I think this whole situation can be confusing. If the person you're infatuated with is 16 years old, then you can't be coming on to them because it's illegal. The other thing is that some 16 year old girls or guys can be more mature for their ages and that causes some more confusion. Like many people though I would ask what do you want from this boy? Do you want his body or his friendship? In either case the whole thing might be a mistake for you and for him. Even though teenagers may be beautiful physically, your attraction to him may cause him harm in the future. I personally know girls and guys who are in their early 20s who appear to be much younger. Like I said besides the legal issue, you have to figure out what your motivation around this is if you want to do the right thing for yourself and this other person.
Help! I'm 22 he's 16.
- Thread starter 7"24
- Start date
I'm making no suggestions about this particular situation and am speaking about no one but myself, but these situations are not always completely black and white. Personally, when I was 16 I would have loved it if someone who was 21 or 22 had taken an emotional and sexual interest in me. I had no "daddy" fixation, but I couldn't have been less interested in kids my age. They bored me. Assuming 16 is a legal age of consent and the older person isn't emotionally unbalanced, I don't necessarily see a problem.
Age of consent in Pennsylvania is 16 as long as the person is no more than 4 years older. If he's more than 4 years older you can get charged with corruption of a minor. I highly doubt whatever you get out of hooking up with him would be worth the jail time.
hud01
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How about buying a clue. Father/son and Priest/altar boy doesn't equate, especially since most of the altar boys were around 12 or 13.
tomthelad91
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Why shouldn't you get with this guy? The Legal age for consensual sex is 16, you're not breaking any laws.
The immaturity of people on this site is seriously worrying.
The immaturity of people on this site is seriously worrying.
don't assume my objection has a damn thing to do with my maturity or some puritanical need to deny youthful sexuality.
the immaturity of the OP is worrying :irked: he said himself he has a recurring attraction to younger men. my issue is not with the age difference or legalities around age of consent, i am focused completely on the motivations of the OP.
7"24;2716087 said:
the OPs interest is not with this 16 year old guy, his interest his young men in general. by his own statements he's already objectified the younger man, 16 is fulfilling a role/ideal to the OP.
unless the OP is able and willing to see 16 as a fully realized human being then he's got no damn business messing around with him. any relationship is a careful balance of needs met and respect given, it's even more important with someone much younger. the possibility of the this relationship doing long term damage is too high to be so flippant and causal about it.
i've got no issues with age gaps, in my late teens i exclusively ran with women in their late 20a/early 30s. i can tell you from experience there are two very clear groups you can divide these women into 1) women who were interested in me as a person and 2) women who were interested in fucking a 16 year old baby dyke. i learned to spot the more predatory type real quick.. but i was young and sometimes common sense lags behind breast development. i'm not bitter or "i must save the innocents from a fate worse than death", i am just cautious. i know how bad bad can get.
you don't have the full details in this case... so don't in encourage careless behavior when you won't pay any of the consequences. for all we know the OP might be projecting his interest on to 16 and imagining the same feelings are being returned.
if at 16 you wanted the attention, all good and golden.. at 16 how did you feel about the people who pursued when you had no interest in them?
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^^Correct.
Age Of Consensual Sex | LIVESTRONG.COM
^^Incorrect. Your conditions apply when an alleged victim is below the age of consent.
Ages of consent in North America - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
D_Sparroe Spongecaques
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7"24;2716087 said:
Kid being the operative word! legal or not it is wrong!
For the record:
Pennsylvania
The age of consent in Pennsylvania is 16 years of age for statutory sexual assault and 18 years for corruption of minors.
Teenagers aged 13, 14 and 15 may or may not be able to legally engage in sexual activity with partners who are less than 4 years older. Such partners could not be prosecuted under statutory rape laws, but may be liable for other offenses, even when the sexual activity is consensual.[34]
Under Pennsylvania law, a defendant is strictly liable for the offense of rape, a felony of the first degree, when the complainant is 12 or younger. Pennsylvania has enacted several other strict liability sexual offenses when the complainant is under 16, but 13 years old or older.
§ 3122.1. Statutory sexual assault.
Except as provided in section 3121 (relating to rape), a person commits a felony of the second degree when that person engages in sexual intercourse with a complainant under the age of 16 years and that person is four or more years older than the complainant and the complainant and the person are not married to each other.
§ 3125 Aggravated indecent assault
(7) the complainant is less than 13 years of age; or (8) the complainant is less than 16 years of age and the person is four or more years older than the complainant and the complainant and the person are not married to each other. (b) Aggravated indecent assault of a child.--A person commits aggravated indecent assault of a child when the person violates subsection (a)(1), (2), (3), (4), (5) or (6) and the complainant is less than 13 years of age.
§ 3123 Involuntary deviate sexual intercourse
(7) who is less than 16 years of age and the person is four or more years older than the complainant and the complainant and person are not married to each other.
When the alleged victim is 16 or older and less than 18 years of age, and the alleged offender is over the age of 18, the Commonwealth may charge the offense of corruption of minors or unlawful contact with a minor, even if the activity was consensual:
§ 6301 Corruption of minors.
