Hello All,
I'll keep this brief...I am a 30yr old black male, and handsome I might add(chuckle). For the past 6/7 yrs I've been in an intimate relationship with another guy. Alot has happend over that time which has taught both of us many things and helped us to mature. Our relationship is 'on the low' (although many suspect and a few know).
Admittedly, we are opposites...so its amazing that we've navigated this relationship so long without driving each other up a wall, but we have (chuckle). Actually, a friend of mine commented, 'I still don't understand how the two of you ended up together you're so different.' I replied, 'We balance each other out. Whereas I was the one always wanting to go out, he enjoyed being home. So, after a while, we were able to learn how to compromise and respect the others personality without trying to change each other.'
I've always been the one who wanted a 'public' relationship...he, not so much. As I look back, I have mixed feelings about that b/c whereas I was ok with walking through the park holding hands it would have CERTAINLY created problems within our context. So, his need for privacy really helped to curb a great deal of the scrutiny we would have gotten as a result of being more 'public' about things.
Anyhow, in March he tells me that at the end of the year he's going to be moving to Georgia. BTW, I live in NJ and he in NY. Although I didn't express it in that moment, I was floored! As his custom is to not deal with conflicting issues until he's ready, it took some 'light stepping' on my part to bring up the issue of him leaving and what that potentially means for us. At the onset of those conversations he kept saying, 'Nothings gonna change. It's still you and me. I just want to move forward in life and feel I can't do that here.' BTW, he's 31 and lost both his parents (one around around 17, the other around 23) and has no siblings. I too am an only child. As I understand it he feels like this move will be a 'new start' for him.
As I believe that we all have agency I would never stand in his way, but truthfully, I don't understand this. Last year I was in Georgia for about 3 months for work and prior to it, sat with him to discuss it to make sure he knew everything. While there, I fell in love with it and do intend to move there once I complete my masters (I'm walking into my last year this Sept).
This is the longest relationship both of us have been in...but at times he makes references to getting married (to a woman). Admittedly, I wanted that too, but overtime started to accept the fact that it may never happen since although I'm emotionally attracted to women, I'm sexually attracted to men.
I guess, I'm just looking for some advice on this whole thing... I feel like I'm at various crossroads in life and could use some real advice. Thanks!
I'll keep this brief...I am a 30yr old black male, and handsome I might add(chuckle). For the past 6/7 yrs I've been in an intimate relationship with another guy. Alot has happend over that time which has taught both of us many things and helped us to mature. Our relationship is 'on the low' (although many suspect and a few know).
Admittedly, we are opposites...so its amazing that we've navigated this relationship so long without driving each other up a wall, but we have (chuckle). Actually, a friend of mine commented, 'I still don't understand how the two of you ended up together you're so different.' I replied, 'We balance each other out. Whereas I was the one always wanting to go out, he enjoyed being home. So, after a while, we were able to learn how to compromise and respect the others personality without trying to change each other.'
I've always been the one who wanted a 'public' relationship...he, not so much. As I look back, I have mixed feelings about that b/c whereas I was ok with walking through the park holding hands it would have CERTAINLY created problems within our context. So, his need for privacy really helped to curb a great deal of the scrutiny we would have gotten as a result of being more 'public' about things.
Anyhow, in March he tells me that at the end of the year he's going to be moving to Georgia. BTW, I live in NJ and he in NY. Although I didn't express it in that moment, I was floored! As his custom is to not deal with conflicting issues until he's ready, it took some 'light stepping' on my part to bring up the issue of him leaving and what that potentially means for us. At the onset of those conversations he kept saying, 'Nothings gonna change. It's still you and me. I just want to move forward in life and feel I can't do that here.' BTW, he's 31 and lost both his parents (one around around 17, the other around 23) and has no siblings. I too am an only child. As I understand it he feels like this move will be a 'new start' for him.
As I believe that we all have agency I would never stand in his way, but truthfully, I don't understand this. Last year I was in Georgia for about 3 months for work and prior to it, sat with him to discuss it to make sure he knew everything. While there, I fell in love with it and do intend to move there once I complete my masters (I'm walking into my last year this Sept).
This is the longest relationship both of us have been in...but at times he makes references to getting married (to a woman). Admittedly, I wanted that too, but overtime started to accept the fact that it may never happen since although I'm emotionally attracted to women, I'm sexually attracted to men.
I guess, I'm just looking for some advice on this whole thing... I feel like I'm at various crossroads in life and could use some real advice. Thanks!