He makes me feel sexy

Discussion in 'Women's Issues' started by sexialexia, Oct 31, 2004.

  1. sexialexia

    sexialexia New Member

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    I am 41 years old. Until 2 months ago, I had never experienced an orgasm. I was a virgin until I was 20. I dated a few more boys until I met my husband and sometimes agreed to sex with them, but it was never enjoyable. It wasn't painful, just not exciting. One of them said I was cold, and I started thinking that there was something wrong with me. I was married at 24, and divorced only a short time ago. I gave birth to 2 children, who were the only real bright spots in my life. I never felt much sexual attraction to my husband. We usually had sex once a week. I told my boyfriend that sex with my husband was about as thrilling as doing the dishes. There was the usual kissing and caressing for a short time before intercourse. His penis was larger than average, but it slipped in easily. He would thrust away for 5 minutes then roll over and go to sleep. Not once in all those years did he put his mouth near my vagina. He wouldn't allow me to put my mouth near his penis because he said it wasn't proper. We lived comfortably and never had to do without. All of us were in good health. We took holidays together, and never had violent arguments. I rarely felt any of the strong sexual urges that my gfs talked about. I guess that all my discussion groups and my arts and crafts were a substitute. Thinking back now, I was probably suffering from major depression but kept myself so busy that I didn't allow myself time to think about it. I first met my now-bf and his wife at a house party about 15 years ago. They were older than anyone else, but seemed really nice. The bulge in his pants was very obvious. My husband said afterwards that it was disgusting. I remember feeling shock, but definitely not any sexual attraction. Over the years we would see them about every 6 months or so, and stop and talk for a moment. One day I happened to meet him after my separation. He bought me a coffee, and told me that his wife had been dead for over 3 years. We talked for about 2 hours, and agreed to meet again. I felt no sexual attraction to him, but I loved his sense of humour. He had me laughing all the time. So we met regularly for coffee and talked each other's ears off. I had expected that the divorce would be easy seeing that the separation had gone so smoothly. But it was terrible. I came close to a breakdown. My bf spent hours with me every day getting me to talk it out. He held me close and was always trying to get me to smile. We started holding hands when we went for a walk. Then it was arms around each other, then shows and dinners. One night when we were laughing ourselves silly over 2 bottles of wine, he kissed me for the first time, and started with the caresses. I could never remember feeling aroused like that before. But then I would look down at the bulge in his pants or feel it pressing against me, and I would tighten up in fear. I had never focused on penises before, but in the following days, I found myself wondering just how it would make me feel, and how big it actually was. On the first night we undressed, he stood in front of me and let me pull down his briefs. I was still in a terrible emotional state from the divorce, and my nerves were in a very bad way, so when this monster penis flopped out down to his knees, I probably came close to a heart attack. I knew it was going to be huge, but not like this.My pulse was going like a machine gun and I could hardly breathe. I don't think I felt any sexual desire at that moment. It was just a terrible shock . I was scared out of my wits at the way I felt I was losing control. After about an hour of foreplay, I had my very first orgasm. It felt incredible and I couldn't stop crying. We did nothing more that night except cuddle in each other's arms. The next time together, I used my hands and my tongue to bring him to a climax. In the space of a few weeks, I felt that I had made a 180 degree turn. I was happy beyond belief. All those years that I felt I had been sexually dead now seemed like a thing of the past. I think about him all day long and how he makes me feel so warm. When we finally had intercourse, I found out what a couple of my gfs had been raving about. For most of my life, sexual pleasure had been almost non-existent. As I write this, I feel that I've almost gone overboard with sexual thoughts. I guess I'm making up for lost time. If I didn't get so sore and have to take a day or two off, I'm certain that I would want sex several times a day. But of course, my bf, being much older, is only capable of once a day now. And he gets very red and sore too. When one of my gfs asked me what it felt like to have intercourse with something that enormous, I told her, "It's like having a miniature bulldozer in your vagina rearranging your insides". But he's so loving and gentle that I'm even having orgasms while he's inside me. I feel that I'm being stretched almost to the bursting point because it's so thick, but I'm experiencing no sharp pains deep inside. Perhaps this means that I'll gradually be able to take a little more. He never talks about that , but I'm sure it would make him happy. If I was asked to name his 2 best qualities, I would say his sense of humour and his gentleness. It was my bf who suggested the name "sexialexia", and that's how I feel about myself now. He has turned my life around. Alexia
     
  2. naughty

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    Workin' up a good pot of mad!
    Oh Sexialesia!

