HELP! I'm Freaking out!!!

Discussion in 'Et Cetera, Et Cetera' started by unabear09, Apr 2, 2008.

  1. unabear09

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    Hey all. It's late here in Bama, and I have had a really shitty day, and I need some words of encouragement right now because I want to find the nearest cliff and jump off of it. Me and one of my friends were out grocery shopping tonight, and we took her car. She said she wanted me to drive, so I did, no big deal. Well we get done shopping and get ready to leave the store, walk outside and see that it is pouring down rain. She hands me her keys and asks if I would go and pull her car around to the front of the store so her and her kids won't get wet. Well I get in the car, and drive around to the front of the store. As I was turning to park the car at the front of the store, I hit a pole. I NEVER SAW THE POLE!!! So I hit it with enough force to push the hood of the car in a little and put a nice dent in the hood(the bumper was already kinda fucked up, but it is now dragging the ground), broke the windshield (b/c of the fucking air bag coming out), and a deploy the air bags. I'm ok, the car is still in driving condition, so we get in the car and drive it back to her place.

    Ok so I am really upset, but thankfully my friend wasn't mad or upset with me. I decide that the best thing to do right now is for me to leave my car with her so she can take her kids to school, and get to university for school herself. I told her to just keep the car until I can figure out what the fuck to do. Here's the kicker....she only has liability on her car, my car has liability on it, but I'm not sure (if fact I'm pretty sure) that I don't have personal coverage. I'm unemployeed, and am a full time caretaker of my 90 y/o grandmother (who is in bad health and can no longer live by herself), who pays my bills and provides me with food and shelter, and lives on a relatively fixed income. I don't know what to do....I have to fix her car, but how do I afford it? Right now I am just about totally overwhelmed with my whole situation in life right now. Having no income (other than what my Grandmother provides for me) no job, no insurance. My grandmother is just scrapping by now, and I don't know how the car will get fixed or rather when the car will be fixed. I know that things will work out for the best, the car will get fixed somehow, and everything will be ok, but I am afraid that my friend (my best friend) will loose patience with me, and my friendship will be in jeopardy. Where do I go from here? I am planning on taking the car to the shop when I get up tomorrow to find out what all is damaged (I pray that there has been no damage to the engine or any of the mechanical parts of the car) and try to get an estimate of how much it will cost to repair the car. I guess right now I need some words of encouragement from my friends here at LPSG. I also was wondering if anyone has had an experience similar to mine? Any advice? I need some help here....josh
     
  2. bigmix

    bigmix New Member

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    take it easy man.. it could be better after tomorrow. take a deep breath and shower then go to sleep.

    it's quite late there and you can find no way in the darkness. let tomorrow light brighten up everything also your problem to be solved. nothing's too bad than it's in our brain. just stop panic-ing and take more deep breaths. rinse yourself with warm shower then you'll be better. go to sleep or just stay here to see more supports from friends here.

    i have passed that in my life too, not like your situation, just something similar, no job, no money and no one to turn to... i thought like you where the highest cliff was, i wished i was there and jumped off, and finally, it was just my room's window, not a cliff anymore..

    so the best is i am with you now. take care, my friend..

    by the way, don't jump off from any cliff, many people here will cry of losing one good poster and one LP member. your dick is big and nice man. ;)
     
  3. ActionBuddy

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    Take a deep breath or 3, man... worse things could happen! "This too, shall pass!"

    Onan
     
  4. B_Demention

    B_Demention New Member

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    I'm sorry una, I hope you can work it out with her somehow.
     
  5. kalipygian

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    If the impact had pushed the radiator and fan into the engine, it would have been obvious at once, by noise and leaking coolant. If this did not happen, it doesn't seem likely the engine would have been damaged.
     
  6. simcha

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    Unabear09,

    Take some deep breaths as the other posters have said. That's the best advice for now.

    Sweetie, I see that you are 25. Let me tell you as someone who is a little farther down the road from you in life, these things in life happen. Yeah it sucks. I've had two cars totalled in the past 5 years. My car insurance is insane. I'm working poor and in debt like you wouldn't believe. However, somehow everything seems to work out financially and materially. Some months I honestly don't know how I make it. I have literally $5 to my name a week before payday sometimes. And I have no credit cards I can use.

    But, at least I know I'm going to get paid. And yes, there have been plenty of times in my adult years that I've been unemployed. It happens to most of us from time to time unfortunately. It's part of life and it's more difficult for those of us who are working poor because, yes, we don't have reserves that others might have.

