilments from girls! eg I say 'ooh you're so tight' and she'd say 'you're so big' which is like a knee-jerk reaction...I want an unforced compliment.

    I guess girls, or at least the ones I've been with are more reserved. If your worry is that no girls have said your big, then you're not alone. Your cock is big though! Hold it, treasure it, love it :D
     
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