he chooses porn over me...

Discussion in 'Women's Issues' started by 2luv_him, Dec 4, 2007.

  1. 2luv_him

    2luv_him New Member

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    My husband seems to be choosing porn over me alot lately. :confused: What to do?
    We have sex and I even give him anal and BJ's. I'm thinking of getting some porn of my own and letting him find it to see how he reacts.
     
  2. D_Kay_Sarah_Sarah

    D_Kay_Sarah_Sarah Account Disabled

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    I wouldn't think getting your own porn and teaching him a lesson would be the answer. Maybe the anal and bj's have grown old and he's after a little more spice and variety. Maybe try watching his porn with him, bring in toys, a dirty weekend away or even a 3rd partner. Ask him if there is any fantasies or scenerios he'd like to try.

    but the best thing you could do is ask him straight out whats going on
     
  3. the_1homie

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    leaving porn for him to find is def not the way too go it seems as if he has already has other plans than you for his sex life him finding your porn will prob just reassure him and things are the same for you as it is for him and might push him deeper in to porn you best bet is to try direct apporach and talk to him or just surprise him and tie him up and have your way with him lol him willingly of course
     
  4. PussyWellington

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    ...why not suggest that you make your own erotic film together ie: film yourselves making love. If he doesn't want to do that, then you have some problems.
     
  5. scottbud

    scottbud Active Member

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    oh my god guys watch porn just get over it it means nothing. Just think about this.

    Females respond to communication and touch more so sexualy
    men are almost purely visual.

    So every time you talk to him or touch him add up that time and turn it into porn credits cause its the same thing.
     
  6. D_Geffarde Phartsmeller

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    I don't know how long you two have been married but there comes a time in a relationship in which partners become "comfortable" with each other. You get into routines and basically set yourself to autopilot. The key to breaking the rut cycle is to add excitement and newness to the daily dolldrums. It's not a simple matter of having a threesome or donning handcuffs. Often times, trouble in the bedroom is indicative of trouble outside of it. Go on a second honeymoon, plan some romantic evenings, maybe try the reverse and spend time apart to better appreciate your time together.

    The single best thing you can do is talk to him. We can only speculate what the problem is based upon very little information. The only one who can really tell you what's up is your husband.
     
  7. PussyWellington

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    err, this is in the women's section. If you don't have anything supportive to say, my suggestion is don't post! You obviously have no idea about women :rolleyes:
     
  8. D_Geffarde Phartsmeller

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    Joking?
     
  9. Jovial

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    What do you mean he chooses porn over you? Do you mean he watches it and then masturbates instead of having sex? If that's the case then maybe sex is too difficult for some reason, like too tiring and he just wants to masturbate alone sometimes without all the emotional interaction. (Yes, that can be mentally tiring for men.)

    You really didn't explain much, so it's hard to give any specific advice.
     
  10. str82fcuk

    str82fcuk Member

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    is he allowed to have you AND the porn ?
    could you watch it together and comment on it and carress each other and pleasure yourselves as you watch ?
    this could be a good way of getting into a discussion about what you both really like or don't like and about what you would like or expect or want from each other
     
  11. whatireallywant

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    :smile: Thank you!

    Er... news break! Women are visual too! The only people who are NOT visual are blind people! And I would think that nearly everyone responds to touch.
     
  12. Drifterwood

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    As a guy, I am uncomfortable with the way that you say that you "even" give him anal and BJ's. I appreciate what everyone else is saying about being supportive, but this apparent attitude of handing out the cookies would not turn me on. I would want a partner to be equally, if not more horny for me, rather than "even" doing things. I want a partner to express themselves sexually, not to go through a repertoire of what they think I might want. The latter would bore me (eventually).

    I would advise doing what you really want sexually, I think you may be surprised how this reignites his interest.
     
  13. TheRob

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    maybe he just wants to watch some porn?
     
  14. B_DEATHbyCARROT

    B_DEATHbyCARROT New Member

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    Amen. I also am not clear on how he chooses it over you. My gf sometimes uses a vibrator because she wants an orgasm but doesnt want sex at that moment. I do the same with porn sometimes. I don't even see it as a choice really. But maybe you should give the details so I can "get" it.
     
  15. Ed69

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    Yes please ask him what's up.If the two of you can't talk then you are lost.:happysad:
     
  16. bretts

    bretts New Member

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    if he is watching porn while you are at home i think he is wanting to try new things and he dont know how to tell you so he lets you see.
     
  17. flaming infinity

    flaming infinity New Member

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    Well, in my experience, porn tends to work well on women, too. You might want to find some that you enjoy or maybe even some that you both might like to watch together. Of course, if you mean that he likes to watch it by himself, that sounds pretty normal, too. No matter how great of a partner you have, it's still nice to play by yourself sometimes, too.
     
  18. B_Veronica_Divine

    B_Veronica_Divine New Member

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    If he is becoming a pornography addict then you might have a serious problem on your hands. Ask him to refrain from looking at it for 100 days. If he says no, then ask him why not. You might catch him in empty denials of his addiction, which can be useful in making a person see that they aren't being reasonable.

    If he says yes, than see how he does. If he is beginning to form an addiction, the 100 days period can often be useful for re-sensitizing him real-person sex.
     
  19. B_New End

    B_New End New Member

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    100 Days!!?? WTF?

    Thats over 3 months!
     
  20. Love-it

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    He is a lucky man to have you and porn and he probably knows it, he just needs to communicate that to you and then it will be OK. You are giving him what the porn can't a warm, loving woman to make love with. The porn gives him a fantasy, much the same as the fantasies that you entertain and haven't told him about because you don't want to hurt his male ego.
     
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