A few years back I worked with a chick who had a hardon for from the moment I first saw her. She was a tough Latin chick, the kind I like, and we worked in the same department and hit it off immediately. I didn't think it would be a problem if I tried to hit it, because she was there during the day and I was there at night, and we only had an hour when we were in the office together. We started to hang out a lot outside of work.
There was something about her. She was 5'9, taller than I usually like, and she was built a little differently from the petite girls with bouncy tits and grabable asses I always get with. She liked to argue with me, playfully, or so I thought, and she delighted in making a big deal about how she felt she was a better athlete than I. She also had some very unique spiritual ideas. She talked a lot about God, Christ, and how only she knew the truth about the mysteries of the heavens. During that time I was very into Shamanism and Tarot cards and things of that nature, and I usually wore a talisman made for me by an elderly Native woman I had studied with in the southwest. She would tell me that all of that was not of God, and had a similar reaction when she visited my home and saw my collection of Egyptian, Greek, Buddhist, Celtic, Aztec, Mayan, and African cultural artifacts. I would have to hide them whenever she came over, because she claimed evil spirits would inhabit them. Basically, she was trying to convert me into her church of one, and I played along, wanting to get in her pants. She also revealed to me that she was a virgin, initially saying that she had made a covenant to do God's work, and that when the Rapture came that she would be with her one true love, Jesus Christ, for all eternity. She also told me that our destiny was to meet, that she and I would travel around the world together, identify and stop the Anti-Christ, and prevent the Apocalypse.
So the stage was set. I wanted to conquer her via my dick, she wanted to conquer me via religion. One night she came to my apartment to cleanse it of evil spirits, and I asked her if she was interested in trying to fool around. She said that there was a Demon in my building that had taken possession of me that moment and made me try to hook up with her. She came by on Super Bowl Sunday, and we were drinking Corona and smoking weed. She noticed I had a few Magnum XLs by my bed, and said she thought I was full of shit. I offered to show her. I spilled my Corona.
She said "OK, I wanna see it, for scientific purposes, but before we go any further, I'll be honest with you. I don't like penises. I'm into women. I was a man in all my previous lives, going back to Biblical times, and this time I ended up in a woman's body". I was stunned. Here was my big chance. She was gonna give me a handjob, but it was on her terms, not mine. She put on a plastic glove, and tried her best. Her phone kept ringing, and she kept telling me to hurry it up. She then got on top of me and straddled me, but she was still in dress pants and had a big ass, so that ended up hurting more than helping. She let me touch one of her breasts for about 15 seconds, but she was also telling me how she was getting no enjoyment from this at all and was just trying to help me. I couldn't bust a nut, and, for the first time in my life, I couldn't keep it hard.
She was needed at her next party, so I pulled up my pants and walked her downstairs. She was loudly saying "You men are all the same, you boast and you brag but then you can't measure up" in front of all my neighbors, including the kids I used to give tips to about girls. She drove off, and needless to say, work became very uncomfortable. We couldn't look each other in the eye, she tried to be friendly, but I was rude to her. Then she became a bitch back. I was gonna try to hit these two hot little interns we had, but I could tell she got to them first. Looking back, I wondered if she deliberately set out to try to emasculate me, because I had been getting better assignments and more praise than she was. I knew I shouldn't have fooled around with a coworker, everybody said not to. But my dick was in charge.