He doesnt want sex!!

[ShyGirly]

Ok so ive been with my bf for nearly 8 months now, we live together and aside from jealousy we do have a pretty good life. Only problem is he never wants sex now! When we first met and for months after that he couldnt keep his hands off me and it was every night/ morning without fail. Now im lucky if its once a week.

Hes always tired and either goes to bed before me or falls alsleep as soon as his head hits the pillow.

We've had alot of probs in our relationship that we've talked about and managed to get over but sex has always been good. I do really love him but i also have a high sex drive and lately ive been thinking of cheating on him. I know if i did that id feel so guilty and it might ruin the relationship altogether.

I dont know what to do, ive tried talking to him and he says hes always tired, hes working hard(which is true, hes just started a new job). Its just frustrating as hes got so much energy during the day and then when its time for us to spend abit of time together hes too tired.

Any ideas anyone??

 

[B_ScaredLittleBoy]

Well he is 80. Age will do that :tongue:

Talk to him. Arrange some 'playtime'. Or just leave him and come to the one you really want lol.

Good luck though. You deserve sex every day, for hours. :wink:

 

[ZOS23xy]

How old are the two of you?

Sounds as if the new job is taking his vitality (I know that 10 hour days put a strain on me), and sleep is needed.

What about the days off that he may get?

And if you are thinking of cheating on him just for sex, you might consider the way you are living as a whole: is it going to continue to be worthwhile?

why don't you give him a back rub if he comes home tired? It might lead to other things.

 

[ShyGirly]

Im 24, hes 32!

And yesterday (saturday night) he was still in bed for 9.20pm!!!!

 

[Big Irish]

Have him get his testosterone levels checked. I had the same issues, found out it was low levels.

 

[D_N Flay Table]

Ok so ive been with my bf for nearly 8 months now, we live together and aside from jealousy we do have a pretty good life. Only problem is he never wants sex now! When we first met and for months after that he couldnt keep his hands off me and it was every night/ morning without fail. Now im lucky if its once a week.

Hes always tired and either goes to bed before me or falls alsleep as soon as his head hits the pillow.

We've had alot of probs in our relationship that we've talked about and managed to get over but sex has always been good. I do really love him but i also have a high sex drive and lately ive been thinking of cheating on him. I know if i did that id feel so guilty and it might ruin the relationship altogether.

I dont know what to do, ive tried talking to him and he says hes always tired, hes working hard(which is true, hes just started a new job). Its just frustrating as hes got so much energy during the day and then when its time for us to spend abit of time together hes too tired.

Any ideas anyone??

first guess..
he is fucking someone else.
sorry..
just being real with it.

 

[D_Iskepee_Longwoodee]

Im 24, hes 32!

And yesterday (saturday night) he was still in bed for 9.20pm!!!!

This could be a number of things...chronic fatigue or low testosterone, or many others factors. Have you asked him why he feels tired and if it is his job that is consuming all his energy?

 

[TheRob]

I wouldn't jump right to he's having an affair
sheesh
could be any number of things
maybe he's just tired
how much does he work in general
like hours per day or week

 

[GI SUPRISE]

Funny you post this. My boyfriend and i of 14 months broke up on Saturday. (I am devastated).

As of late he had been complaining that I didn't give him enough sex. Like you, he said that we used to have sex all the time and it began to taper a few months ago.

It's true. The sex did taper off and yes I was tired most of the time and didn't want to have sex often (law school does that to people).

Anyhow, my boyfriend told me on Saturday that he wanted an open relationship so that he could get his sexual needs satisfied but he wanted to stay with me because I was the man for him. Anyhow that led to a deeper conversation where he admitted that he has been having sex with other people for the past few months (all mind you just to get off). He said it was meaningless and completely casual.

So, to say the least he's a cheat and I am broken. I can't sleep or eat and feel utterly betrayed.

What ever you do, don't cheat on him. You have to be completely honest with him and tell him what's on your mind.

Ultimately you must decide whether you prefer your relationship or sex.

Personally, I believe a strong relationship always trumps a good romp any day of the week. Not to say that sex doesn't matter.

 

[TheRob]

sorry to hear that man hope your days improve

 

[enormouslyaverage]

If it's 9:20pm on a Saturday night and he's got (what I'm assuming is) a very nice girl literally just waiting for him he's probably depressed. I went through a bit of a depression era and I can say that getting out of bed for, what as far as you're concerned is nothing, is the hardest thing to do.

 

[B_New End]

It's a bad sign if he doesn't want sex this early in a relationship.

Be wary.

My ex wasn't, and she just got dumped hard core a week ago... and he had been planning it for two months with his mother.

I warned her, when she told me they only had sex twice a month, that the relationship was in danger.

 

[B_ScaredLittleBoy]

Just to add, ShyGirly is actually far from shy and is impossibly hot. And she has the best tits...ever. Not just big, but round and brown...with great nipples.

My point is most men would want to fuck her so there must be something up. The ass needs to be tapped hehe.

 

[Principessa]

first guess..
he is fucking someone else.
sorry..
just being real with it.

That was my thought as well.

*SNIP* So, to say the least he's a cheat and I am broken. I can't sleep or eat and feel utterly betrayed. I am so sorry that completely SUCKS! :frown1:

What ever you do, don't cheat on him. You have to be completely honest with him and tell him what's on your mind. I agree, a serious conversation is in order.

Ultimately you must decide whether you prefer your relationship or sex.
She shouldn't have to make that choice for at least another 40 years!
Personally, I believe a strong relationship always trumps a good romp any day of the week. Not to say that sex doesn't matter.

That is so true.

 

[TheRob]

if she's hto can we see her hehe

 

[SensualGoth]

why do some women not post pics? or even just location ...

as far as him not wanting sex sometimes guys get that way. My boyfriend works a lot and travels a lot for his job. ( not a open invite for sex ) I'm loyal ...

 

[eddie80]

ShyGirly, a little perspective. Once a week? This is not a tragedy. If this is the least sex you've ever had in a relationship, you ARE lucky. Regardless of what people have fun saying on boards like this.

It can get a lot worse. If you and your man can find the time in the middle of your crazy, stressed, hectic lives to make love once a week, and it's good honest lovemaking, you're doing okay. Sometimes it'll be more, sometimes less.

Relax.

 

[B_ScaredLittleBoy]

She was saying once a week isn't enough for her cos she's a horny sex crazed nympho :tongue:

Anyway, she probably doesn't have pics because she doesn't want the attention. She's told me she gets a lot of attention from weirdos already. That would only increase the weirdness. As for her location, I know where she lives. And that's all that matters :biggrin1:

I've got pics of her and I've seen and touched her (in her naughty place), she's not another Mrs Valentine hehe. As real as real can be :smile:

*sigh*

Why did I let her get away lol. :redface:

 

[2xdog]

There could just be a problem in your relationship.
Is he a quiet person? Maybe he needs to open up to you about something.

 

[new_n_curious]

Most couples are at it like rabbits when they first get together but as time goes by quantity turns into quality. My fella used to want a quickie every night, but now its just once or twice (if i'm lucky) a week but its more sensual and definatly not a quickie.!!

If your man works hard and is tired then its understandable !! Dont go thinking he's having an affair just cos he's lost his sex drive, also if you accuse him, you may lose him.

Treat him, but some lingerie/toys lotions etc and then spend a weekend of loving him!