    Welcome to our group! I am so very happy for you. What a great story. I always knew that we only get better as time goes by but the tenderness and delight with which you are experiencing this rebirth of your sexuality is fabulous. What a great story for LPSG.I am sure that the guys will be glad to hear it as will the other women here in the group.Welcome again and please keep posting!


    Naughty
     
  3. wonderland

    wonderland Member

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    Welcome to the group. That was a wonderful story. I hope that you two are very happy together, he sounds like a great guy.
     
  4. rope9839

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    To what extent do you believe it is the size of his organ that is leading to these feelings and how much of it is the apparent fact that you have encountered a good and compasionate lover for the first time? I am corrent in reading that your first orgams was from foreplay, rather than intercourse?

    Congrats either way. You have certainly waited long enought for this.
     
  5. sexialexia

    sexialexia New Member

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    I appreciate your kind words. The feelings I have are mainly the result of the person he is,-kind, patient, gentle, loving,-I could go on. His penis size was a negative factor until I found out what amazing sensations it could give me. I must be larger than normal because my ex had a bigger than average penis and it always slipped in without any resistance and I rarely felt anything pleasurable. Now, I think about my bf's penis inside me many times during the day. If I had experienced constant pain because of the size then I'm sure it wouldn't arouse me and excite me the way it has done since I had my first intercourse-orgasm. My first 8 or 9 orgasms were all from foreplay. We didn't even attempt intercourse until I felt comfortable looking at his penis and handling it. The manuals all say that the sensory nerves are located mainly in the first few inches of the vagina. That may be true, but I'm having orgasms from the feel of his penis well inside me. Maybe my anatomy is a little different from the average person. The last time we had intercourse, he commented that he seemed to have entered me close to 10 inches. If he is able in time to go any farther I'm sure it wouldn't be any more enjoyable than it is now. What we both miss is the feeling of our bodies locked together the way other couples can. This is the only reason why I'll try to take more as time goes on. Alexia
     
  6. Knight-7x6

    Knight-7x6 New Member

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    Congratulations, you're happy and you've got other women and men envious. All the best.


    Listening to - Hall And Oates - Lilly [Are You Happy?]
     
  7. madame_zora

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    Alexia, thanks for that deliciously warm post about your love! I am very happy for the both of you that you are able to experience your love for each other so openly, and that you are able to enjoy your sex life despite seemingly enormous obstacles (sorry, had to throw in a bit of humor). It is very inspirational to those of us who have all but given up on love....
     
  8. sexialexia

    sexialexia New Member

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    I am moved that you would go to the trouble of finding just the right words.
    It upsets me a bit to think that others might be feeling envy. I would prefer that they felt optimistic about finding the happiness that I have been lucky enough to find. And I do stress the word LUCKY. All the best to you too. Alexia
     
  9. sexialexia

    sexialexia New Member

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    Every time I read one of your posts, I am in awe of your command of the English language. I imagine others have already told you that you have the soul of a poet ( or should that be poetess ?) What an inspirational speaker you would be ! And NEVER give up hope of finding love. Alexia
     
  10. benderten2001

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    Our original poster indeed has done a great service for many of us here.
    It's heartening to know love and satisfaction does come along in life for many of us and-- that it's worth waiting for.

    I think many women will feel better about themselves knowing they may not be all by themselves (after all!) in their various sexual responsiveness. Usually, there are bonafide reasons to account for some of these discouraging sexual experiences and it's commendable when any of us, men or women, demonstrate great inner resolve to start looking into "why" and "what's wrong". (Sometimes, there is not even anything wrong physically causing the problem).
    Thanks sexialexia for all your candor.

    Also, it's terrific how you described your "larger size fella" as gentle, considerate, and "easy-going". This proves not all big guys are jerks who only like it rough! ;) Many of us guys here have been trying to say that. Perhaps coming from a woman, this wrong notion can further be pushed aside.
     
  11. sexialexia

    sexialexia New Member

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    That is a wonderfully written, thought-provoking post. It makes me feel good to think that I might have changed someone's life for the better. My bf is always talking about "the ripple in the pond" theory, how being kind to others turns out to be contagious. I'm sure your partner(s) think of you as a first-class human being before they think of you as a human being with a first-class penis. Alexia
     
  12. Sheva

    Sheva New Member

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    That is a wonderfully written, thought-provoking post. It makes me feel good to think that I might have changed someone's life for the better. My bf is always talking about "the ripple in the pond" theory, how being kind to others turns out to be contagious. I'm sure your partner(s) think of you as a first-class human being before they think of you as a human being with a first-class penis. Alexia
    [post=262444]Quoted post[/post]​
    [/b][/quote]


    It's ok , but ...

    you said that what you like more in your bf is not his penis.

