Height Doesn't Matter To Her, so she says

[AlteredEgo]

If they were freestanding statements it might not have been so bad, but did you read all of the blue text together? You endlessly told him you wouldn't date him or short men to excess. In actuality, saying it once would have been enough to get the point across; beyond that it becomes abusive and insulting. This is what schoolyard bullies do, not adults trying to have an intelligent conversation.

No, I mention it twice in context, and once in summary. I only know that he's short. I know nothing more of his appearance, and neither do you. None, or many of the other descriptors might describe him. I have no idea, nor do I care. Frankly, I'm not sure what your problem is, but your search for hidden meanings which do not exist just paints you in a dim light. As does your continued hypocrisy. But that's your misfortune and none of my own.

I stand by my analysis of the situation and have provided clear evidence by showing you what was in the content of the original texts. I did not edit any of your words; allow people to read it and come to their own conclusions. I have succinctly made my point.

No, I think I'm the best one to do any explaining of my own content. Frankly, you're not very good at it. Thanks for trying though. *still bored* Next!

 

[AlteredEgo]

That too.

I think most preferences originally stem from protection of insecurities.

I think most preferences stem from experiences.

 

[LemacST]

I think most preferences stem from experiences.

That too!

I think it's a little of both, usually :smile:

 

[viking1]

I think most preferences stem from experiences.

Isn't it life's experiences that make us confident, insecure, or just about anything else that has to do with our personality? The human mind is just like a computer, how it's programmed is what makes it different from another.

When we realize later in life that we have "the wrong programming", how can we correct that? We don't have a "delete" button. Oh, how I wish we did, though. That would make life so much easier.

 

[whatireallywant]

Isn't it life's experiences that make us confident, insecure, or just about anything else that has to do with our personality? The human mind is just like a computer, how it's programmed is what makes it different from another.

When we realize later in life that we have "the wrong programming", how can we correct that? We don't have a "delete" button. Oh, how I wish we did, though. That would make life so much easier.

Yeah, really... Tell me about it. I was fired yet AGAIN from ANOTHER job today! This time they said I was doing a good job, but I was fired for being too shy! (I realize this doesn't have anything to do with height and attraction, but related to the last post about "the wrong programming". I'm working on it but I'm shy because of past experiences, and it is very difficult to overcome. At least they put me on another job assignment coming up, one that I know for a fact that I can do, because I've done it before, and the shyness will not be an issue.)

 

[AlteredEgo]

That too!

I think it's a little of both, usually :smile:

Hmm... Maybe so!

Isn't it life's experiences that make us confident, insecure, or just about anything else that has to do with our personality? The human mind is just like a computer, how it's programmed is what makes it different from another.

When we realize later in life that we have "the wrong programming", how can we correct that? We don't have a "delete" button. Oh, how I wish we did, though. That would make life so much easier.

Counseling helps. It really does!

 

[galaxus]

again it's not how i feel about myself, its the way others treat me. if somebody kept telling you and everyone else false things about you, wouldn't you want to clear that up before everyone start believing in the bullshit and lies.

 

[nerd]

Viewing people as worthless simply because they are not attracted to him for whatever reason they are not attracted to him is bogus. None of us finds true strength or self-worth from the denigration of others. No one is required to think short guys are hot. No one is required to think redheads are hot. No one is required to think people whose second toe is longer than their big toe are hot. There are however, plenty of people who will find you sexy as hell. Even if less than one percent of the human population of earth is looking for someone who fits whatever your specific description is, there are MILLIONS of people looking for you!

What makes one physical standard more acceptable than any other? Everyone needs to limit their sexual availability. Everyone. We all do it. No one's preferences makes them worthless. I notice no one here thinks men's choices makes them worthless, or bitches. They're allowed to not like fat women, tall women, brown hair, glasses, crooked teeth or whatever they don't like. But when women reject you, they're worthless. I call bullshit.

