also..I have to say this because it's the elephant in the room. If this guy is so wonderful why the hell are you talking to, obsessing over and fantasizing about FlightRisk?? I really wish you'd take a moment and really do some soul searching and examine this. We will come up with hundreds of reasons to end this and just be single for awhile but I'm pretty sure you'll have an answer for everything thrown at you. You don't need to defend him or decide if he's good or bad. You need to decide if he's the right man for you, and I think you know that at least right now..he's not
I'm no longer talking to FlightRisk. We haven't spoken since last Thursday and haven't texted since Saturday. I've told him that my boyfriend is a good man and I can't hurt him in this way. Having said that, the reason I was even 'able' to get that involved with FlightRisk in the first place is because SP and I have been... disenchanted with each other the past few months. We still got along, we weren't arguing or anything, we just sort of started acting more like roommates. We talked about it last night and attributed it mostly to stress. Our living situation is less than ideal, as is our financial situation. It's impacting everyone involved, not just he and I. I still love him, and he IS truly a good guy. Our relationship was fabulous and perfect in every way up until a few months ago. It hasn't gotten so bad that I want to leave. I was, however, vulnerable enough for a time to allow myself to get carried away with someone that has always given me warm fuzzies and heart flutters.
*snip*
Regarding giving him a time limit or sending him back to Texas, I'm not going to push one or the other. If she feels like she wants to give this relationship another chance, maybe she should. I've felt the regret of ending a relationship that I later felt that I should have tried to repair. It was my first. It's the reason why I gave all the subsequent relationships more chances that maybe I should have. I didn't want to feel that regret again. It has been a heavy burden for me to bear. I will never forget that mistake.
The fact is that none of us know what's going to happen any time we make a decision like this. We don't have the power to predict the future. We're just rolling the dice.
He could change. He could find a drafting job and they could move out and have a better life together. We don't really know. The economy is really tough right now. Maybe he won't and things will get worse and then she'll feel like ending the relationship won't leave her wondering if she made a mistake. She has to use her own instincts as her guide.
Ultimately, this is the first time in our relationship that either of us have been unhappy. Do we end it now because we are going through a rough patch? Personally I think we can work through this, and I would like to try. No regrets. I've never regretted anything in my life and I don't want to start now. I'm not comfortable ending the relationship without knowing that we both did everything we could.
how in the fuck do you post so much shit about someone you love? ya don't even respect this man. ya are willing to throw him under a public opinion bus to distance your self from taking responsibility for what you've done.
to folks responding to this thread.. please remember we only have one side of this story.
while the OP has gone through great pains to detail every misstep and perceived wrong in both men, she's mentioned almost nothing of her responsibility for current affairs. other than being "too nice"
isn't it against the rules to reveal personal details about other members? even with permission? i recall numbers and real names removed by Mods even with the information was posted at the request of someone.
:irked:
I haven't posted any "shit" about the man that I love, I've posted my perception of what's going on in our relationship. I've stated what I can only consider to be facts about his personality and how he was raised, and how that impacted who he is as a person. I've never said he was a bad person or that he wasn't worth dating or anything else along those lines. In fact, in my original post, I said some very great things about him.
I've also never claimed that I was too nice. I'm not sure how you can quote something that I never said.
Now to quote you... "...to distance your self from taking responsibility for what you've done." What have I done? Lol. That comment almost makes you sound like you know something that I don't know.

The best I can offer is that I had an emotional affair on my boyfriend that lasted all of 7 days, which is wrong and I feel terrible about it every day which is why it's now over. If I haven't already implied this, then I'll just say it outright now - the fact that SP isn't providing financially for the household, and the fact that I am the sole bearer of funds, has made me a little resentful. That resent has caused me to not want to be as close or intimate with him. Again, we don't argue, we get along well, things have been "fine" on the surface. I discussed this with him last night as well so he knows my feelings on the subject and he knows why I haven't been as kissy-huggy as I usually am.
Aside from those two things, I'm not sure that I've done anything really "wrong". I didn't ask SP to move here, he did it on his own accord. I encourage him to go back and visit his family and friends often because I don't want him to regret his decision or start to resent ME. I created his resume for him and had it looked at by a couple semi-professional people I know so that I have some confidence that it's a decent resume. I've applied for numerous jobs for him when I come across some that I think might work for him, I've been networking a bit on Facebook with friends to keep their eyes out for positions he might be qualified for, I'm doing about as much as I can for him in that regard. I've done nothing but support him since he's moved in here with me. I rearranged my entire tiny bedroom and even got rid of some of my own belongings to help create space for him so he could be comfortable here. I've tried to get him hooked up with as many friends of mine as I can that I think he'd have shared interests with so he doesn't feel so alone. I'm a good person, and if you ask him he'll tell you I'm a good girlfriend too. Our relationship has been really solid until recently, I think it's normal for relationships to have their problems.
What personal information have I posted? There was a point where I accidentally put SP's name instead of SP, but I couldn't edit the post on my phone, I tried. Considering I used to have an entire album of naked pictures of just him that he gave me permission to post, I don't think he would mind his name in one post. If you are talking about FlightRisk, then again, what personal information have I posted other than the fleeting emotional affair that I had with him? I haven't posted his name, username, number, location, etcetera. If I have crossed a line then I do wish the moderators would let me know, but given my interpretation of the TOS, I think I'm within the boundaries. I'm capable of being wrong, though, it certainly wouldn't be the first time. :smile: