Help! I'm 22 he's 16.

[alx]

It's not illegal so what's the problem.

Generally, on a biological level 16 years olds should be attractive, they are in their prime.

Its a recent notion that 18 is a mature age.

Romeo and juliet, by Shakespeare; he was about 16-20 she was 13.



....just say.

 

[MickeyLee]

It's not illegal so what's the problem.

Generally, on a biological level 16 years olds should be attractive, they are in their prime.

Its a recent notion that 18 is a mature age.

Romeo and juliet, by Shakespeare; he was about 16-20 she was 13.



....just say.

yea, cuz those two crazy kids really made it work

 

[alx]

yea, cuz those two crazy kids really made it work

It was a major cock-up yeah, but tbh easily done.

 

[Bbucko]

It's not illegal so what's the problem.

Generally, on a biological level 16 years olds should be attractive, they are in their prime.

Its a recent notion that 18 is a mature age.

Romeo and juliet, by Shakespeare; he was about 16-20 she was 13.

I'll start by admitting that I did not read this entire thread (just the first two pages) so it's probable that my point below has already been made, but just in case it wasn't said so explicitly, I'll do it now.

There is a world of difference between being physically able to have sex and having the emotional maturity required to be fully consensual to responsible sex. I'm certain that there are certain 16-year olds who have the level of maturity required to give informed consent to another 16-, 17- or 18-year old. But many, if not most, are not.

There is a world of difference and life experiences between a sophomore in high school and someone old enough to be a grad student. If someone who is 22 years old thinks that s/he can relate on an emotional and intellectual level with a 16-year old enough to consider engaging that person in a sexual relationship, then the 22-year old really hasn't matured him/herself to be able to trust his/her feelings in the matter.

They live in completely different universes of reality. A 16-year old is financially dependent upon a parent for everything, even if s/he has a job it wouldn't pay rent or feed him/her entirely on his/her own. A 16-year old's social life revolves around high school which may have similarities to real life but really not so much. Even the most aware, educated and engaging 16-year old is still a sheltered kid.

A 22-year old is (or at least should be) financial independent with a wide range of responsibilities that makes up his/her life; these responsibilities are incomprehensible to a 16-year old on an actual, real-life level. There's a huge difference between the rituals and obligations of a work-life and the social realities of high school, which is the only experience available to a 16-year old in contemporary American society.

A high schooler would undoubtedly be both enormously flattered and sexually attracted to a 22-year old, and though I never would, I can at least understand how a 22-year old would find a 16-year old endearing and sexually attractive, too. But that does not make such a relationship justifiable.

Examples from history or fiction (Romeo & Juliette: really?) or from other cultures do not apply here, because of the great social changes that have taken place in the US over the last 30-40 years, even more so over the last 15. Kids are kids: leave them alone.

And if this is really all about a hook-up rather than a long-term relationship, then the OP is a predator.

 

[B_deltaboy767]

You really have to have us tell you to stay away from him for 24 months before you make a move on him sexually? What, you wanna go to jail for statutory rape of a minor? Or worse be branded a short eyed bastard?

Why you straight men do it all the time, what's the differance?

 

[Drifterwood]

And if this is really all about a hook-up rather than a long-term relationship, then the OP is a predator.

The age of consent for gay men was reduced to 16 a while ago in the UK Bbuck, to be inline with hets. It was a cause celebre for equal rights. Would that make a difference to your opinion?

To be open, I have always had a problem with the thought that men my age are allowed to fuck 16 year olds.

 

[helgaleena]

And hopefully your attitude is shared by the majority, Drifter... the incidence of April-December pairings belongs in the extreme rare category I hope.

 

[bigbiboy]

That's perfectly legal in the UK. 16 is the legal age, and the age gap isn't that big. When I turned 18 I was fucking a guy who was 38. If I'm honest I was only in his life for 2 reasons, first to make him look good infront of his friends and second to make him feel good in bed. There was little or no love between us. I was just his trophy twink, being used to boost his ego. But I did enjoy it, he took me out and brought me gifts and the sex was great and often, although he was a strict top I soon learned to enjoy and want to be a bottom all the time. I'm pretty sure that if I met him when I was 16 I'd still have become his lover.

 

[alx]

I'll start by admitting that I did not read this entire thread (just the first two pages) so it's probable that my point below has already been made, but just in case it wasn't said so explicitly, I'll do it now.

There is a world of difference between being physically able to have sex and having the emotional maturity required to be fully consensual to responsible sex. I'm certain that there are certain 16-year olds who have the level of maturity required to give informed consent to another 16-, 17- or 18-year old. But many, if not most, are not.

There is a world of difference and life experiences between a sophomore in high school and someone old enough to be a grad student. If someone who is 22 years old thinks that s/he can relate on an emotional and intellectual level with a 16-year old enough to consider engaging that person in a sexual relationship, then the 22-year old really hasn't matured him/herself to be able to trust his/her feelings in the matter.

