"Hello, you're throooough to technical support, how can I help you?"

tbrguy

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Actual dialogue of a former WordPerfect Customer Support employee (NOW we know why they record these conversations)!

[FONT=Verdana,Arial,Times New I2]"Ridge Hall computer assistance; may I help you?"[/FONT]
[FONT=Verdana,Arial,Times New I2]"Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect."[/FONT]
[FONT=Verdana,Arial,Times New I2]"What sort of trouble?"[/FONT]
[FONT=Verdana,Arial,Times New I2]"Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away."[/FONT]
[FONT=Verdana,Arial,Times New I2]"Went away?"[/FONT]
[FONT=Verdana,Arial,Times New I2]"They disappeared."[/FONT]
[FONT=Verdana,Arial,Times New I2]"Hmm. So what does your screen look like now?"[/FONT]
[FONT=Verdana,Arial,Times New I2]"Nothing."[/FONT]
[FONT=Verdana,Arial,Times New I2]"Nothing?"[/FONT]
[FONT=Verdana,Arial,Times New I2]"It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type."[/FONT]
[FONT=Verdana,Arial,Times New I2]"Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out?"[/FONT]
[FONT=Verdana,Arial,Times New I2]"How do I tell?"[/FONT]
[FONT=Verdana,Arial,Times New I2]"Can you see the C: prompt on the screen?"[/FONT]
[FONT=Verdana,Arial,Times New I2]"What's a sea-prompt?"[/FONT]
[FONT=Verdana,Arial,Times New I2]"Never mind, can you move your cursor around the screen?"[/FONT]
[FONT=Verdana,Arial,Times New I2]"There isn't any cursor: I told you, it won't accept anything I type."[/FONT]
[FONT=Verdana,Arial,Times New I2]"Does your monitor have a power indicator?"[/FONT]
[FONT=Verdana,Arial,Times New I2]"What's a monitor?"[/FONT]
[FONT=Verdana,Arial,Times New I2]"It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV. Does it have a little light that tells you when it's on?"[/FONT]
[FONT=Verdana,Arial,Times New I2]"I don't know."[/FONT]
[FONT=Verdana,Arial,Times New I2]"Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the power cord goes into it. Can you see that?"[/FONT]
[FONT=Verdana,Arial,Times New I2]"Yes, I think so."[/FONT]
[FONT=Verdana,Arial,Times New I2]"Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's plugged into the wall."[/FONT]
[FONT=Verdana,Arial,Times New I2]"Yes, it is."[/FONT]
[FONT=Verdana,Arial,Times New I2]"When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one?"[/FONT]
[FONT=Verdana,Arial,Times New I2]"No."[/FONT]
[FONT=Verdana,Arial,Times New I2]"Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and find the other cable."[/FONT]
[FONT=Verdana,Arial,Times New I2]"Okay, here it is."[/FONT]
[FONT=Verdana,Arial,Times New I2]"Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely into the back of your computer."[/FONT]
[FONT=Verdana,Arial,Times New I2]"I can't reach."[/FONT]
[FONT=Verdana,Arial,Times New I2]"Uh huh. Well, can you see if it is? Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over?"[/FONT]
[FONT=Verdana,Arial,Times New I2]"Oh, it's not because I don't have the right angle, it's because it's dark."[/FONT]
[FONT=Verdana,Arial,Times New I2]"Dark?"[/FONT]
[FONT=Verdana,Arial,Times New I2]"Yes - the office light is off, and the only light I have is coming in from the window."[/FONT]
[FONT=Verdana,Arial,Times New I2]"Well, turn on the office light then."[/FONT]
[FONT=Verdana,Arial,Times New I2]"I can't."[/FONT]
[FONT=Verdana,Arial,Times New I2]"No? Why not?"[/FONT]
[FONT=Verdana,Arial,Times New I2]"Because there's a power failure."[/FONT]
[FONT=Verdana,Arial,Times New I2]"A power . . . A power failure? Ah-ha. Right. (long pause) Okay, I think we've got it licked now. Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff your computer came in?"[/FONT]
[FONT=Verdana,Arial,Times New I2]"Well, yes, I keep them in the closet."[/FONT]
[FONT=Verdana,Arial,Times New I2]"Good. Go get them, unplug your system and pack it up just like it was when you got it. Then take it back to the store you bought it from."[/FONT]
[FONT=Verdana,Arial,Times New I2]"Really? Is it that bad?"[/FONT]
[FONT=Verdana,Arial,Times New I2]"Yes, I'm afraid it is."[/FONT]
[FONT=Verdana,Arial,Times New I2]"Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them?[/FONT]
[FONT=Verdana,Arial,Times New I2]"Tell them you're too stupid to own a computer."[/FONT]
 
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