Help Ferox increase her orgasmic ability

[HiddenLacey]

I agree with the above up to a point, in that; yes, you should know how to have good relaxed sex with yourself. However, I'm sure that if I was making love with a woman and she seemed totally engrossed in her own game of sex and I was just being used as a dildo (to quote hsarg) I'd start wondering why she doesn't just use an effing dildo. It's like expecting a woman to enjoy being used as a 'cum dumpster' (delightful term gleaned from the seemier side of the internet) - a convenient hole to jack off into. Sorry, I know that 'being used' can be a turn-on, but I think the kind of sex you can have when you both want to become ONE in passion is where the best sexual highs lie: When you're fucking the person because of who they are; how much they mean to you; how much you want them to feel it...

Well that's not quite the way I meant it. I meant that she has to get herself there and she can't expect the guy to just get her there with his magic stick. She has to work for it. Yes for some it's effortless, but others have to make it happen. Seems to me that she's possibly one of those people.

Obviously when having sex with another human being you are supposed to take into account how they feel. "Supposed to" being the most important words that some people don't take into consideration.

I'm digressing from the subject. If she knows how to get herself off with a dildo or how to get herself off with a dildo and clitoral stimulation at the same time, she can use this with a partner to get herself there as well.

 

[JMeister]

= sybian + cialis

 

[Daisy]

how old are you? If you're like me (like I was), be between 30-35 and you'll cum like a freakin maniac. I think hormones play a huge role.

 

[D_Maurice Mountlilly]

Please share with me all of your best advice on how I can become super orgasmic.

Unfortunately I have not been blessed with thoughtful lovers and have been guilty of faking my orgasms I know, it's a sad sad crime but it had to be done

That is behind me and I am now ready to step forth into multi-orgasmicness (just invented a cool new word).

At first I will be flying solo, so tips on masturbation techniques would be greatly appreciated... but when I can find a loving partner/victim, I will put all sex tips to use as well.

If the advice is good and I have lots to report on, I may even give up my blogvirgin status and write about it all. Who knows?

So, who's with me? Let the orgasms commence

Sincerely,

Ferox

both sub's,83 and girl have nailed it(no pun intended) like usual when it comes to some sexual stuff honest stuff dealing with women.
my female cousin used to have the same problem..i've told her the same thing the sub women have.... and now she's a MONSTER in bed..LOL!
damn..i wish she'd become a member..she always asks me about this site all the time.

 

[hsarge]

My thoughts for Ferox were that she needs to find her way to orgasm with a man like she found out how to orgasm by herself. She needs to control her own orgasm before she turns that control over to someone else. Achieving an orgasm will make the next one a repeatable or a learned condition. The searching and worrying will give way to relaxation.

 

[D_Tam_Ponds]

I'm a little surprised by some of the advice here. I know the guys don't like to hear this or even believe it, but I'm just not into masturbating. I posted on your blog regarding the vibrators. I think they are big desensitizing culprits. I mean, what man can compete with the clit jackhammer? If I use vibrators to have orgasms, I just lose the ability to have natural, multiple g-spot orgasms - period. I can only use them very sparingly in my sex life. And I am multi-orgasmic from real sex, with primarily g-spot orgasms, complete with "squirting" and I almost never masturbate. I guess I just need a live man to get turned on.

Also, mindframe plays a huge role. I am always worried about my body, etc, etc. UNTIL I'm in bed - then it is all gone from my head and all that exists is the lovemaking. I believe this ties in with the Tantric teachings, although I am not a student per se. It is true that sex should be between your ears, not just between your legs

 

[FeroxFemina]

how old are you? If you're like me (like I was), be between 30-35 and you'll cum like a freakin maniac. I think hormones play a huge role.

I'm 26

She needs to control her own orgasm before she turns that control over to someone else

^ This is what I'm working on now

= sybian + cialis

Isn't that for men? (cialis I mean)

 

[FeroxFemina]

Found this online about cialis Cialis for Women

Have any women here tried it?

P.S. I just wanted to say thank you for all the advice... I am trying to take it all in and am working through it. I really appreciate everyones help and love that I can come here, ask anything and not be ashamed. Thank you LPSG'ers xxxx

 

[RawDog]

Isn't that for men? (cialis I mean)

it decreases the amount of PDE5 the body produces to increase the rigidity of an erection (penis and clit too). It also serves to lower the blood pressure as well. I asked my wife to try some of mine once and she went from multiorgasmic to just having one orgasm.

One orgasm that literally lasted for 45 minutes. It had quite an amazing effect on her. We knew it was going to be a sweet ride beforehand when she said she almost came when I touched her back.

