Having sex with a "taken" guy

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by chrwl007, May 24, 2009.

  1. chrwl007

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    Hi everyone. Recently I met a bi guy a bit older than myself. We had some very good sex, and afterwards he mentioned that he has a girlfriend. I asked him whether she knows about him seeing guys and he said no.

    This makes me feel a bit guilty, since I'm having sex with a guy that's already in a relationship without his partner knowing. I don't want to tell him how I really feel, however, since he's a cool guy and I enjoy spending time in his company (telling him might cause him to write me off). On the other hand, I can provide him with experiences that his girlfriend might not necessarily provide, since it sounds as though she is quite conservative sexually.

    What do I do in this case?
     
  2. starstruck

    starstruck New Member

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    If you are really troubled by this, .....
    you are joking, right ???????????
     
  3. thadjock

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    if he's having sex on the side, his relationship with the chick isn't going to last anyway,

    but your bigger concern should be that he could be a serial cheater, is that somebody you really wanna be hookin up with?

    or it might be that he's just figuring out that his "bi-ness" is more skewed towards dudes than he might have realized,

    in either case u need to decide what you want out of this. and even though u can give him things he doesn't get from his gf, he may never be able to give you what you want from him. be realistic, don't get hurt, and be clear with him, communication is key even if it feels awkward, if he values what he has with you he wont run away scared.

    if you're ok with the time he will give you then just enjoy it, if you want more than he can give, move on, i'ts not worth the stress and frustration of wishing people will change.
     
  4. B_Nick8

    B_Nick8 New Member

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    You ought not to feel guilty for having had sex with him before you knew he was involved with someone; that wasn't your fault. Whether you should feel guilt now if you continue to have sex with him is a matter of your own personal morals and values. Personally, I would. I've always said I didn't want anyone to fuck with my relationships and I wouldn't with theirs.

    However, there is a clear danger for you as far as I'm concerned. What if your feelings go beyond the sexual? This guy is apparently not only unable to truly commit but is also capable of being extremely duplicitous and none of this bodes well if you were to become more seriously involved with him.
     
    #4 B_Nick8, May 24, 2009
    Last edited: May 24, 2009
  5. thadjock

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    i always thought that was just the standard parting remark made by every str8 dude who just had great gay sex, and needs to go to his "safe" place.
     
  6. houtx48

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    now you know, if it has a dick it's trouble.
     
  7. Bbucko

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    Unless you committed some nefarious trickery you've neglected to mention, there is no reason to feel guilty at all. But as someone who has made a life-long career out of attempting serious relationships with men who are completely unavailable, I gotta tell ya: even my alarm bells went off on this one.
     
  8. SEXXXX

    SEXXXX New Member

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    write the emotion off and just enjoy the sex

    PS. He's not "taken", he's just fooling around
     
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