having sex with a coworker

bumrubber

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No self control either - as a restaurant manager 3-4 years ago I wound up screwing 3 of the waitresses. Granted, it was after they were no longer working there, but the sexual tension definitely started on the job. I'm in my mid-40s and they're all 22-25yo college girls.

When I was 18 I had a summer job in a restaurant kitchen and wound up with one of the waitresses, also my age, as a fuck buddy. She lived near work and we'd go to her place before and after. We had nothing in common otherwise.

I think the latter situation is normal (if not inevitable) and age-appropriate, but the former one was definitely inappropriate.

For better or worse, restaurants are hookup central.
 

helgaleena

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i guess i have to say also that she suffers from depression and she has admitted to me that even though i am in her life the depression has not lifted. so i really do not care to be involved anymore.

As someone with chronic depression I advise you not to prolong this then. And check your company policies on fraternization! Makes sure during the breakup to stress to her that you want your work relationship to stay cordial and impartial. Then DO that.
 

D_Teasdale Tittithorne

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As someone with chronic depression I advise you not to prolong this then. And check your company policies on fraternization! Makes sure during the breakup to stress to her that you want your work relationship to stay cordial and impartial. Then DO that.


Good advice there. Since you've already dipped your pen, you just have to make the break-up as smooth for her as possible. Or, you could manipulate her into thinking she doesn't want you. :tongue:
 

B_willy5904

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My rule of thumb has been not to have sex with co-workers. It's my prejudice going back to a disastrous affair in high school.

But my wife has just reminded me that the three other couples we swing and live with all work for me. The eight of us own and run a family business together, and I am the ceo.
 

D_Teasdale Tittithorne

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My rule of thumb has been not to have sex with co-workers. It's my prejudice going back to a disastrous affair in high school.

But my wife has just reminded me that the three other couples we swing and live with all work for me. The eight of us own and run a family business together, and I am the ceo.


Well that's slightly different. And seeing that you're the CEO, you make policy, no?
 

helgaleena

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There would be no policy for intra company relationships. What my employees do on there own time is their business not mine, as long as it is not illegal.

Thank goodness you are open minded, but before you were ceo, you too had to play by others' rules at work, and so you know it's dangerous for others who do not have the good fortune to work for you..
 

drac

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i'm in a supervisory position, but she is in another department. our departments work closely together.

Oof course your departments work CLOSE together, give it a go and have fun with it, but if it ends do it right, and if she doesn't then let it go, no dirty laundry at work.
 

Elastagirl

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I think if you're talking about a relationship, you just have to be sure it's worth the risk. Instead of going out because you're attracted to the person and they seem cool, I would think you would have to know them better and really feel like you might have something with them. I think anyone would probably go for it if they were that into the person but I just think you have to be more "sure" if it's someone you work with so at least the upside is worth the risk.
 

B_willy5904

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Thank goodness you are open minded, but before you were ceo, you too had to play by others' rules at work, and so you know it's dangerous for others who do not have the good fortune to work for you..

Yea, I have been fortunate. I have owned my own business since I was 25.

But even for CEOs it can be dangerous. Look around Silicon Valley this past year. Mark Hurd at HP got booted for questionable expenses related to an affair. He went to Oracle as Co-CEO. Charles Phillips then CEO at Oracle had weathered a storm last January as his ex-mistress posted Billboards around the valley announcing their long-term relationship to the world.

Everyone likes to bash Oracle Chairman Larry Ellison but he seems to look the other way when he has an executive that can bring home the bacon.
 
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coachreffn

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At this point, the fact that she is a co-worker is not the major point. The fact that she suffers from depression and that you are not helping...well, I would bail at that point...but with compassion, tact and care. However the fact that you are in a somewhat supervisory role or relationship is tough. If you were my friend, I would caution your judgment in getting involved with any person who was 'depressed'....Be a good friend to that person, encourage them to get assistance professionally but back away from any kind of 'relationship'.
 