(a) Offense defined.-- (1) Whoever, being of the age of 18 years and upwards, by any act corrupts or tends to corrupt the morals of any minor less than 18 years of age, or who aids, abets, entices or encourages any such minor in the commission of any crime, or who knowingly assists or encourages such minor in violating his or her parole or any order of court, commits a misdemeanor of the first degree.
The crime of corruption of minors is usually a crime that accompanies another "more serious" crime such as statutory rape or involuntary deviate sexual intercourse or accompanies some drug or alcohol use, possession or sale. Tending to corrupt like contributing to delinquency is a broad term involving conduct toward a child in an unlimited variety of ways which tends to produce or to encourage or to continue conduct of the child which would amount to delinquent conduct."[35]
The question of whether consensual intercourse with a minor 16 years or older tends to corrupt the morals of that minor is a jury question to be decided by the "common sense of the community."[36]
§ 6318. Unlawful contact with minor.
(a) Offense defined.--A person commits an offense if he is intentionally in contact with a minor, or a law enforcement officer acting in the performance of his duties who has assumed the identity of a minor, for the purpose of engaging in an activity prohibited under any of the following, and either the person initiating the contact or the person being contacted is within this Commonwealth: (1) Any of the offenses enumerated in Chapter 31 (relating to sexual offenses). (2) Open lewdness as defined in section 5901 (relating to open lewdness). (3) Prostitution as defined in section 5902 (relating to prostitution and related offenses). (4) Obscene and other sexual materials and performances as defined in section 5903 (relating to obscene and other sexual materials and performances). (5) Sexual abuse of children as defined in section 6312 (relating to sexual abuse of children). (6) Sexual exploitation of children as defined in section 6320 (relating to sexual exploitation of children).
Pennsylvania
The age of consent in Pennsylvania is 16 years of age for statutory sexual assault and 18 years for corruption of minors.
Teenagers aged 13, 14 and 15 may or may not be able to legally engage in sexual activity with partners who are less than 4 years older. Such partners could not be prosecuted under statutory rape laws, but may be liable for other offenses, even when the sexual activity is consensual.[34]
Under Pennsylvania law, a defendant is strictly liable for the offense of rape, a felony of the first degree, when the complainant is 12 or younger. Pennsylvania has enacted several other strict liability sexual offenses when the complainant is under 16, but 13 years old or older.
§ 3122.1. Statutory sexual assault.
Except as provided in section 3121 (relating to rape), a person commits a felony of the second degree when that person engages in sexual intercourse with a complainant under the age of 16 years and that person is four or more years older than the complainant and the complainant and the person are not married to each other.
§ 3125 Aggravated indecent assault
(7) the complainant is less than 13 years of age; or (8) the complainant is less than 16 years of age and the person is four or more years older than the complainant and the complainant and the person are not married to each other. (b) Aggravated indecent assault of a child.--A person commits aggravated indecent assault of a child when the person violates subsection (a)(1), (2), (3), (4), (5) or (6) and the complainant is less than 13 years of age.
§ 3123 Involuntary deviate sexual intercourse
(7) who is less than 16 years of age and the person is four or more years older than the complainant and the complainant and person are not married to each other.
When the alleged victim is 16 or older and less than 18 years of age, and the alleged offender is over the age of 18, the Commonwealth may charge the offense of corruption of minors or unlawful contact with a minor, even if the activity was consensual:
§ 6301 Corruption of minors.
(a) Offense defined.-- (1) Whoever, being of the age of 18 years and upwards, by any act corrupts or tends to corrupt the morals of any minor less than 18 years of age, or who aids, abets, entices or encourages any such minor in the commission of any crime, or who knowingly assists or encourages such minor in violating his or her parole or any order of court, commits a misdemeanor of the first degree.
The crime of corruption of minors is usually a crime that accompanies another "more serious" crime such as statutory rape or involuntary deviate sexual intercourse or accompanies some drug or alcohol use, possession or sale. Tending to corrupt like contributing to delinquency is a broad term involving conduct toward a child in an unlimited variety of ways which tends to produce or to encourage or to continue conduct of the child which would amount to delinquent conduct."[35]
The question of whether consensual intercourse with a minor 16 years or older tends to corrupt the morals of that minor is a jury question to be decided by the "common sense of the community."[36]
§ 6318. Unlawful contact with minor.
(a) Offense defined.--A person commits an offense if he is intentionally in contact with a minor, or a law enforcement officer acting in the performance of his duties who has assumed the identity of a minor, for the purpose of engaging in an activity prohibited under any of the following, and either the person initiating the contact or the person being contacted is within this Commonwealth: (1) Any of the offenses enumerated in Chapter 31 (relating to sexual offenses). (2) Open lewdness as defined in section 5901 (relating to open lewdness). (3) Prostitution as defined in section 5902 (relating to prostitution and related offenses). (4) Obscene and other sexual materials and performances as defined in section 5903 (relating to obscene and other sexual materials and performances). (5) Sexual abuse of children as defined in section 6312 (relating to sexual abuse of children). (6) Sexual exploitation of children as defined in section 6320 (relating to sexual exploitation of children).