    And I can honestly tell you that things generally work out somehow. My Italian Great Grandmother used to say, "Don't worry. Things always seem to work out in the end." She was dirt poor most of her life. She lived well into her 90s and made things work, somehow. She was a tough lady, and wise.

    All I can say is that thank goodness you and no one else was hurt. A car is a thing. It can be replaced. Yes cars are annoying money pits even though they are useful and sometimes necessary. And it's important to remember that a car is just a thing. And money is only money. You can't replace yourself or anyone around you. You can always earn more money. And you can always spend more money on a car that can be replaced.

    Whatever you do, don't jump off of a cliff or hurt yourself. Remember, you cannot be replaced and you are beyond value. You are priceless, in fact. There has never been, there isn't, and there will never be another you. And you are a wonderful gift to the world. Just look at the way you lovingly take care of your grandmother and that you have friends who care about you and whom you care about.

    Now go have a good cry, if you can, and take some deep breaths. Then get some sleep. Wake up tomorrow and perhaps the situation will look differently than it does tonight.

    Sweet dreams, fair prince.
     
  7. unabear09

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    thats what I thought too....the only difference that I can tell (at least audibly) is that there is kind of a squeel, that sounds very similar to a loose belt
     
  8. Dorian_Gray

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    Hiding in the light...
    definately need to just take a deep breath... It wasn't too long ago I was in a parking lot and some woman ran over my foot while I was loading my car. If your friend is really your friend she'll understand. She should from my POV anyway, it's just a vehicle. It's not like you hit someone. GOOD LUCK:smile: hopefully the repairs will be minimal. Just watch out for these dealer type places that will rip you a new one on the repair costs!
     
  9. D_Kaye Throttlebottom

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    Dude - I would not worry. Either of your policies could cover the damage because of hitting a pole in inclimate weather. Most policies that just have liability, also have permissible use coverage to let someone else drive her car and her policy would still cover the damage. You have coverage so if your policy can cover the damage, your policy will go up. Here's the good news, her car will get fixed or she'll get a check. You can always switch to another insurance policy (a lot of insurance companies are agressive to compete with you and accident forgiveness is a new thing they are touting).

    Most of all, don't stress, this stuff happens in life. It is great that when it happened to you, no one was hurt.
     
  10. unabear09

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    thanks for the kind words and advice.. I feel a little better today. I didnt sleep worth a damn last night, so I'm feeling pretty crappy right now. I just want the anxiety to go away. I told my grandmother what happened, and it didn't really seem to phase her that much. I guess I'm the only one who's bothered about the whole situation right now. I'm pretty sure that insurance is not going to cover it. Her insurance is that high risk type....ss something or another. So the likelihood of her having coverage enough to pay to fix it is slim to none. I'll have to talk to my dad in the evening (he works nights) about mine, but I'm pretty sure that I actually have no coverage on me, just coverage on the car. I just wish my nerves would settle down....I've still got the shakes..... I'm just ready for the car to be fixed and all of this to be over with....
     
  11. MidwestGal

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    no real words of advice other than I hope your week starts to go better. I've been where it feels like the end of the world at times due to circumstances but I always have come out of it. Hope the shakes settle down, I know how scary it is to be in an accident.
     
  12. 8060

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    The worse thing you can do is overly stress and worry about the situation. You should just try to find a way to put your friend in your position, financially speaking. If you have any time that you could find to spend away from your grandmother, perhaps 3rd shift, so you can work and get the money for the repairs that is coming to come up. Try looking to someone in your life to help care for your grandmother while you're working to get the money that you need.

    Are you in a really bad spot without your car? Can you stand to give it to your friend for the time that you need. You could donate sperm and blood as often as you can to build the funds up. Don't get a cash advance from a credit card. Without employment, that would just be digging yourself into anothe hole. Lastly, pray about the situation.
     
  13. christina

    christina New Member

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    well first thank goodness ur ok. its just a car and i know ur stressed iv been in the same boat. I dunno if u know anyone that could to the labor for a cheaper price or anything but after u get it checked out and find out which parts u need u can call around to different junk yards and see if they have those parts. I got a new trunk hood thing from a junk yard it wasnt the same color but even with the coloring it was still cheaper than takin it to the shop i dunno if any of this is an option, just a thought. Good luck Josh!
     
  14. Phil Ayesho

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    RELAX...