The main problem was that due to the horrible effect it had on her super sensitive stomach (colitis) she has no interest in taking it again.

Your mileage may vary too. I gave the same dose to a friend of ours and she said she noticed absolutely no difference after.

 

[FeroxFemina]

I've searched it online as well as regular viagra and all the drug indications say 'Not to be prescribed for women'

I'm based in the UK, I'm trying to find out if doctors here would prescribe anything.

I'd rather not take something, but I take antidepressants and they have been associated with forms of sexual dysfunction.

I might just make an appointment with a female doctor and explain my thoughts... if you don't ask you don't get!

 

[B_subgirrl]

I agree with Mr Riven & subgirrl completely. They are both giving excellent advice.

Thanks :smile:.

Third, personally, I would start with a clitoral orgasm.

This is good advice. It seems that most women are most sensitive to clitoral stimulation over other forms. I'm not even a fan of clitoral orgasm (compared to other kinds), and I still cum faster with clitoral stimulation than with any other kind.

Last, I would practice kegels. You are going to be able to feel things better inside if you have good muscle tone. I do at least a couple hundred per day.

Brilliant advice!! Doing kegels during sex can bring on a orgasm in and of itself for me.

I've had 7 partners and can't even count 10 times that I had a real orgasm... every other time I faked (thats about 90% of the time)

That's so sad :frown1:.

I agree with Hsarge. I can orgasm over and over alone and very quickly, with a partner it can be impossible. If I don't make it happen it's probably not going to. The more you know about your body and the more comfortable you are with yourself the better off you are.

Although I am the opposite to you in that I'm multi orgasmic with a partner, but only have one with a toy; I agree that you need to be in control of your own orgasm. Part of the reason I orgasm so often with a partner is that I recognise the almost-there feelings and know how to push myself over the edge.

both sub's,83 and girl have nailed it(no pun intended) like usual when it comes to some sexual stuff honest stuff dealing with women.

Many thanks :smile:.

Personally, I hesitate to become overly dependent on toys b/c I find that I then become a little desensitized to real sex. I only use a toy about once every 10 times I masturbate. This could just be me, but I know that at times sex therapists recommend leaving toys alone until you've really learned what you need to know about your own body.

I'm a little surprised by some of the advice here. I know the guys don't like to hear this or even believe it, but I'm just not into masturbating. I posted on your blog regarding the vibrators. I think they are big desensitizing culprits. I mean, what man can compete with the clit jackhammer? If I use vibrators to have orgasms, I just lose the ability to have natural, multiple g-spot orgasms - period. I can only use them very sparingly in my sex life.

This is sooooo untrue for me. Toys definitely do not desensitise me.

And I am multi-orgasmic from real sex, with primarily g-spot orgasms, complete with "squirting" and I almost never masturbate. I guess I just need a live man to get turned on.

This is true for me too. I can come once and once only with toys (although unlike you I masturbate as often as I can fit it in). With humans though, I'm highly multi orgasmic (no matter how bad the sex is). I think interaction is a crucial factor for me.

I'd rather not take something, but I take antidepressants and they have been associated with forms of sexual dysfunction.

This could be part of the problem (not that single orgasms are a problem as such!). But whatever you do, don't quit them in the hopes that you'll be more orgasmic! And remember that depression itself can cause sexual dysfunction.

 

[RawDog]

I've searched it online as well as regular viagra and all the drug indications say 'Not to be prescribed for women'

Probably from fear of lawsuits. It lowers blood pressure at the very worse. I'm probably going to regret saying this, but no one's ever died of taking too much ED meds. Unless you count the guy from the Ukraine who took a massive dose on a dare from two women. They went at it for 36 hours straight and he died of a heart attack.

I'm based in the UK, I'm trying to find out if doctors here would prescribe anything.

If you lived close by I'd share some of mine. I'd start off with a quarter dose first just to see what possible side effects.

I'd rather not take something,

Totally understand. I subscribe to the whole better living through chemistry notion.

but I take antidepressants and they have been associated with forms of sexual dysfunction.

They have massive sexual side effects. I know that one from experience.

I might just make an appointment with a female doctor and explain my thoughts... if you don't ask you don't get!

Bingo! Great attitude

 

[D_Parkinson Nipplelover]

yes masturbation is sex with someone you love!

 

[Tully77]

A few thoughts on what was posted already and the original quest:

(1) several of the things that subgirrl summarized are enough to show how wide the variations are between what works for different people (exact opposites in many cases). At least since you are able to orgasm from masturbating, you should have a good idea of what works for you that you can start from and build on. It should be possible to have blended vaginal-clitoral orgasms from intercourse.

