help - Husband's 'phantom pain'?

Discussion in 'The Healthy Penis' started by lightninggirl, Jul 6, 2007.

  1. lightninggirl

    lightninggirl New Member

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    hey, everyone:
    a bit over a week ago, i came home and fellated The Husband. he told me to grab a condom (our only form of BC), and it took me a while as they'd been buried in the toy drawer. by the time i got back in bed to put it on him, and the wind had gone out of his sails.

    i fellated him again and got him hard enough to get the condom on, but it was like putting toothpaste back into the tube. he couldn't achieve another erection again, so we both went to sleep. the next morning, he said that he had some discomfort on the side of his shaft about 3/4" past the head (toward the base). i could see nothing, and told him i was sorry if i'd irritated him with the fellatio (i've never hurt anyone before doing that) or with the condom application.

    the 'discomfort' continued for a few days, and then moved to the inside. he said that the discomfort was at one spot in his urethra. then it moved back to the outside. he went to the doctor, and was told that since there was no acute pain or discharge or urinary issues, it was most likely NOT an STI. he had flu-like symptoms three weeks before and was giving an uber-dose of antibiotics in case it was bacterial.

    last night he told me that the discomfort was running longways down his penis from the bottom of the head to the shaft, and was 'outside' again. he won't let me touch it and says that it's constantly a dull ache.

    personally, i think it's all in his head as for the past three weeks he's been freaking out thinking he's had lyme disease, a stroke, kidney problems, a mild heart attack, a pinched nerve, and spider bites. he's NEVER been an attention whore, and has gone to the doctor only a handful of times in our 11-yr. marriage. his doctor won't prescribe anything until he gets bloodwork done and rules out STIs or a UTI or something viral, etc.

    i was just wondering if anyone had experienced a moving discomfort/pain in the penis? thanks so much for reading - i'm going batshit crazy here, and not getting any bedroom action! help!!!
     
  2. bstexas

    bstexas Member

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    personally haven't ahhd anything like that. hope it IS just in his head and is resolved quickly. hopefully someone can relate here about this.
     
  3. D_Andy_Whorewall

    D_Andy_Whorewall Account Disabled

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    Every sensation we men feel in our penis stems from our brain !!!

    If I'm right, the penis is made up of long fiberous ligaments...possibly some were "stressed" during the fellaiating process (God Bless You Heart).

    One question: Why a condom ? Especially when married...just curious.
     
  4. lightninggirl

    lightninggirl New Member

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    thanks, guys. i appreciate the feedback, and am very sympathetic to his discomfort. i'm just not understanding the 'moving' part.

    avg-dick, we've been together for 11 years and i cannot use the Pill because it makes me extremely sick. ever since we got together, we've used condoms except for when i was pregnant. i have never been able to stick with a Pill long enough to get past that 'safe,' no-condoms-needed window. i'm not interested in a diaphragm or the shot, and was told that a patch would cause the same symptoms of the Pill. so we usually bareback until he's really close, and then we use a condom.
     
  5. D_Andy_Whorewall

    D_Andy_Whorewall Account Disabled

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    Just curious...

    Makes sense now....

    Gotta go with the flow....
     
  6. D_Pubert Stabbingpain

    D_Pubert Stabbingpain Account Disabled

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    Hi,
    I just read your post about "roving" pain. I am not a MD but I had testicular surgery several years ago and educated myself about the internal male anatomy when the recovery time lengthened up to 7 months! I had pain up the left side of my abdomen up to navel level due to an injury in one of the nerves in the left spermatic cord. NO, this is not what you are describing. However, my point is that you should probably not easily dismiss his pain. Especially considering his lack of issues in the past. There may very well be some nerve damage or other cause that needs the attention of a qualified male-oriented urologist. Probably one that does vasectomies and vasectomy reversals and even penis augmentation and would be familiar with current research concerning his specific physical complaint. IMO, a GP or a Urologist that does not specialize in male issues is not qualified to correctly diagnose and treat what you are describing. Good luck convincing him to do his research and then take the dreaded (especially for us guys!) final step of making an appointment.
     
  7. ericbear

    Gold Member

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    He should have his prostate checked carefully, by a urologist, not a GP. I've had various episodes of acute inflamation of the prostate, on and off, for about 2 years. When something is wrong with the prostate, the symptoms often manifest as discomfort elsewhere in the genital area, such as in the penis or scrotum. Discomfort that feels like it is in the urethra near the tip of the penis is often actually the prostate. Similarly, when the prostate is inflamed, the entire penis may respond with painful sensation to touch that normally should be pleasant. This includes the sides of the shaft, as well as the head of the penis.
     
  8. Love-it

    Gold Member

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    Stress. Have your husband look up Dr. Sarno and read one of his books on pain.

    For you: have you considered an IUD for birth control?
     
  9. SpoiledPrincess

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    Try a Mirena coil they're brilliant and they have the welcome side effect of stopping your periods in 7 out of 10 women.
    You say your husband has never been an attention whore but suddenly within the last few weeks he seems to be developing a little hypochondria, there must be some reason for this, some underlying issue that's making him imagine he has all sorts of diseases. Have you talked to him and said 'look this isn't like you, for three weeks you've been convinced something's wrong, what is wrong?' I hate to suggest this but I have to because it could be a possiblility, has he been unfaithful and the guilt is making him produce symptoms that are stopping him having sex? Has his situation at work changed and this is worrying him? There are lots of possibilities but for him to change from a normal healthy guy to one constantly worried about his health something must have happened to spark this off.
     
  10. kundalinikat

    kundalinikat Member

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    Definitely go to a urologist! Get a prostate exam, etc. It couldn't hurt.

    Also (getting into kooky alternative medicine territory here) does he have any issues with his spine, esp. his upper back/neck? Any injuries to the hand, forearm, or neck?
     
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