We do not make ourselves whole by pissing on other people.

having any absolute physical aesthetic requirement that is not dependent on a person's choice makes somebody worthless to me, regardless of their sex

so i do not despise people who have some preference for a certain detail instead of some other, but if they make it a requirement (i.e. "i would never date a girl with lesser than B cups" or "i would never want a man shorter/taller than this or that" or "i would never date a completely bald woman") then they are useless close minded individuals in my book.

i condone those who state a requirement (edited, i accidentally typed "preference" again here) regarding features that depends on one's lifestyle (like those who don't like people with or without tattoos or who are skinny or fat or bodybuilders, et cetera), cause those characteristics do have a relevance with one's personality

 

[nerd]

again it's not how i feel about myself, it the way others treat me. if somebody kept telling you and everyone else false things about you, wouldn't you want to clear that up before everyone start believing in the bullshit and lies.

negative advertisement is still an useful form of marketing, tho

 

[AlteredEgo]

having any absolute physical aesthetic requirement that is not dependent on a person's choice makes somebody worthless to me, regardless of their sex

so i do not despise people who have some preference for a certain detail instead of some other, but if they make it a requirement (i.e. "i would never date a girl with lesser than B cups" or "i would never want a man shorter/taller than this or that" or "i would never date a completely bald woman") then they are useless close minded individuals in my book.

i condone those who state a preference regarding features that depends on one's lifestyle (like those who don't like people with or without tattoos or who are skinny or fat or bodybuilders, et cetera), cause those characteristics do have a relevance with one's personality

A physical asthetic requirement is a fetish. You probably won't agree with me, but your view seems quite narrow from where I stand.

Personally, sex is a vital part of a relationship to me. I am not willing to enter a relationship where I'm not remotely sexually atttracted to the other person. It's not fair to them, because they could find someone who thinks they are the hottest thing since hell, and it's not fair to me because I shouldn't have to abandon sexual satisfaction from the outset. I do not owe anyone that type of sacrifice before a relationship even starts.

The same thing goes for the ladies here who have cutoffs with regard to genital size. They do not owe anyone that kind of sacrifice, or an explanation for their preference either.

The only thing we owe each other is respect, but you don't think everyone deserves respect, even if they aren't disrespecting someone, only choosing not to partner with them. Perhaps you aren't as nice as you think you are.

 

[AlteredEgo]

again it's not how i feel about myself, its the way others treat me. if somebody kept telling you and everyone else false things about you, wouldn't you want to clear that up before everyone start believing in the bullshit and lies.

I don't have your experiences. However, the experiences I have had lead me to believe that your difficulty with women has little to do with your height, but your conditioning. If you expect rejection, you will get it.

My friends tell me their bad luck with girls changed when they stopped caring whether the women they approached wanted to talk to them or not, stopped caring whether they could get the phone number, and made themselves very, very busy. If one or two people told me this, I probably wouldn't even think about it to mention it now. But so many guys who were struggling with the "nice guy" label stumbled their way into this.

How you perceive your treatment at the hands of others affects the way you feel. It just does. You think it doesn't, but if it didn't, you wouldn't even ever have considered that assaulting someone would improve your situation. Just my two cents.

 

[galaxus]

your right. i do expect rejection, because it happens so many times.

maybe one day i won't care about if i get rejected.

 

[AlteredEgo]

your right. i do expect rejection, because it happens so many times.

maybe one day i won't care about if i get rejected.

If you place too much importance on each individual encounter, you will have problems. The only way to get to the point where the results are not important and you truly have no expectations either way is practice. Keep meeting women you find very attractive. If you see a woman who looks interesting and fun, go meet her. Eventually, it won't matter much to you wether she wants to talk or not. At least that's what my friends told me.

 

[nerd]

A physical asthetic requirement is a fetish. You probably won't agree with me, but your view seems quite narrow from where I stand.

Personally, sex is a vital part of a relationship to me. I am not willing to enter a relationship where I'm not remotely sexually atttracted to the other person. It's not fair to them, because they could find someone who thinks they are the hottest thing since hell, and it's not fair to me because I shouldn't have to abandon sexual satisfaction from the outset. I do not owe anyone that type of sacrifice before a relationship even starts.

The same thing goes for the ladies here who have cutoffs with regard to genital size. They do not owe anyone that kind of sacrifice, or an explanation for their preference either.