(2) I use masturbation as a way of practicing - physically (the timing, the positions) and even more so mentally (I try to smell, taste, and picture things in my mind the way I want to be or remember them being). I've found it to be a good way to practice the balance of relaxation and concentration that works for me. So I would say try to make the times you masturbate simulate the real thing in a real way. And when you start having sex w/ a partner again, and go back and forth between sex and solo, it should give you more ideas on what to fix, what to emphasize, etc.

(3) You should NEVER surrender control of your orgasm to someone else. If after you've mastered it for yourself, and all that it took for you to get there, how is anyone else just going to know how to do it for you off the cuff? No one is ever going to know your body the way you know it. The really necessary thing is to find a partner(s) whose own ways to orgasm and sexual enjoyment mesh well with yours, and who is able and willing to communicate with you.

(4) The mental aspects are obviously the key thing. IMO, being too casual or too tired or unfocused can be almost as bad as being nervous, worried or tense. (Contrary to popular myths, this applies equally to men as to women.) Like exactly what way you should touch yourself, I have seen and heard too many different methods to say exactly what will work for you. But discovering a way to sexually excited (mentally and physically) and comfortable with your partner and your environment is essential.

How some of this helps, and that you enjoy your efforts.

 

[FeroxFemina]

You should NEVER surrender control of your orgasm to someone else. If after you've mastered it for yourself, and all that it took for you to get there, how is anyone else just going to know how to do it for you off the cuff? No one is ever going to know your body the way you know it. The really necessary thing is to find a partner(s) whose own ways to orgasm and sexual enjoyment mesh well with yours, and who is able and willing to communicate with you.

This is so true... love how you put it

 

[Mike7]

Great discussion. I don't have too much to add but a few points that came to mind.

Echo all those who talked about mental state. Getting into the zone mentally is as important as anything physical if not more. Clear mind of distractions and mentally arousal which of course can mean different things for different women. Teasing can be a long process of escalating excitement.

On control, my wife enjoys for me to be leading most of the time. She's one of the women who doesn't enjoy masturbation and often claims solo play she doesn't feel same as when a partner leads. Goes against what you generally read as best practice but everyone is little different I guess. It might be her way to completely focus on her body excitement levels without distractions and become lost in orgasm-land.

Also keep an open mind on the exact feeling of an orgasm. Sounds strange but most woman learn to come clitoral first so that becomes the gold standard on what an orgasm is. According to my wife different types of orgasms feel different. Modern research into female orgasm has uncovered different nerves and pathways involved depending on type of stimulation zone.

 

[Tully77]

For the A-Spot: I had sex several times with a lady who had multiple orgasms from clitoris, g-spot and a-spot. Our routine was to start with me massaging her labia and clitoris with the head of my dick for a couple minutes; then inserting slowly, pulling in and out a couple times and rotating my dick around the labia and first 2-3" of her vagina. Then I thrusted - going deep in smoothly, moving out slowly, and very slowly the last few inches, then hold still for a few seconds with my head against her g-spot. After a few minutes of repeating this, she had the same kind of vaginal reaction that you described in your squirting blog post - very warm, engorged, and she would tense up then relax and release the liquid. She kept me going through this routine a few times (the second, third, etc. squirts & orgasms came pretty quickly, quicker than the first). Then, we would change to a more rhythmic, all-the-way deep thrusting, first in missionary, then in the hooked-ankles/welcoming hips variation I described in one of my other posts. And sometimes we'd vary it by me grinding while deep in, being deep in and moving our bodies together, or coordinating each of us back-and-forth thrusting (her then me, repeat, etc.). This gave her the a-spot orgasm, which was deeper, w/o the squirting, and pulsated through her body. Needless to say, I had an outstanding, long-lasting, pulsating orgasm too.

God, I love sex.

Long story short, though, I would say build up to it the same way you did with the g-spot. Explore, see what suits you. Good luck!

 

[Mike7]

Another thing you might want to experiment with is when you are close helping things along by tensing lower body muscles to get you the last push over the edge. I've read something about women who mention using muscle tension and makes some sense since a climax is a release that maybe a little tension could be a trigger for some to go the last few feet over the edge. Position of you legs might help here too such as extended out and up.

 

[FeroxFemina]

I have so much to try this weekend... I'm going to be very busy

 

[PerfectlySexy]

I have so much to try this weekend... I'm going to be very busy

Yes, but the very best kind of busy. We should all be so lucky to be busy learning about our bodies and how they can experience pleasure. Enjoy!