What would you do when your husband cannot get an erection anymore?
I have had a nice thick long dick from 20 cm and it is impossible to get him hard.
Is this your consistent partner? I ask because you used “husband” in asking us.
If I were the casual sort, a limp peen would be a big deal, because casual is all about the sex. And I personally like interacting with an interested peen.
And wilting is different than not rising to begin with.
It does make one wonder if they are missing a trick to make him excited.
Personally, as my Love ages, we expect more, “oh, well, let’s do this instead, then” moments.
I have vested emotional interest in keeping him as healthy as possible for as long as possible.
Now, speaking in a committed relationship way, ED is a problem because a) I want us to have a vibrant sex life, and b) ED really hits a guy’s sense of self.
Many medications can affect the penis’ ability to fill adequately with blood.
So can undiagnosed circulatory problems.
Some can dampen his mood/desire. So can mental/ mood disorders. And of course those meds are just as problematic.
Sometimes a bit of novelty, return to an old favorite activity (that gets lost in the shuffle of what we are doing), or similar is enough spice to get it all cranked up.
Sometimes, a visit to a doctor and changing up a medication, getting a dietary plan, and a physical is needed. If it is, do it. When the peen wilts, it can be a sign that something else is wrong, especially in the circulatory system. You could save the penis and the heart!
Back to personally, I’ve had a few partners who occasionally would go soft or couldn’t wake the peen up, going back to my 20s. My exhusband knew this about his system, and knew what to do, so I never had the “is it me?” issue. I learned to work with what was happening, and not worry.
The next one had health issues.
As I’ve said before, my Love is a bit older, and I’m no spring chicken. More an early autumn chook.
So we roll with what happens in the moment, and if he dwells on it, then we talk.
He has the (dis)advantage of a partner with a fair amount of anatomy knowledge and research skills. If I say more than once, “you know, that prescription can affect XYZ,” he has it checked out.
His meat portions have shrunk, and his daily green salad has grown. (I’m not a factor in the salad, he’s done that for decades, I just tend to make one my meal, put a few more interesting ingredients on it and make it more appealing.)
I make sure he knows I think he’s sexy, even if his spirit was willing but the flesh was weak.
Honestly, I love those times. It’s a break from routine (my own spice up), lots of extra skin time, as in more caressing, more hugging, more, “does this feel good?” type exploring. We have learned new erogenous zones on each other. Not bad for older people with experience and four years of exploring each other.
Things I was told when I first asked a similar question:
Mutual masturbation can lead to the problem resolving on its own (perhaps by taking performance pressure off)
Ditto on slow lazy oral.
Sometimes, it’s just not your day. Or his.
Ask, far away from the moment, what he wants or thinks might work. (I asked if it ever happened again, should I focus on it and “help” or see what happens. Your answer will vary)
Don’t bring it up too much. (I only do if something else seems off and I’m recommending a chat with a doctor. If I know the meds are being fiddled with, I’ll say, let him know XYZ is happening, and one will be occasional ED)
Don’t let him always retreat...make sure he finishes what he started in some way...if he started it.
