Help for the anal rententive carpenter...

[luckyjin13]

So... This guy that I've been talking to for a while is coming to visit me. We're meeting in person for the first time, are totally into each other and will probably end up having horribly filthy sex. All that is great.

My problem, is that I have a very tight ass. I've had problems with guys that are too large before,(tears, sometimes bleeding, me being in pain for days) and this guy has a helluva penis.(it's one of those awesome ones that's bigger in the middle and head than at the base)

So anyone have any advice? I've heard using vitamin E can help, but was just curious if anyone else out there can help. My goal is to make this a week to remember... without causing myself any permanent damage.

Thanks
~
Lucky :wink:

 

[mandoman]

I'd recommend getting you used to the feel, by yourself. Try one well lubed finger, then another, and so on. I large dildo might help. Don't try anything without a lot of lube.
He should loosen you up gently with finger foreplay, to relax both sphincters enough that there is no pain. This should be possible, since what passes out is usually larger than what goes in, and that causes no pain. If you control the penetration, you know how relaxed you are, and what you can handle. If it takes time laying still getting used to it, to get the sphincters to relax, so be it.

I learned this from being guilty of violating each one of these, with my wife.
That's why I don't get anal any more. Insert tear drops here.

Being clean helps you relax, because you know he won't be finding anything which will gross him out. There is a really good thread on this in here, which I saw just recently.
Best of luck, relax, and have a great time.

 

[oregongtaper]

Your last statement says alot. You are too worried about damaging yourself. Relax. Use the helpful tips mando gave you, and relax. A Valium (klonopin, or the like) would go a long way to helping you, if you have the ability. Start sticking a finger in your hole wheneveryou get the chance, just to get a feel for things. And your hole is going to be just fine, so relax. You'll enjoy it.

 

[Meniswallow]

well if u want to remember it, please film it for us to see
as for accomodating such size, use lots of lube, never think too much is bad, use as much lube on urself as well as on his dick. of course have him lay on his back and u mount him, penetration is easier in that position and u can sit on him for a few minutes while making out to allow ur muscles to get used to his size. just go slow at first and have fun. dont think too much about it, its really all mental.

 

[luckyjin13]

Thanks all, I think a good... "all of the above" will help a lot. Thinking Eros or Gun Oil. Appreciate all the help.
~

 

[Viking_UK]

Definitely get some practice in beforehand. Try to stretch yourself out as much as possible in the last few days before he arrives and make sure you get plenty of stretching and prep in before any horny filthy sex happens. Most of all, relax and enjoy. I'd also suggest that you be on top for the first time. Failing that, keep hold of his balls just in case he goes too fast for you.:wink:

 

[mandoman]

Why anal? There is more to great sex than being anally penetrated?
You might want to explore oral, frottage, docking, etc, instead.

 

[Fredro]

Tell your special one of your past troubles and of your concerns. If he's real considerate, he will proceed very slowly and take his time with you. Guys who have had very little experience in taking big cocks have taken them very well with some considerate foreplay that helps to open them up. In your case, I'd recommend at least 30 minutes of finger play. Besides, the foreplay can be half the fun as well! :smile:

BTW - Some guys use poppers for this reason. It helps relax "soft" muscles in a persons body and it alleviates tension brought on by stress and fear of pain.

 

[Stephenmass]

If you have a tight ass as you say, and have had problems in the past with bleeding, etc. what could be a great week will turn quickly into a "week off". Either you top or simply leave out you being a bottom. There's SO MANY OTHER things to do!! Make a list!! HAHA!

 

[joeweekend]

Get yourself some silicon based lube. Do not use water based lubes. They don't lubricate adequately in the first place and they tend to dry out as you hammer away. Silicon is incredibly slick from the start, and does not dry out. That will be an enormous help.

That and you just have to practice getting loose and relaxed. Go buy a small butt plug and try wearing it around for a while.

Finally, teach your guy the first rule of superior butt fucking: line up the parts before you push. When you're relaxed, lubed and he's pushing straight in . . . well, it doesn't get any better than that.

 

[luckyjin13]

Don't get me wrong... we're not restricting this to just me bottoming. I feel like it's more of a challenge to tame the beast. He's a bit inexperienced in anal as well so it will be a learning experience for him. I'll go for the silicone then. The foreplay is a really good idea, I figured there would be a lot seeing as he's an edger and i'm into light bondage. It will be a good idea to focus a lot of it on preparation. Thanks again for all the help.

 

[novice_btm]

Silicone is definitely awesome! One word of warning though... it can stain the sheets (looks sort of like a permanent wet spot :redface: ).