    There were so many differences in your former bf attitude ?

    Couldn't he make laugh you, couldn't he take your hand or tell you lovely things ?

    The truth is that sexual life is very important and you go with this guy mainly for that reason . Probably there a lot of kind and funny men around the world.

    Anyway , this is a very good question : love or sex ?

    I say : love

    ps : I'm italian so I can't write slang , sorry
    bye
     
  13. sexialexia

    sexialexia New Member

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    It's ok , but ...

    you said that what you like more in your bf is not his penis.

    There were so many differences in your former bf attitude ?

    Couldn't he make laugh you, couldn't he take your hand or tell you lovely things ?

    The truth is that sexual life is very important and you go with this guy mainly for that reason . Probably there a lot of kind and funny men around the world.

    Anyway , this is a very good question : love or sex ?

    I say : love

    ps : I'm italian so I can't write slang , sorry
    bye
    [post=262528]Quoted post[/post]​
    [/b][/quote]

    Sheva,--To make things clear,-I didn't have a " former boyfriend "(except for a few boys before I met my husband). It was a terrible marriage, as you can see by reading the first post. And no, he didn't make me laugh, and he didn't tell me all those lovely things. Which is why I am now divorced. I couldn't take being miserable any longer. You are doing very well with your English. I admire you for learning a second language. Alexia
     
  14. Sheva

    Sheva New Member

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    Sheva,--To make things clear,-I didn't have a " former boyfriend "(except for a few boys before I met my husband). It was a terrible marriage, as you can see by reading the first post. And no, he didn't make me laugh, and he didn't tell me all those lovely things. Which is why I am now divorced. I couldn't take being miserable any longer. You are doing very well with your English. I admire you for learning a second language. Alexia
    [post=262623]Quoted post[/post]​
    [/b][/quote]


    Ok , so enjoy it :)

    There was one thing that surprised me in your post : you said that you took 10 inches , just for that reason you should feel very good , cause you're satisfing him , at all ... not many women can take that size :) .

    But how much is he big ? I've never understood how these guys can feel : lucky to be so big or uncomfortable (p.e. when they're walking down the street ) ?

    bye and ... how do you say ? just my 2cents ;)

    a kiss for the women and a kick in the balls for the guys eheh
     
  15. Imported

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    robyn: Alexia....

    I am so sorry your husband was such a jerk - but so happy for you that things have turned around :)

    Even though I am not with my first love any longer, I will never regret that relationship because we had this wonderful connection sexually. We were each other's firsts, and it was fun from the first time on (we were together off and on for 7 years - from 14 to 21) When I hear stories like your (and many women seem to experience similiarly) I feel so grateful that I never felt negatively about sex. My mother taught me from a young age that sex is wonderful and not something that should wait for marriage (how many young girls hear that?!) because she felt sexual compatibility was very important - but not just because of sex, per se, but because it's an insight into how sensitive the person is.

    Yes, my mom taught me that good people like animals and are good lovers. If they hate animals (or animals hate them) and/or they are inconsiderate lovers - RUN!

    Very few things are as fun as discovering sex :) Enjoy yourself *HUGS*
     
  16. sexialexia

    sexialexia New Member

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    Hi Robyn,--From what you said and the way you said it, the first word that popped into my head was "upbeat". With such a positive and sensible and sensitive nature, you must brighten a lot of lives. Hugs to you too, Alexia
     
  17. headbang8

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    You ROCK, sexylex!

    He's changed your life, and I'll bet you changed his!

    When's wedding number 2?
     
  18. sexialexia

    sexialexia New Member

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    WOW Never in my entire life did someone tell me I rocked. I realize that it's a fairly new term, but you certainly made my day. And yes, he has told me more than once that I have changed his life for the better. He is normally cheerful and outgoing, but he wasn't always that way. He has lived with sadness and regrets because of his size. He always tried to be kind to others but he didn't always get the same treatment in return. Little by little I am finding out the details of his life. All he ever wanted was acceptance and understanding, but many treated him like a sideshow freak. He was deeply in love with his late wife who gave him the support and comfort he needed. Once she died, he became fair game for women who were obviously after a sexual thrill. He wanted a relationship, but didn't find one until we became good friends. We haven't even mentioned marriage yet. We're just enjoying our new found happiness. Thanks for your message, Alexia
     
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