B_ILIW

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Not dating co-workers is a just a rule of thumb, not an absolute. I wouldn't advise dating a subordinate, but if it's somebody in a different department then why not?
 

bigfuckinpenis

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A few years back I worked with a chick who had a hardon for from the moment I first saw her. She was a tough Latin chick, the kind I like, and we worked in the same department and hit it off immediately. I didn't think it would be a problem if I tried to hit it, because she was there during the day and I was there at night, and we only had an hour when we were in the office together. We started to hang out a lot outside of work.

There was something about her. She was 5'9, taller than I usually like, and she was built a little differently from the petite girls with bouncy tits and grabable asses I always get with. She liked to argue with me, playfully, or so I thought, and she delighted in making a big deal about how she felt she was a better athlete than I. She also had some very unique spiritual ideas. She talked a lot about God, Christ, and how only she knew the truth about the mysteries of the heavens. During that time I was very into Shamanism and Tarot cards and things of that nature, and I usually wore a talisman made for me by an elderly Native woman I had studied with in the southwest. She would tell me that all of that was not of God, and had a similar reaction when she visited my home and saw my collection of Egyptian, Greek, Buddhist, Celtic, Aztec, Mayan, and African cultural artifacts. I would have to hide them whenever she came over, because she claimed evil spirits would inhabit them. Basically, she was trying to convert me into her church of one, and I played along, wanting to get in her pants. She also revealed to me that she was a virgin, initially saying that she had made a covenant to do God's work, and that when the Rapture came that she would be with her one true love, Jesus Christ, for all eternity. She also told me that our destiny was to meet, that she and I would travel around the world together, identify and stop the Anti-Christ, and prevent the Apocalypse.

So the stage was set. I wanted to conquer her via my dick, she wanted to conquer me via religion. One night she came to my apartment to cleanse it of evil spirits, and I asked her if she was interested in trying to fool around. She said that there was a Demon in my building that had taken possession of me that moment and made me try to hook up with her. She came by on Super Bowl Sunday, and we were drinking Corona and smoking weed. She noticed I had a few Magnum XLs by my bed, and said she thought I was full of shit. I offered to show her. I spilled my Corona.

She said "OK, I wanna see it, for scientific purposes, but before we go any further, I'll be honest with you. I don't like penises. I'm into women. I was a man in all my previous lives, going back to Biblical times, and this time I ended up in a woman's body". I was stunned. Here was my big chance. She was gonna give me a handjob, but it was on her terms, not mine. She put on a plastic glove, and tried her best. Her phone kept ringing, and she kept telling me to hurry it up. She then got on top of me and straddled me, but she was still in dress pants and had a big ass, so that ended up hurting more than helping. She let me touch one of her breasts for about 15 seconds, but she was also telling me how she was getting no enjoyment from this at all and was just trying to help me. I couldn't bust a nut, and, for the first time in my life, I couldn't keep it hard.

She was needed at her next party, so I pulled up my pants and walked her downstairs. She was loudly saying "You men are all the same, you boast and you brag but then you can't measure up" in front of all my neighbors, including the kids I used to give tips to about girls. She drove off, and needless to say, work became very uncomfortable. We couldn't look each other in the eye, she tried to be friendly, but I was rude to her. Then she became a bitch back. I was gonna try to hit these two hot little interns we had, but I could tell she got to them first. Looking back, I wondered if she deliberately set out to try to emasculate me, because I had been getting better assignments and more praise than she was. I knew I shouldn't have fooled around with a coworker, everybody said not to. But my dick was in charge.
 

mike_56

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The 2 women co workers I was fucking @ 2 differnt times worked out ok for me. I quit my job so had no problems w\the first breakup. The 2nd situation was that she quit the job when we were still fucking. I broke up with her as she was a psycho. No doubt she would have caused problems for me @ work!
 

eyescream

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we're in a "relationship" as we're both single. maybe there has been another thread about have sex with coworkers. does anybody find this right or wrong in the workplace?

Thanks for opening this thread, I would also like to know what people think about this, as I am in the same situation myself...in a way. Haven't actually started having sex with him though.
 

mike_56

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I think you must think worse case scenario. What if you break up? How will that affect your job? What about having to see\deal w\him after the breakup? Just some thougts...