I just feel like I'm in a situation where there's something I can do, I just don't know what it is and where to figure out how to do it.
A brief summary of myself and my situation would be :
I'm 19 years old, I married the love of my life and my best friend, who also happened to be my first love and my first time on August 11th of 2006, a few months before my 19th birthday.
We had tried sex a few times before we wed and it didn't go so well for one reason or another but we both wanted to keep trying, and didn't think it would be a long-term problem.
After we got married we tried many more times and I still have yet to have a successful session of sex with her, usually ending up in finishing ourselves off next to each other then cleaning up.
It's been months since we last tried and neither of us are happy about it but we don't know what to do. It's always painful for her, and I can never get a good rhythm going no matter the position. I usually end up going in too deep and she panics and stops me.
I use lubricated condoms, it's all I've ever used. I've been given the advice of using KY jelly and getting her to do kegel exercises and other small things here and there like try more oral and work on her with my hands and mouth more to get her more excited and prepared for it so she's a bit more flexible inside, but nothing seems to work and at this point the thought of it is not pleasant to her because of the bad experiences.
I love my wife with all my heart and I'm willing to get a size reduction just to make it work (at my suggestion, not hers), but that's not financially reasonable for me at this time.
Any ideas of where to start fixing this problem beyond the basics, if there is anything else?
