Help he's too long!

[petite]

How about some girth reduction ideas? :tongue:

Well, I can't offer any help regarding reducing girth but I can tell you what helped me. Maybe it will help her.

When we were long distance I discovered that the longer we had gone without sex, the more sore I got when we finally had sex, until there was one time when I had to call "uncle" after only about 15 minutes. That's when I figured out that if I masturbated using penetration toys in the days preceding us having sex that it solved the problem. I think I would always tighten up so much because when I masturbate, I usually just use my hand and rub my clit. Doctors say that when it comes to vaginismus that for dilation to work, the dilation inserts must be used daily. I prefer dildos, rabbits, and g-spot toys to the hard plastic dilation inserts doctors give out. A variety of toys in different sizes really helped me out. I found that I didn't even have to use one as big as him. Just masturbating with penetration toys and having fun all by myself did the job for me, but I had more of a problem with length than girth.

Has she tried anything like that?

 

[Guy-jin]

No. She would not even see another doctor or admit that it was vaginismus. The one doctor she saw placed full blame squarely on me and said I should be less "rough". Moron. These problems of ours were in large part due to long distance as well, I think. Basically every time we got back together, it was like the first time all over again, and the pain led to vaginismus. Fortunately, about a month of using my fingers (not dialaters) seems to have worked to sove the vaginismus, but as I said, positions other than missionary are still too painful for her.

Unfortunately, she does not use toys, though I think that's good advice, thanks. She is rather like you in that she prefers clitoral, breast, and skin contact stimulation over penetration even in masturbation. Any advice on specific penetration toys that aren't overly big? Obviously a standard dildo is an easy way to go, but if there's something else magnificent, I'm open to suggestions.

 

[petite]

For me it's usually just laziness. When I don't have a partner around, a lot of the time I just want to rub one out before bed without having to go and wash something, you know?

It's hard to advise about sex toys because we all have different tastes and different anatomies. I bought a highly rated rabbit vibe only to discover that the distance from my vagina to my clit was too short for it. The rabbit ears jutted out in front and vibrated in the air.

I enjoy g-spot toys and my favorite one is a decade old and it was discontinued years ago. I might not be able to buy another one now if I wanted to. I think I would be too tempted to try one of the new technologies that has come out anyway.

Eden Fantasys is excellent for shopping because you can view the actual product size on your monitor and there are video reviews. You can also search for vibrators by width and girth. I've been eyeing the Wild G. I've also always wanted to try one of the OhMiBod toys that vibe to music. If it didn't cost so much, I'd buy this one. I'm fascinated by it.

After I've identified a toy I want, I use Google Shopping to see if it costs less elsewhere. It usually does. :wink:

 

[Tattooed Goddess]

Since I have always had girth issues as well, I'm getting a lot of information out of this thread. Thanks!

I started putting Vitamin D capsules (the gel kind from the health food aisle) in my vagina to help keep it supple and not tear as easily. I also rub some on the outside. Mr. Rouge is really enjoying helping me rub that stuff on.

 

[EllieP]

Hmmm, ok a few visuals come to mind. One of the bright red ring on that child's toy. That would be real cute, but kind of a mood breaker. The other is a dog cone. That would be downright scary, but somehow appropriate.

 

[curious_angel]

No. She would not even see another doctor or admit that it was vaginismus. The one doctor she saw placed full blame squarely on me and said I should be less "rough". Moron. These problems of ours were in large part due to long distance as well, I think. Basically every time we got back together, it was like the first time all over again, and the pain led to vaginismus. Fortunately, about a month of using my fingers (not dialaters) seems to have worked to sove the vaginismus, but as I said, positions other than missionary are still too painful for her.

Unfortunately, she does not use toys, though I think that's good advice, thanks. She is rather like you in that she prefers clitoral, breast, and skin contact stimulation over penetration even in masturbation. Any advice on specific penetration toys that aren't overly big? Obviously a standard dildo is an easy way to go, but if there's something else magnificent, I'm open to suggestions.

As she likes clitoral stimulation, how about a vibrator with different vibe patterns? I'm loving this Lelo vibe with its varied vibration strengths and patterns, for penetration and external stimulation. I'm particularly keen on penetration so I don't need the encouragement, but your partner may find this a good tapered shape to play with.

