Help, I have the problem everybody wants

Discussion in 'Sex With a Large Penis' started by _Jonesy, Jan 20, 2010.

  1. _Jonesy

    _Jonesy Member

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    Hello,

    Long story cut short, I have only recently started having sex with my girlfriend (or soon to be) and things seem to be going smoothly. However, I have come across an issue I never even imagined could be considered a problem. Simply put, I seem to last too long in bed, or can't actually ejaculate without doing it myself. She put it best:

    "You have the problem everybody else wants"

    I always imagined my first time lasting 10 mins at best, not an hour and half until she climaxed 3 times and I had to finish myself off lol. Now personally, I do not consider this a huge issue and won't until I want a child, but there are ways get around this "problem" of mine.

    Where it becomes a problem is here. Any decent person during sex wants to make it as good for the other as possible, and if you feel like they weren't satisfied you feel like you under perform, which hits confidence. While I have persuaded this girl that it is not her, it is very much my own issue, I cannot help but feel like she still feels inadequate almost. This is very frustrating for me and puts me off the idea of having sex quite a bit, even though I do enjoy it and by no means do I mind finishing myself whenever were done.

    I have done a bit of "research" into this whole delayed ejaculation stuff, and i know it isn't because I am gay. What seems to happen is when the foreskin drags back the head becomes numb as it is so sensitive. Sex feels amazing at first but I lose the good feeling as I go on, which is why I believe it goes "numb". I'm not sure what I should do next, it isn't really an issue in the relationship at the moment, but any way to overcome this without counselling would be nice.

    Thanks in advance,
    Danny
     
  2. SpeedoMike

    Gold Member

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    yul probably hear a lot of recommendations, but I suggest maybe it's time to see your doctor for a physical. why "suffer"?
     
  3. Joo

    Joo New Member

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    If you are fit and well in every other respect a trip to the Doctors wouldn't hurt just to rule out any physical cause.

    It could well be a subconscious problem. Are you relaxed when you have sex? Is it in private or is there a risk of getting caught? I take it that birth control isn't an issue between the two of you. If not and you don't want to involve a Doctor, I would suggest making sure you are as relaxed as possible. I know what you mean about a de-sensitized head. I have one too. I still enjoy sex and can ejaculate with ease by focusing on my partner and not worrying about having to preform at the end.

    I hope that made sense my fellow Brit. :)
     
  4. closetfreak

    Verified Gold Member

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    thats what usually does it for me. I have ADD like a mother fucker and If im not paying attention ill just zone out
     
  5. B_625girth

    B_625girth New Member

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    are you using condoms? I know their use gave me "stubborn" cock. my gf, now wf, would teasingly tongue my cock head, and she also is very adept at taking her pussy and "kneading" my cock. she is the only woman I fucked who could do this.
     
  6. spitreaper

    spitreaper New Member

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    Ur not relaxing and fucking your too focused on something else during sex. It happened to me before I was always worried and never focused on sex itself. Focus on the wetness of her pussy or something. Once you finally do cum its the best feeling ever. But for me after I did cum I couldn't last more then 10 minutes.
     
  7. AbeFroman

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    Condoms def tend to extend my sessions. Especially if I going from a partner with whom I don't wear a condom with to one with whom I wear one. They desensitize too much for me.

    Try edging a little before sex. Often when I edge, it takes no time to get off. Not to mention the orgasm is more intense.
     
  8. Darkriff

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    I personally have had this problem from time to time with my ex-wife. What made it easier for me was something sexually stimulating before penetration. Either she was give me head a for a bit, or I would eat her for a bit. Either way, I'd get horny enough that it wasn't an issue after that.
     
  9. MarkLondon

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    When I shag my bf I don't cum just because of the sensations on my cock, but also because of the closeness, intimacy and making a connection with his entire body. It's different from jerking off or getting good head.
     