Rikter8
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10 posts in the last 3 years. Two of them in here. Hmm.......
It's illegal, regardless if he's "Consenting". It doesn't matter what he says..it's what his homophobic father and Judges say when it comes down to it.
Keep him a friend, and thats it. He flirts, tell him he's not old enough.
It's illegal, regardless if he's "Consenting". It doesn't matter what he says..it's what his homophobic father and Judges say when it comes down to it.
Keep him a friend, and thats it. He flirts, tell him he's not old enough.
Rikter8
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All of that doesn't mean squat if you get some Fundamental Fucknut from the Phelps Possie to help...
I'm sorry, but why are you bringing homophobia into this? I don't know too many parents who would be thrilled with the idea of their 16 year old dating anyone old enough to have graduated from college regardless of what's between their legs.
Take note of the ridiculous percentage I have while I say that if one of my 16 year old cousins (Or my baby nephew when he gets to be that age) ever brought home a 22 year old adult, the entire family would be having words with that adult. And by words I mean we'd give them a 20 second head start before letting my aunts and my mother chase them down. Now an age gap may not matter when they're both fully grown adults (And I'd really have a rough time classifying the OP as a grown adult, even if my troll sense isn't lying to me), but a 22 year old adult has no business pursuing a 16 year old child.
for the record some people operate on a set of personal ethics. i know what is right and what's wrong without having to memorize consent laws state by state.
i understand the cheering throng from the "go for it posse" has a mental image of 16 being a cross between the high school sport star you never got to be/never got to hook up with and Taylor Lautner.
how do you know OP isn't talking about some kid who looks more like Justin Bieber? there is only a two year age difference between the Bieber and Lautner, if you want to even the debate google for photos of Lautner at the age of 16, but i can't imagine anyone claiming the boys are close to each other in life expereince or physical maturity. or would you still have no issues with a grown man sexually approaching a boy like Justin Bieber?
the OP chose a sexually focused message board to post his ethical quandary on knowing full well he wouldn't receive as much flack for his questionable interest in a sexual partner much younger than himself. if he cared about doing the right thing, he wouldn't have picked a big dick board.
advising this person to pursue a relationship *one that is illegal in his state* without having more background is just plain wrong.
eta: To OP - unless you are still living with your parents and fighting to get your curfew raised. unless you are stoked to be finally getting your driver's license this year. you shouldn't fuck around with 16 year olds. if you are just getting your license this year. and still live with your parents... you shouldn't fuck around with 16 year olds.
find out why you are only comfortable interested in people who are 6 years behind you developmentally or find out why you are behind in your development by over half a decade.
all the people encouraging you watch too much porn.
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Whoa whoa whoa, why is the bolded part of the criteria for not fucking 16 year olds? Some people prefer to take the bus you know!
true. PTS is pretty nifty... plus, is good for Mama Earf'.
okay.. scratch the license :smile:
I HAD to post to this...
16 years old? You MUST keep him at a distance! That is that, period. There IS no other answer that will involve you being with him when he is at that age.
You can be friends, (but hands-off friends) with him until he comes of age, but nothing more.
And to some of the posters who called the OP a 'grown-ass man'...not at 22 he's not! He's probably not much out of the 16 year olds league, but under the law, he is, and that is what he has to consider.
I like young guys, too. I love watching them, with each other, and never would think of actually touching them myself, because of how old I am. It wouldn't be right, no matter how much I might want it to be. That's just the way it is.
Once your friend is of age, you can pursue a relationship, if that's what you want. But let him be a teenager first, without any extra baggage he doesn't need at this point in his life.
16 years old? You MUST keep him at a distance! That is that, period. There IS no other answer that will involve you being with him when he is at that age.
You can be friends, (but hands-off friends) with him until he comes of age, but nothing more.
And to some of the posters who called the OP a 'grown-ass man'...not at 22 he's not! He's probably not much out of the 16 year olds league, but under the law, he is, and that is what he has to consider.
I like young guys, too. I love watching them, with each other, and never would think of actually touching them myself, because of how old I am. It wouldn't be right, no matter how much I might want it to be. That's just the way it is.
Once your friend is of age, you can pursue a relationship, if that's what you want. But let him be a teenager first, without any extra baggage he doesn't need at this point in his life.
JSchwa1986
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Whether or not it's legal, and whether or not you knew of its legality, I can assume you posted this topic because somewhere, and to some extent, you felt it was wrong or seemed 'off' to desire a relationship with someone his age.
To me, that says everything. Whatever the law says, you clearly have some discomfort with this potential relationship. It caused you to post about it. Follow your instincts.
To me, that says everything. Whatever the law says, you clearly have some discomfort with this potential relationship. It caused you to post about it. Follow your instincts.
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