    You don't ever need to consider suicide...because, trust me... dying is the one thing that WILL happen to you, soon enough.

    You can't be put in jail for debt. ( yet) In handing you the keys to a car with only liability coverage, your friend was taking the risk... ergo, if she's really a friend, then she will be understanding and accepting of the situation.

    And really... money is the easiest problem in the world to solve.

    All it takes is work.

    It may take you quite a while to pay off the debt... but all that can be asked is that you pay something toward it, even a few dollars, every month.

    When cars go bump, as long as no one is hurt, its just so much bent metal and busted glass.

    In the larger scheme of things....It doesn't matter at all.
     
  15. unabear09

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    I'm not too bad off without a car. As a matter of fact, I've given her my car until I can get mine fixed. Yeah, I'm going to have to get a job. She understands my financial situation, and has been really understanding about the whole thing. I'm the one with the problems though. I quit smoking 9 weeks ago and I feel like a ball of nerves right now. Not going to take up smoking, but I wish I could calm down. My primary concern right now is not necessairly the money (coming up with it that is), its more about the time its going to take to be able to fix it. She texted me a little while ago and said that one of her friends was dating someone that owns an auto body shop, so hopefully he will work with me as far as payments are concerned...I pray that they will let me make payments or something like that......
     
  16. kalipygian

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    Not everybody who was driving a friend in a friend's car at their request would consider themself to be solely responsible for repairs. It seems reasonable that your friend might contribute to the cost as well.

    Edit: Your friend was saving money by not having comp and collision, some of those saved premiums might go toward the repairs.

    What you might be thinking of for your friends insurance is SR22, which is for people who are considered high risk. It is several times more expensive.
     
  17. unabear09

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    yeah had thought about that myself....thing is....she's in worse financial shape than I am.....recently divorced....husband declared bankruptcy to keep her from getting anything...so she's at university here, living in gov't housing, getting no child support, trying to raise 2 young children.....
     
  18. lttlgrllst

    lttlgrllst New Member

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    Sorry to hear about this happening to you. Sometimes it feels like when it rains it pours.

    Maybe you can take comfort in the fact that it sounds like you are a good caring person, to care for your ailing Grandmother. I am a big believer in karma, so keep being a good person and know that it will get better.

    The friend with a body shop sounds like a good start to your problem. Maybe things are looking up already?
     
  19. B_lamdellboo

    B_lamdellboo New Member

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    Sorry to hear about this, man.
    You seem to be a great person, and crappy things like this shouldn't happen to people like you. Yet, as we all know, they do.

    I'm not sure what the exact name of this thing is, or how it works, but isn't there some sort of website or something that you can donate to other people's accounts? I'm horrible at describing it. But if you can figure out what I'm talking about, I'd totally be willing to throw you a few bucks. Maybe others feel the same?


    In any case, best of luck! :]
     
  20. unabear09

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    Thanks Rocky for the kind words, and generosity......Just to give an update.... I met the auto body guy to let him check out the car....he said that if ins. were involved, they'd total the car out...I don't know why though, it wasn't that bad...although now that I think about it, since the airbags were deployed (and as I found out a little while ago, its hella expensive to replace them....like $1500-2000 per airbag) and are so expensive to replace, if I were to replace them, that would almost be as much as the car is worth. Talked to my friend and she said not to worry with replacing them....thank god! I still don't know how much it's going to be to fix the car, but the car guy said he was going to work on getting parts from scrap cars, and that it would be Friday before he could let me know anything.

    I'm feeling a little better today. I didn't sleep last night, despite taking something to knock me out, so I've felt pretty shitty all day. My nerves have finally started to calm down a bit. I guess the anxiety of getting the ball rolling was the source of the frayed nerves. I'm still not quite sure how I'm going to come up with the money, but I think it'll all be ok. Talked to my grandmother about the wreck this morning, and it didn't seem to phase her that much (a far better reaction than what I was expecting). She said we'd get it fixed and not to worry about it too much (though worrying is an annoying trait that I have...to the extent of making myself sick, as seen today). Physically I'm ok...not sore or anything (not that I was expecting to be), except I can't the smell of the airbag chemicals out of my sinuses....and every time I smell I get overwhelmed with the smell of chemicals, which triggers the anxiety. I think I am going to take a long hot bath tonight and throw in some aromatherapy oils to try to get the smell out. I'll try to keep everyone updated, though I think that tomorrow I am going to lock myself in my bedroom and only come out to use the toliet and to eat. josh
     
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