 

[aim_2_please]

I believe the donut set you were referring to may have been these:
Seymore Butts' Not Too Deep Donut Set - Sex Toys for Men - Cock Rings - Love-Shop.Biz | Online Sex Toys Store

Not sure what would work better, the donuts or sleeves, but given his size, the sleeves may fit better since they can stretch, although I'm sure they'll have some give when he's thrusting, which may not be a bad thing.

 

[petite]

I found a couples review of those online that looked good, but they were discontinued years ago.

 

[ThickMeatJacker]

Here is a good place to buy cockrings. The brand a previous poster had posted his picture of. They are nice and stretchy. I understand that your hubs doesn't need a cock ring, but if you take one of these on the shaft to act like a bumper it might help control the depth of penetration.

Just an idea any way.
Oxballs

Hope it helps, and I hope you are feeling better soon Ms. MR.

 

[lafever]

We've tried the hand holding the cock a million times, it's not comfortable for either one of us. It also takes TOO much length off and gives me a 3 inch cock to be penetrated with and that isn't enough.

I will look into the ComeClose link that someone gave and/or go out and buy the innards of a fleshlight to trim down tonight at the Sex Toy store.

As for help from HysterSisters- no offense- but I hate that place. I registered there well before the hysterectomy. It should be renamed HarpySisters. Sorry.

Basque, my husband wouldn't know what a cock ring is for his life. It's not been something he's had to worry about or seek out for any reason.

Lafever, this has nothing to do with love. I could please him in a million other ways and I have done that before to know what to do. But I, "I" want to feel him inside of me. I want that closeness. I am the sexual aggressor typically. So this isn't about him showing how much he loves me by being patient. He would let me fuck other guys that are smaller than him and it still doesn't make him jealous as long as I continue to be the wife he has always had.

For those who offered advice, thanks muchly. I will keep you all posted.

I wasn't trying to upset you darling, it's the norm that men are the impatient ones so you're definatly not normal in that you're the aggressor.
It's been my experience that men are bastards, I worked in a go-go bar when I was young and I could write a book on how low down men are.
When you say this has nothing to do with love I wonder what it does have to do with.
If you are the one who's impatient then maybe it does come down to how much he really loves you because of what he's willing to allow and/or overlook in your endeavors to satisfy yourself.
I know from personal experience that it's ok to be a little jealous, it's actually a healthy way to show your significant other that yes, I do love you.
Without a small spark of jealousy from ones partner it kinda pushes one to the extreme in finding out what does make them jelous, which can lead to bad tendancies of acting out in front of others.
Sometimes the least amount of action speaks the loudest in a relationship, it takes a spark to ignite the pilot light and as long as there's a small light burning you can always turn up the fire but without a pilot light you're still looking for that spark.
C.

 

[petite]

I think she meant that she's impatient to have sex with her husband because she wants to have sex with her husband, not because she's afraid that he'll stop loving her.

You totally lost me with the jealousy stuff.

 

[Tattooed Goddess]

I wasn't trying to upset you darling, it's the norm that men are the impatient ones so you're definatly not normal in that you're the aggressor.
It's been my experience that men are bastards, I worked in a go-go bar when I was young and I could write a book on how low down men are.
When you say this has nothing to do with love I wonder what it does have to do with.
If you are the one who's impatient then maybe it does come down to how much he really loves you because of what he's willing to allow and/or overlook in your endeavors to satisfy yourself.
I know from personal experience that it's ok to be a little jealous, it's actually a healthy way to show your significant other that yes, I do love you.
Without a small spark of jealousy from ones partner it kinda pushes one to the extreme in finding out what does make them jelous, which can lead to bad tendancies of acting out in front of others.
Sometimes the least amount of action speaks the loudest in a relationship, it takes a spark to ignite the pilot light and as long as there's a small light burning you can always turn up the fire but without a pilot light you're still looking for that spark.
C.

I'm not sure where you've been in this entire thread, but about 7 weeks ago I had a total abdominal hysterectomy and both ovaries, both fallopian tubes, uterus and cervix and an inch or so of my vagina was surgically removed. Kinda making it a little harder to take the length of his penis in my vagoo as I'm sure you can understand dear.

 

[lafever]

I think she meant that she's impatient to have sex with her husband because she wants to have sex with her husband, not because she's afraid that he'll stop loving her.