The only thing we owe each other is respect, but you don't think everyone deserves respect, even if they aren't disrespecting someone, only choosing not to partner with them. Perhaps you aren't as nice as you think you are.

i do agree that many people need to be sexually attracted in order to have a romantic relationship, in fact i never argued otherwise.

what i am trying to say is that it is more coherent to judge people as a whole after you have seen them (and having given them a chance to adapt to your tastes, for all those features that are under their control) instead of having a requirement that they must meet and have no control over.

i apologize for not having said that with "worthless" and "useless" i actually meant worthless and useless TO ME, not just to everyone. (and, well, they are evidently useless to those they discard as well)

i reason in the terms of "what security would i get from somebody who would stop loving me if i had an accident that caused me to become physically different?"

 

[nerd]

Perhaps you aren't as nice as you think you are.

oh and... i don't think i am nice.
so, uhm, thanks? i guess.

 

[D_Kay_Sarah_Sarah]

Im short, i like short guys.. And the shorter they are the bigger their cocks look :wink:

 

[Misunderstood Lad]

It's like everything else. There are always exceptions. But most women I know prefer their men taller - but will overlook that if there are other compensations. No one factor ever matters in a relationship - except maybe for size queens who need that huge cock.

 

[AlteredEgo]

i do agree that many people need to be sexually attracted in order to have a romantic relationship, in fact i never argued otherwise.

what i am trying to say is that it is more coherent to judge people as a whole after you have seen them (and having given them a chance to adapt to your tastes, for all those features that are under their control) instead of having a requirement that they must meet and have no control over.

Shortness is a sexual turn-off for me. I can see that there are very attractive people who are short. But I can't get aroused for them. I just can't. Believe me, I've tried. It wasn't always the case. I was was deeply in love with a guy exactly my height. We were 5'7" at the time (or maybe 5'8"). That relationship ended, and I have finished growing since then. We're still friends after a period without contact. I dated a few other short guys before and after that, but one day, they just didn't appeal to me anymore. I never said short men were not worthy of my respect. I just said I have no physical desire for them. I have no height requirement for friendship or platonic love. I'd be a very lonely, shallow person if I did.

i apologize for not having said that with "worthless" and "useless" i actually meant worthless and useless TO ME, not just to everyone. (and, well, they are evidently useless to those they discard as well)

I assumed you meant to you. You clearly cannot represent the entire world. It's still shallow. It still denegrates a person. Do you see that YOU see people as worthless, but I do not, and you think you're better than me? That's plain weird. If you're short, but loads of fun, I'd want to be around you and make you laugh, even be your "wingman" when out and about. I just would never have sex with you. Because I'm not actively seeking a sexless relationship, I wouldn't get involved with you romantically if you're short. My brother is a tiny little guy. There is nothing wouldn't sacrifice for him. He is certainly not worthless to me. People who are not sexually attracted to me are not worthless to me, because I don;t want to have sex with everyone in the world.

i reason in the terms of "what security would i get from somebody who would stop loving me if i had an accident that caused me to become physically different?"

Are you insane? I never said I couldn't care about people who were short. I said I would not START a relationship with one. START. Where we end up is anyone's guess, but nothing would make me abandon someone, abuse someone, or cheat on someone during the course of a loving and committed relationship. I've cared for handicapped family before, and I can do it again. Still, I only start with someone who is exactly what I'm looking for in terms of personality, habits, and physicality. I recommend that to everyone. Anything else is settling, and settling is cruel to all involved.

 

[Beast9]

AlteredEgo, do you think most people end up meeting what they call the "man/woman of their dreams"?

Of course not. Just because you find short(er) guys not appealing, that does not mean the probability of you feeling attracted to one in the future is ZERO.

I am a sucker for brunettes. I love brunettes. I obviously love women who are in shape, with a firm round butt and more or less big firm breasts. Also, I tend not to feel attracted to girls who are taller than me. Not that I find them not attractive (that's clearly not the case), but I just don't feel much attracted to them.

My first SERIOUS girlfriend was a blonde with small breasts, underweight, 2,5 inches taller than me. Although she was far from the previous description (not a brunette, not in shape, no big firm breasts, no firm round butt, taller than me...), I felt incredibly attracted to her and I was always looking forward to making love to her (I know it was reciprocate, as we continued having sex until almost 1 year after the end of our relationship).

If someone asks me if I would feel physically attracted to a tall, underweight blonde with small breasts, I would probably say exactly what you are saying about short men.

Sexual attraction is a LOT more than just physical attraction.