They live in completely different universes of reality. A 16-year old is financially dependent upon a parent for everything, even if s/he has a job it wouldn't pay rent or feed him/her entirely on his/her own. A 16-year old's social life revolves around high school which may have similarities to real life but really not so much. Even the most aware, educated and engaging 16-year old is still a sheltered kid.

A 22-year old is (or at least should be) financial independent with a wide range of responsibilities that makes up his/her life; these responsibilities are incomprehensible to a 16-year old on an actual, real-life level. There's a huge difference between the rituals and obligations of a work-life and the social realities of high school, which is the only experience available to a 16-year old in contemporary American society.

A high schooler would undoubtedly be both enormously flattered and sexually attracted to a 22-year old, and though I never would, I can at least understand how a 22-year old would find a 16-year old endearing and sexually attractive, too. But that does not make such a relationship justifiable.

Examples from history or fiction (Romeo & Juliette: really?) or from other cultures do not apply here, because of the great social changes that have taken place in the US over the last 30-40 years, even more so over the last 15. Kids are kids: leave them alone.

And if this is really all about a hook-up rather than a long-term relationship, then the OP is a predator.

I wasn't saying it was ok, and I understand the complexities of the subject. Im just stating the fact that 16yrs is legal, 18yrs is a recent notion that that is mature.

 

[7"24]

Figured I'd follow up with you guys he is 17 now, we have done nothing together so please ease off me I was simpy asking If my thoughts were ok I feel like I was molested at a young age I love women but jerk to gay porn and always seem
Like younger guys, but feel ashamed of these thoughts, I never have attractions to prepubescent boys so don't even go there, The difference is I would never act on it because i know it's wrong please don't get get the wrong idea about me just wanted a little advice.

 

[Bbucko]

I wasn't saying it was ok, and I understand the complexities of the subject. Im just stating the fact that 16yrs is legal, 18yrs is a recent notion that that is mature.

The age of consent for gay men was reduced to 16 a while ago in the UK Bbuck, to be inline with hets. It was a cause celebre for equal rights. Would that make a difference to your opinion?

To be open, I have always had a problem with the thought that men my age are allowed to fuck 16 year olds.

I remember the fight well. The album sleeve for Bronski Beat's Age Of Consent listed them by country. It was one of my favorite albums, though I quickly tired of La Somerville's histrionics and blatant self-pity.

It still doesn't alter my opinion that just because something's legal doesn't automatically make anything right any more than the fact that something that is illegal is automatically wrong. People have the right to make some really poor choices in life and get to live with the consequences, too.

In the context of the line you quoted from, I genuinely believe that a man in his 20s who seriously considers a romantic relationship with a 16-year old to have issues with their own emotional and mental maturity, but that anyone who'd just hook-up with no emotional involvement or commitment with a high-schooler is a predator. That is a time in someone's life when one is just exploring intimacy, and casual NSA sex is something much more adult.

This is entirely my opinion: like assholes, we all got one. And I'm one of the least judgmental, sex-positive members of LPSG. I just don't happen to think that asymmetrical relationships with kids, whatever the legality, is cool. I think it's exploitation: again, just my personal opinion.

Figured I'd follow up with you guys he is 17 now, we have done nothing together so please ease off me I was simpy asking If my thoughts were ok I feel like I was molested at a young age I love women but jerk to gay porn and always seem
Like younger guys, but feel ashamed of these thoughts, I never have attractions to prepubescent boys so don't even go there, The difference is I would never act on it because i know it's wrong please don't get get the wrong idea about me just wanted a little advice.

You asked for advice and got it: you must have understood that, due to the controversial nature of the subject, not all the advice would be positive.

 

[chuck216]

It's amazing how prudish this world has become lately. It used to be common for people 16 and even younger to have relationships, and even marriages to older people. If it wasn't for my mother marrying my then 29 year old father when she was 16. I wouldn't be here. Other more famous examples. country music legends Loretta Lynn, married her husband at 13, and jerry lee lewis married a 13 year old.


The one thing nobody has asked is how the 16 year old young man feels about all this. To be honest a 6 year age difference isn't that much, if they were 26 and 32 nobody would think twice about it.

If the 16 year old wants a relationship with a 22 year old I see nothing wrong with it, as long as it's kept within what's legal for that juristiction. Now if the 22 year old is actively persuing a 16 year old that doesn't want a reltionship, then that is messed up. In a word the 16 year old's opinion and veiws are the only ones that matter.

 

[AlteredEgo]

Why you straight men do it all the time, what's the differance?

That is the second time you said this. And you're still wrong. It isn't right when adults meddle too much in the sexual development of children. They are meant t be protected and guided, and any practical experimentation should be done with their peers, not grown-ass men and women. If the OP's love interest had been a young lady, we'd probably have been even more harsh with him, by my estimation. In my eyes it's all the same. He's wrong, he knows he's wrong, and your two-wrongs-make-it-right mentality is just gross.

 

[yoyocherry]

Yeah.

Like big brother/kid brother.

Father/son.

Pastor/altar boy.

