He really wants to build a deep friendship before we fuck

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by Rommette, Nov 24, 2009.

  1. Rommette

    Verified Gold Member

    Joined:
    May 24, 2008
    Messages:
    1,101
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    310
    Gender:
    Female
    Verified:
    Photo
    Ok, i've been talking to this white guy. He's older....7 years older but he goes to my school. We know each other descent enough and i've told him I have interest in having sex with him. I also told him i may be interested in a possible relationship. He's sooooo damn sexy. I'm so ready for this. Today I straight out said "so when are you gonna fuck me" and he said "we should continue to build our friendship first. isn't that what you wanted?" I didnt wanna seem like a whore so I mumbled "yeah...i guess" in my disappointed voice. I don't know what to do. I've never been with a guy who wanted to take it slower than I do. I don't know what to do. What should I do?
     
  2. AlteredEgo

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Jan 12, 2006
    Messages:
    14,441
    Albums:
    3
    Likes Received:
    6,510
    Location:
    United States
  3. SpoiledPrincess

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Dec 28, 2006
    Messages:
    8,167
    Likes Received:
    29
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    england
    If you're in a relationship with someone hopefully you'll both want sex equally, sounds like he's not a guy with a high sex drive so maybe he's not the guy for you? Long term it can be a big problem.

    Waiting a few dates with a guy is fine, but it sounds like he wants to wait forever, that'd make me think something was a bit off there. Guys are big hornbags, if he isn't you might find yourself disappointed with the amount of sex he wants.
     
  4. SnitchQitch

    SnitchQitch New Member

    Joined:
    Nov 30, 2008
    Messages:
    143
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    Spain
    he sounds like he's blowing you off politely, but hell, what do i know about men.
     
  5. Principessa

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Nov 22, 2006
    Messages:
    19,494
    Likes Received:
    28
    Gender:
    Female
    I agree, I like getting to know a man first but if he needs to wait 6 months+ and you need sex now dump him. He will never be on your level sexually.

    I think he is confused and doesn't know what he wants. Usually if a guy doesn't want sex they give the "I only like you as a friend." talk. The one where they say how they wouldn't want to ruin such a good friendship with sex.
     
  6. wallyj84

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Jul 23, 2008
    Messages:
    2,744
    Likes Received:
    682
    Oh God. Here we go again.
     
  7. Rommette

    Verified Gold Member

    Joined:
    May 24, 2008
    Messages:
    1,101
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    310
    Gender:
    Female
    Verified:
    Photo
    I'll wait it out for a little while longer and see how it goes
     
  8. B_Nick8

    B_Nick8 New Member

    Joined:
    Jun 29, 2007
    Messages:
    11,912
    Likes Received:
    44
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    New York City, by way of Marblehead, Boston and Ge
    You're remarkably aggressive.
     
  9. D_Tim McGnaw

    D_Tim McGnaw Account Disabled

    Joined:
    Aug 30, 2009
    Messages:
    7,317
    Likes Received:
    8
    To be honest who wants a friendship when what they really want is a good hard fuck ? I'd find the whole "lets build a friendship first" thing tiresome and a turnoff.
     
  10. dolfette

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Nov 13, 2006
    Messages:
    11,901
    Likes Received:
    25
    some people need a real connection before they fall into bed.
    if roles were reversed, if a woman needed more time, then it would seem normal.
    give him time, show him how sweet and fun and special you really are, wait for him to be ready...and then fuck him till his head explodes!

    i find the sex is usually much better when we know each other, when we've got an idea what the other likes, when we can spot the subtlest signs of pleasure or displeasure.
     
    #10 dolfette, Nov 24, 2009
    Last edited: Nov 24, 2009
  11. Stephenmass

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Apr 24, 2008
    Messages:
    1,886
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    73
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Boston
    I think if someone asked me straight out that I knew was interested in a relationship with me and I wasn't so sure "do you want to fuck me?" would generate the same response as what he gave you. He may be halfway, not knowing if he wants a relationship or not and yes there are some men that don't want an "easy fuck" when they know it isn't going anywhere, especially if they know there is a possibility that it might in the future.