Are you suggesting that a short guy (in your standards) who is perfect in every other aspect has absolutely no chance of making you feel attracted to him? If so, that's incredibly shallow... it's like saying I would NEVER feel attracted to a girl who is at least 10 pounds heavier than her perfect weight. I would be a shallow jerk if I really thought like that (I obviously don't).

 

[AlteredEgo]

AlteredEgo, do you think most people end up meeting what they call the "man/woman of their dreams"?

Of course not. Just because you find short(er) guys not appealing, that does not mean the probability of you feeling attracted to one in the future is ZERO.

Most people are willing to settle. I have not yet found this to be necessary. I have been able to attract whatever type I was looking for, without fail since I started dating when I was 15. At the moment I am not single. I am not looking. I have not settled on any less than precisely what I wanted.

As for what the future holds the odds of me having a romance with a man shorter than what I'm used to are exactly zero, unless something happens to me where I cannot have sex at all. End of story. I am not sexually attracted to short men. You guys are not trying to fuck me anyway, so why is that so hard to accept?

I have lived most of my life in NYC, a city full of amazingly attractive people. I have seen many,many extraordinarily beautiful men who are short in stature. While I can see that they are attractive, I am not attracted to them. They do nothing for me sexually. I am exclusively sexually attracted to not just tall men, but very tall men. This was not always the case, but that's how it is now.

Also, I tend not to feel attracted to girls who are taller than me. Not that I find them not attractive (that's clearly not the case), but I just don't feel much attracted to them...

This is not the same set of feelings. I do not "tend not to be attracted" to short men. I experience a complete lack of sexual response. I do not have sex with short men because their shortness is a turn-off to me sexually speaking. The feeling you describe of a tendency not to be attracted to taller women is how I feel about men of roughly average height. I'm not turned off to them, but they're really not my thing. They'd have to be otherwise spectacular to get my attention. Listen: I do not date men that I do not consider to be exquisite, and I hope no one who doesn't think as highly of me would date me either. When I was single I was looking for one who I thought was a "10" all around who also thought I was a "10" all around. My man is not perfect, but he's perfect for me, and I've been honestly able to say that about everyone I've ever had a long-term relationship with. This includes some short men, but I was still attracted to short men at the time.

My first SERIOUS girlfriend was a blonde with small breasts, underweight, 2,5 inches taller than me. Although she was far from the previous description (not a brunette, not in shape, no big firm breasts, no firm round butt, taller than me...), I felt incredibly attracted to her and I was always looking forward to making love to her (I know it was reciprocate, as we continued having sex until almost 1 year after the end of our relationship).

That is because you are not exclusively attracted to the woman you previously described. Also (I could be wrong, however,) I feel it possible that you were attracted to her DESPITE features you generally dislike, as opposed to being specifically attracted to those features. I don't do "despite". While I'm busy doing "despite", my partner is busy missing out on amazing people who would celebrate them BECAUSE as opposed to DESPITE.

If someone asks me if I would feel physically attracted to a tall, underweight blonde with small breasts, I would probably say exactly what you are saying about short men.

I know several short men who would otherwise be good or in some cases excellent matches for me. There are a lot of traits and features I look for in a man. Some of them are flexible. Height, for me, is not.

Sexual attraction is a LOT more than just physical attraction.

It starts with physical attraction, unless you meet on the internet, or through a penpal program, a blind matching service, or phone personals. in other words, absent of technology, physical attraction is the very first type.

Are you suggesting that a short guy (in your standards) who is perfect in every other aspect has absolutely no chance of making you feel attracted to him? If so, that's incredibly shallow... it's like saying I would NEVER feel attracted to a girl who is at least 10 pounds heavier than her perfect weight. I would be a shallow jerk if I really thought like that (I obviously don't).

Do you have a fetish for women at optimum weight? If not, your comparison is invalid. I do not date short men because, I do not go crazy with lust for them. I feel everyone deserves to be with someone who finds them to be perfect. Someone who could make them feel sexy and young even as they age together. I can't do that for a short guy, and he can't excite me the way an unusually tall guy could. Maybe if he was slightly above average there would be other things to change the balance for me, but I do not see this happening with a short guy. Believe me, I've had ample opportunity. I'd much rather be friends.