You totally lost me with the jealousy stuff.

You missed the bus, she's the aggressor.
He'd let her fuck other guys and he's still not jealous as long as she's her wifey self.

 

[Tattooed Goddess]

You missed the bus, she's the aggressor.
He'd let her fuck other guys and he's still not jealous as long as she's her wifey self.

Wrap this around your mind....

I have a little higher of a sex drive than he does on average. But I'm not physically aggressive. I'm a woman who doesn't fear her sensuality and what she can bring to the table. What are you picturing? Something like a dominatrix? lol

 

[Tattooed Goddess]

You missed the bus, she's the aggressor.
He'd let her fuck other guys and he's still not jealous as long as she's her wifey self.

Sorry to report that you are the one who missed the bus. Petite and I talk off site regularly and about our physical issues with sex and emotional satisfaction. We both came to LPSG not having nearly the issues that we have now. So somewhere back in time she and I remember about where it started and WHY.

Your simplistic Freudisms are not even applicable in this situation. It has nothing to do with the mind and has everything to do with the vagina changing.

Ello McFly!

You thinks my vagina being shorter (even though the length was reduced in the hysterectomy, has to do with me being some secret dominatrix over my husband causing my pussy to dry up because it isn't the natural order of things.

Boy stop bleeding your fears on every thread you visit!

 

[lafever]

Sorry to report that you are the one who missed the bus. Petite and I talk off site regularly and about our physical issues with sex and emotional satisfaction. We both came to LPSG not having nearly the issues that we have now. So somewhere back in time she and I remember about where it started and WHY.

Your simplistic Freudisms are not even applicable in this situation. It has nothing to do with the mind and has everything to do with the vagina changing.

Ello McFly!

You thinks my vagina being shorter (even though the length was reduced in the hysterectomy, has to do with me being some secret dominatrix over my husband causing my pussy to dry up because it isn't the natural order of things.

Boy stop bleeding your fears on every thread you visit!

OMG! Where did that come from?

 

[petite]

I think you lost her, too. I didn't get what you meant either.

When she said it has nothing to do with love, she meant that they're totally in love and completely committed. You keep assuming that the reason why she wants to have sex with her husband is to please him in some way and that's not what is happening. She's just horny for her hubby, not some other guy, but there's a physical limitation that she has to deal with because he's hung. I understand because I'm also in the tiny vag sisterhood. I used to have a normal size vag and now mine is even smaller, which doesn't help matters because my guy still has a big penis. :sad:

 

[lafever]

I think you lost her, too. I didn't get what you meant either.

When she said it has nothing to do with love, she meant that they're totally in love and completely committed. You keep assuming that the reason why she wants to have sex with her husband is to please him in some way and that's not what is happening. She's just horny for her hubby, not some other guy, but there's a physical limitation that she has to deal with because he's hung. I understand because I'm also in the tiny vag sisterhood. I used to have a normal size vag and now mine is even smaller, which doesn't help matters because my guy still has a big penis. :sad:

You didn't get it because you're not there, let's start with the title of the thread, Help he's too long!
People tend to add things that have nothing to do with the topic, but in this case she started a thread about a simple problem related to something so life changing as such that people often don't survive it.
I understand that having a hysterectomy( abdominal hysterectomy and both ovaries, both fallopian tubes, uterus and cervix and an inch or so of my vagina was surgically removed )is a life changing experience but when you take the seriousness of what happened to starting a thread about how his dick is too long kinda lacks any compasion for the procedure or those woman who'll die after said procedure.
I just can't get over that this thread is just about his dick being too long and everyone's so eager to chatt about that and not how lucky MR is to be alive.
I can't help but wonder if there's something deeper going on here, then again maybe I should just ignore what could be a cry for help and post a link for cock rings.
C.

 

[petite]

We're all incredibly happy that she's survived the procedure and that she's healthy now, but we said so back in mid-December when she came out of surgery! That was in this thread. It's now February and she's been healing for a long time and she wants to have sex with her husband again.

There's no underlying message at all. She was just seeking advice from other people who could help her make it easier.

 

[helgaleena]

MR, I am about to start editing a book where the woman is getting this done, for the very reason addressed by your avatar. And if it wasn't a Young adult title it would be more informative, I'm sure, and I'd refer the author to this very thread.

Rock on. :240: