When ever i see a girl that i would like to go up to and talk to her I dont know how to.
Hello Ladies, I need some help.
- Thread starter skinnyboy305
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TheIrishStallion
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Love people who think that women are an entirely different species that require a special method of communication. That's a human too, guys.
Unless you're drunk. If you are, there's a distinct possibility that it's a zebra.
Unless you're drunk. If you are, there's a distinct possibility that it's a zebra.
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Not_Punny
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Obviously is ISN'T a women's issue, as a female has yet to reply. 
All kidding aside, you should practice approaching and talking to women you don't yet know. Start with women you AREN'T attracted to - this will reduce "rejection anxiety."
Women are people -- just TALK to them. Compliment something that they're wearing (be honest, don't compliment something you think is hideous). Talk about the weather. Ask for directions. Ask them for their opinion about something. Whatever.
The whole point is to engage CONVERSATION. Women appreciate being talked to, as opposed to being fed pick-up lines (yuck).
All kidding aside, you should practice approaching and talking to women you don't yet know. Start with women you AREN'T attracted to - this will reduce "rejection anxiety."
Women are people -- just TALK to them. Compliment something that they're wearing (be honest, don't compliment something you think is hideous). Talk about the weather. Ask for directions. Ask them for their opinion about something. Whatever.
The whole point is to engage CONVERSATION. Women appreciate being talked to, as opposed to being fed pick-up lines (yuck).
HiddenLacey
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No worries. Personally, I like
"Hi, how are you? My name is ____ ..." depending on where you are when you meet her there are several things you can say from there. Women are just people. Some will walk away and some will stay and talk to you. The simple approach is a nice way to introduce yourself.
"Hi, how are you? My name is ____ ..." depending on where you are when you meet her there are several things you can say from there. Women are just people. Some will walk away and some will stay and talk to you. The simple approach is a nice way to introduce yourself.
TheIrishStallion
Experimental Member
do you mean in a club or like on the street, etc. ?
in a club, i usually wait for a signal from the lady before i go up to her. not of course that she has to wave to me or something like that.
one look or one little smile can say it all: if she is interested or not.
(IMPORTANT: interested = "you seem like a nice guy" and NOT "yes, i want to have sex, asap")
so if i get this sign and i go up to her, i know its around 99% she won't turn me down right away, no matter what i say. the only rule here is to be nice, not to push anything and ask questions. as the girls said, the goal is to get into a conversation with her. you can probably tell after 3-5 minutes if there is mutual sympathy or not.
on the street its a bit harder because she might be in a rush and there is usually less time to flirt around. but the rule here is the same: be nice, self-confident and ask questions.
"train" yourself a little by randomly going up to some girls starting a conversation. not with the purpose to get a number or anything, just to have a random chat. you will see how easy that goes.
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Skinnyboy. Despite popular belief i would suggest NOT opening with a compliment. If you walk up to a girl/woman you don't know and start with "You are beautiful" them its just another stranger with a pick up line.
Start by asking her a question, like directions to somewhere so she has to reply rather then answering with just a quick "thanks"
Start by asking her a question, like directions to somewhere so she has to reply rather then answering with just a quick "thanks"
This attitude of women being unapproachable upsets me to no end. I hated my high school years because the nice boys didn't want to talk to me and the bad ones were always hitting on me.
So it's no wonder I married the only guy I went steady with in high school right after graduation. I figured he was the only one who would have me.
Guys, talk to girls! Say hi. Ask how our weekend was, or how's the family. I don't know about anybody else, but I don't look at every hello as a pickup line. Maybe I'm naive, but I love to talk to people.
Most of all be yourself. We already know two things about you: you're a guy, which means that at some point you'll want to get laid. OK, so that's where we start. Now, the guys part is nice because I like to talk to guys. The getting laid part may be deferred to a later date or a completely other person, which is how I usually handle things since I'm already hopelessly monogamous.
You're going to have to make the plunge sometime, so you'll have to armor up and expect to be shot down every once in a while. Sooner or later you're going to meet somebody who's waiting to talk to you.
So it's no wonder I married the only guy I went steady with in high school right after graduation. I figured he was the only one who would have me.
Guys, talk to girls! Say hi. Ask how our weekend was, or how's the family. I don't know about anybody else, but I don't look at every hello as a pickup line. Maybe I'm naive, but I love to talk to people.
Most of all be yourself. We already know two things about you: you're a guy, which means that at some point you'll want to get laid. OK, so that's where we start. Now, the guys part is nice because I like to talk to guys. The getting laid part may be deferred to a later date or a completely other person, which is how I usually handle things since I'm already hopelessly monogamous.