Oh, I've gone too far. :biggrin1:

Haha nice

 

[yoyocherry]

Oh and aside from that I know a 14 year old girl living with her 20 year old boyfriend. Sorry HE is living with her! And the parents are fine with it, sleeping in the same bed. Now, I do NOT know if they do the "touchy touchy" but come on, a 20 year old and a 14 year old in the same bed? 2+2=they are fucking. Now, you are 22 and he is 16 if you arent touching, what's the issue? The thing that you have to realize is that there is probably a major maturity difference between you guys. But then again Im here and you are over there. None of us know for a fact that you are or arent. If it is not illegal for you two to be in a relationship, then go for it. Obviously you can't get it on. I don't see a "mental" or a "psychological" issue here. You are into someone, sadly for you he is underage, therefore making it a no-touch situation. If you break that for your pleasure (obviously) then to hell with you lol. But if you can wait it out for two years for him then good. There you go, my opinion lol Hope that helped at all.

 

[wallaboi]

... Anyways I really like this kid and he fliers with me a little sometimes lol but don't know why I am Always attracted to younger 16-19 y/o guys .

I think this an interesting thread, but nobdy has really addressed the OP's original question of "why I am always attracted to younger guys"

As a young guy myself (16-26yrs) I was always attracted to older guys. It's not easy explain why, but I was not really interested in having a relationship with younger guys, or those my own age. I just liked older men.

Figured I'd follow up with you guys he is 17 now, we have done nothing together .[/QUOTE,]

Well, we now know the argument is theoretical, but there has been many interesting and often very strong opinions expressed. I suppose our opinions are formed by our own experiences.

It's amazing how prudish this world has become lately...

The one thing nobody has asked is how the 16 year old young man feels about all this. To be honest a 6 year age difference isn't that much, if they were 26 and 32 nobody would think twice about it.

If the 16 year old wants a relationship with a 22 year old I see nothing wrong with it, as long as it's kept within what's legal for that juristiction. Now if the 22 year old is actively persuing a 16 year old that doesn't want a reltionship, then that is messed up. In a word the 16 year old's opinion and veiws are the only ones that matter.

I think this post probably comes closest to my own feelings on this thread.

I'd like to know what others think about a 22 year old and 16 year old dating. That is going to the movies, meeting at a coffee shop, going to the beach, kissing cuddling and making out on the lounge. Sharing common interests like sports, fishing, camping. Is it OK to fondle each other so long as there is no penetration?

 

[B_Lewis1]

you guys are like super sad & judgmental
lets bring some math into the equation

16 and 22 both rounded to the nearest ten = 20

6 years is almost nothing compared to the 10 & 15 year differences ive seen

so he is a pervert for being attracted to someone younger but in 2 more years everything is A okay? what will happen in those 2 years that will make a real difference

you guys are mending legal & moral together

we all know about the legal you guys are fuckfaces sometimes

dude there is nothing wrong being attracted to someone that age
nothing
if dude was 12 or 13 there would be some problems but this is tottally normal

matters of the heart trump all these self imposed walls

 

[D_3wsd4rtf]

I strongly recommend you not to pursue in a sex relationship with him because it is a jailbait waiting to happen once the parents finds out. Let a teen date another teen, please.

 

[FuzzyKen]

This one is a zero win situation on all levels. If you were to cave in and have sex with this fellow the odds are very good that the sex would be at best lousy. He is at that age not mature enough to handle any kind of relationship of duration or meaning. You have wasted your time and very likely gotten hurt or disappointed even without the potential for legal issues being thrown in for good or bad measure. Then remember that even if the law was on your side, you would be judged be individuals who may view any gay act age or not as a negative and these individuals would be the ones judging your behavior. The final thing is that young people that age when they are not certain of their sexuality jump back and forth between sides. They are straight one week and gay the next one. There is also a potential for a great act and then remorse that sends "junior" running to Mommy and Daddy yelling that you did the deed to him and that he was not willing. Immature teens lying through their teeth in order to save face is a common thing as well. How do you feel about starring in a prison sex movie? Remember that it is a possibility and personally I would very quickly put distance between you and he especially if he is coming on to you in any manner. There are 16 year olds that play games with those of age to get something and that is also a possibility. Until it is legal run like the wind.

 

[B_deltaboy767]

That is the second time you said this. And you're still wrong. It isn't right when adults meddle too much in the sexual development of children. They are meant t be protected and guided, and any practical experimentation should be done with their peers, not grown-ass men and women. If the OP's love interest had been a young lady, we'd probably have been even more harsh with him, by my estimation. In my eyes it's all the same. He's wrong, he knows he's wrong, and your two-wrongs-make-it-right mentality is just gross.

I know he is wrong, and that is not what i am saying at all, i think he too knows he's wrong, but then again you can't control who you have feelings for, all i am saing is that MOST hetero males, at least the ones i know, and have known over the years, like the fact of chasing "young meat", however, society, as a whole, often turns the other cheek when a hetero male goes after a younger girl, say for instance, a teen, under 18, both are VERY WRONG...