  10. dc46064

    dc46064 New Member

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    Hey Danny, Danny here to... I have had this problem for about "3" years now. I only cum about 3 times a year. Dosent matter what I do. I have always thought it would be a problem with my partner, and sometimes it is. The other side is you can go forever. And that can be a good thing. Your girlfriend , I bet, has not had "3" orgasms at once before in her life. Good luck. I will keep looking at this site. I would like to be different. I could use some help to, Doctors have been no help... Good luck, Danny here
     
  11. D_Jurgen Klitgaard

    D_Jurgen Klitgaard Account Disabled

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    I had that "problem" too my first time when I lasted 4 hours. Granted, medication was involved in that, but even though I'm off of them now, I can still last an hour if I want. I think my reasoning for this is either getting too distracted, or focusing too hard on lasting and not just enjoying the moment with the person I love.
     
  12. drdna

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    I have had this problem on and off. I always have it with new women. The first few times it always takes forever and I usually just don't orgasm. Things settle down to a more normal routine after a while.

    I suggest you give it some time.
     
  13. millander

    millander New Member

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    I got the same problem - never solved , but one time ( in 2 years of fucking ) i was nearly there to come, and i stopped it to continue with her.
     
  14. Gillette

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    How you masturbate could have an effect as well. If you use a death grip to jerk yourself off you can desensitize yourself to the more subtle sensations of intercourse.
     
  15. Viking_UK

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    Your story sounds exactly like my first time. There are a few factors involved. A lot of it is in your mind. I'm presuming this was your first time. If so, things will probably settle down as you get used to sex with something other than your hand. It feels completely different from what you're used to for one thing. Focus on the sensations you're feeling rather than worrying about how it feels for her. Think about what you're doing and how good it feels. Don't worry about your technique. I remember I used to worry so much about whether I was doing it right that it distracted me from how it felt for me.

    Maybe you're one of the guys (and girls) who needs a little extra stimulation now and then. That can be anything from talking dirty to role playing or any number of little things. Talk about what you want to do to each other beforehand. A bit of flirting and teasing works wonders.

    Another thing you could try is to stop wanking for a little while. Make love to your girlfriend, but don't touch your cock with your hands. It could just be the difference in sensation between your hand and her pussy and everything will sort itself out with practice as you get used to doing things differently.
     
  16. Wish-4-8

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    There are tons of threads on this issue here, so dont feel alone.

    Here is a test: Can you cum on your own relatively quickly?

    If you can, then the problem is more in your head. It is not physical. This condition is known as retarded ejaculation. And there can be tons of reasons why you just cant, "let go" when you are with someone else.

    All I can say is that the more you focus on it, the less you will be able to cum. I hope she becomes your girlfriend. Because within those walls, you may find the comfort level to "let go". It may take time.

    I'll share. I had this issue. I even when to a "head shrinker", which was no help at all. 3 months into the relationship I was finally able to. In fact, one time I came in just 5 pumps. I could not believe that! (We were being naughty and I need to cum quick. It was just that one time)

    So Good Luck, and relax.
     
  17. Service4hung

    Service4hung New Member

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    I had this problem when I first started having sex. From your description, its the same problem, maybe with a different cause. If you fuck for long enough, your dick *will* go numb. Once that happens, you're not gonna cum by doing the same thing over and over. You need to pay attention to how long it takes you before you feel numbness. Then make sure you switch things up before that happens - change positions, speed, depth, eat her out or have her blow you . . . whatever.

    After you get used to that, you'll find sometimes you can get off before you would go numb, and there's no problem.
     
  18. RawDog

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    Exactly what she said. I almost always have that problem the second time I have sex within 24 hours. It took a while for my wife to finally accept that two ejaculations a day is near impossible. When I do accomplish that, it's from a lot of slow deep, really deep, intense cds fucking. The key is slow down and enjoy the burn.
     
  19. ripvanwinkle

    ripvanwinkle New Member

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    quit helping yourself when alone to sensitize it for her!:biggrin1:
     
  20. reallyhot

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    Consider this...
    What if your foreskin is tight at the end ;and cuts off your
    circulation when recessed?

    Conversely...your dick might "swell up"...more than your foreskin can
    accomodate naturally?

    Some folks have more/less elastic skin in various places?
    How about trying some foreskin stretching ex's?

    Or simply plaster on the lubricant...frequently, or
    trade up to a more lubricated er um model? LOL
    Best of luck!
     
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