    All this "fuck now" mentality sometimes throws me off. If he isn't sure about a relationship, would you still want a NSA fuck?

    Maybe you would, I don't really know, but obviously he doesn't. He may very well be the type that doesn't fuck unless he wants it to turn into a relationship, something he isn't sure about as yet.
     
  12. Wish-4-8

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Dec 29, 2008
    Messages:
    2,808
    Likes Received:
    2
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    LA, California
    What should you do?
    Make a desicion already. For you.
    You are in college. This is the time to "fuck around". Now you have a new type, the sweet guy that wants to wait.
    If that is what YOU want, then make the sacrifice. As already posted, that could have its rewards, but it requires maturity on YOUR part.
    I doubt you are thinking of long term, marriage goal oriented, relationships at this time.
    So, if you just want to get to the fucking ASAP, then find someone else. And stop acting so desparate, its a turn off. Act like a lady, and then be a hoe when the time comes. Surprise him like that.
     
  13. dolfette

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Nov 13, 2006
    Messages:
    11,901
    Likes Received:
    25
    oh, and a personal belief that sex is worth waiting for is NOT proof of a low drive. for all you know you might be driving him crazy. he might be jacking 10 times a day!
     
  14. D_Andreas Sukov

    D_Andreas Sukov Account Disabled

    Joined:
    Oct 6, 2008
    Messages:
    2,933
    Likes Received:
    3
    if a guy were saying these things we'd all be beating on him. I think you should wait. you say he is so damn sexy and that you really want it, but if you dont want to wait then leave. that is, if all this is is a fuck for you
     
  15. houtx48

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Sep 13, 2006
    Messages:
    7,095
    Likes Received:
    35
    Gender:
    Male
    he's a closet queen don't you watch tv?
     
  16. jason_els

    jason_els <img border="0" src="/images/badges/gold_member.gi

    Joined:
    Dec 16, 2004
    Messages:
    10,576
    Likes Received:
    25
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Warwick, NY, USA
    At seven years older, he may well be sizing you up for marriage material.

    He may also be a closet Christian who believes in at least some level of commitment before sex can happen.

    Spend some more no-pressure time together and see if you can spot anything about him that makes you wonder. Maybe he's small? Has ED? Something else physically wrong?

    If he still doesn't make a move then just come right out and ask to discuss it. If he's truly interested in building a friendship first, then he should be open and honest with you.
     
  17. bigheadben

    Verified Gold Member

    Joined:
    Nov 9, 2004
    Messages:
    58
    Albums:
    2
    Likes Received:
    526
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    New Orleans (LA, US)
    Verified:
    Photo
    get a gay friend to scan him please. previous poster was correct. this sounds like it COULD be textbook closet case action?
     
  18. BanShen

    Verified Gold Member

    Joined:
    Nov 24, 2009
    Messages:
    19
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    China
    Verified:
    Photo
    I'll say that you can't tell a man you want to get fucked now AND mention that you might be interested in developing a relationship.

    Pick one. If you're just looking for a good fuck, then let him know it's a no-strings attached kind of deal. If he passes you up again, then you'll know to begin looking elsewhere starting now.

    But if you want a relationship, he may actually want to develop real feelings for you before he'd want that. I personally think sex is far superior when I'm with someone I truly care about- this guy may feel the same way.
     
  19. helgaleena

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Sep 8, 2006
    Messages:
    5,663
    Albums:
    2
    Likes Received:
    3
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    Wisconsin USA
    I certainly hope you are not waiting around for him! Enjoy yourself while you are still young-- responsibly of course. But you are so beautiful it would be very sad to waste yourself on the shelf.
     
  20. Rommette

    Verified Gold Member

    Joined:
    May 24, 2008
    Messages:
    1,101
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    310
    Gender:
    Female
    Verified:
    Photo
    I'm still waiting around everyone. Perhaps he is scanning me for marriage material. Perhaps he does want to build a deep friendship. He's not gay either.....he has a child
     
Draft saved Draft deleted