You're going to have to make the plunge sometime, so you'll have to armor up and expect to be shot down every once in a while. Sooner or later you're going to meet somebody who's waiting to talk to you.
B_Jordan85
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The location also plays important role. If you are in a small or college town, yes walking up and being friendly will work. But if you are trying to do this in a busy city, good luck to you, chances are the girl will think you are "sketchy."
B_Hickboy
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I have a pickup line that works every time:
"Hi. How are you?"
Never fails. Never have gotten a negative response to it, either. It's non-threatening, non-sexist. Got everything going for it, just like you, tiger. Now, go use it on some pretty girl.
B_Jordan85
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chivalry is dead. the women don't even want to be courted because they find it too intense and scary. what they really want are brick walls with wallets and they want to meet these characters by getting drunk at a party. guys are just being set up for failure in this world where girls don't approach anyone. If you give up approaching girls you will find yourself alone for many years.
B_Jordan85
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LOL yeah! and then what?
"I'm good how are you?" "good...(maybe a smile)"
"I'm so and so (stretch out to handshake) At this point the girl is already looking at you weird.
and lets say that nothing creeps her out and she is all smiles, then what? can I have your number? won't work. chances are if this is a casual situation you will never see her again, so you will feel inclined to jump forward and ask her for her number, but at this point you will already look foolish, desperate.
if she is a class mate or in a party or club, then it could work, but if this is strictly random, off the street, "pick-up" line shit, you have no chance unless she is the one that is playing you and will be the one charging.
AlteredEgo
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NO! NO! You are not listening. Even when it is random--especially when it is random, do. not. think of any of it as "pick-up line shit". THAT is why you have so much trouble with women. It's because listening well is a vital social skill, and you need to develop that skill more.
What people are trying to tell you is be natural. Be easy. Be yourself.
When I talk to people I don't know, it is always about whatever is happening around us. For instance, the other night I was doing the washing. A guy came in, and eyeballed a machine I knew was occupied. I told him it was full, and smiled at him over my shoulder. I went back to my folding. He smiled back and told me that he only needed the one vacant machine anyway. I turned back to him again, smiled, and nodded. When he went for a dryer as well, I made a joke about there being no room at the inn. All the dryers were full. He clearly hated my joke. Just . . . hated it. So I smirked and shrugged. I loaded my clothes back into my hamper, and when I was ready to go, he smiled, and held the door for me, and then made his exit as well. He was very handsome. If I were single, I would have let all that good-natured smiling between us lead into a chat. I would not worry about my bombed joke. I'd tell him his scent was incredible, and ask him about his fabric softener. Or, maybe I'd deliver a dire warning about that tragically, chronically broken washer he'd opted to use, or let him know that one of the dryers has a damaged payment system, and is free to use. I'd find something relevant to talk to hm about. If I was really running on empty, I might find something about him that reminds of something about someone, something, or someplace else, and tell him a funny or sweet story about it. But that's me. I'm a social butterfly, I love talking to random people, and because of practice, I am very good at it.
If you do not genuinely enjoy talking, ever, you cannot meet new people. If you find chat with someone pleasurable, and perceive that they have enjoyed talking to you too, simply ask for a way to chat again in the future. "Hahahaha, you're pretty funny. Can I call you sometime? May I give you my number?"
I think you are seriously over-thinking this. Meet someone. Talk about something relevant. Ask for future contact. Never expect anything. The less you expect, the better your results will be.
^Best advice ever. I know for a fact its hard for guys to communicate, especially with women. It is mainly a difference of steps I think. The guy has a certain way or order of things as does the women and the whole act of conversation is trying to meet those two different orders together. Not sure if that makes any sense. For instance, in therapy with my wife, we went for me but end up talking about us which is awesome I think, but we would sometimes argue and go round and round and at the end the therapist would tell us we were saying the same damned thing! Wouldn't ya know it, me and my wife see eye to eye, we just don't think in the same way. So by different methods we reach the same conclusion. I think this is why men and women have such trouble. Its just a different way of thinking sometimes and its hard for some to reconcile. Have you ever tried side talk? By this I mean talking using your peripherals. It is proven, through some studies I can't find links too but mostly through my own experience, that when talking to a woman in my case it was my wife about uncomfortable subjects a man has a much easier time about it if he isn't being faced directly. Just an interesting tidbit for ya. Like altered said, just have a conversation. Small talk leads to big things. Always has for me.
You guys are awesome i will take this and start to get more pratice talking to women.
