Help me find a story

Discussion in 'Fictitious Stories' started by gadget, Jul 8, 2007.

  1. gadget

    gadget New Member

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    A long time ago I stubled up on a story.

    Let me describe it to you.

    It was about a man who meets a genie or some sort of powerful being. The genie as we'll call it (not really sure) grants the man 3 wishes.

    1. He can change anything about the appearance of hiself or anyone else.
    2. He can change their thought process so that they don't realize what has happened
    3. (I'm not sure on this one). He can stop time?

    So help me out LPSG group, and no I don't think the story was on this site.
     
  2. gadget

    gadget New Member

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    Wow no one can help me out? =/

    :mad:
     
  3. Onslow

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    You might have to pen a story of your own based on what you recall.

    In the meanwhile~~

    Once upon a time there was a tired old farmer named Bartleby. Bartleby lived many racoon lengths and a few bear hides from the center of town. Over time Bartleby had become quite concerned by the lack of crops growing on his cattle farm of sea creatures and decided it was time for an excavation of the far realms of his less than palatial kingdom.

    On the third Thursday of the month before the last one, he (that would indeed be Bartleby) awokied one morning to the sound of termites chomping away at his beloved antique gallows. Seeing no other choice he headed out to the copper mine and began searching for coal.

    Alas, all Bartleby found was a soiled old lantern. He rubbed the lantern furiously with great vim and even greater vigor. As he rubbed he thought back to a time not so long in the past when he had been a proprietor of a local kiosk which sold potato pies. Often on many sunny evenings in the early part of the day, a lovely lass would stroll by on her own with her mother and elderly aunt in tow. The young lass had beautifully shaped breasts--almost as if a master artist himself had created them they were so divinely shaped and perfectly mounted on her front side.

    Bartleby knew instantly that although he was heavily intoxicated with the sensations of being smitten he could never have Rackaracka for himself and invested his efforts towards her slovenly mother the one titted hag who had given sexual favors to the trolls and trollops living under Lancelot Bridge.


    Well, long story cut short, Bartleby married Rackaracka's mother and then impregnated her and things went horribly from there as can be seen by the fact that Bartleby is deranged (similar to myself).

    Bartleby rubbed his aching crotch a while longer--er, um, I mean, Bartleby rubbed the lamp a while longer when out popped a 7 fooot tall genie named Virgil.
    "To whom am I to send forth my rage for distubing my time with Rackaracka my lovely concubine?" bellowed Virgil the genie.


    "{gulp}"Bartleby tembled and then remembered that his grandfather Oil Can Harry had once told how he had defeated Mighty Mouse after finding an old lamp with a genie and that genies were required to grant 3 wishes to those that released them from the lamp.

    Bartleby grinned, and told the genie of this.


    "confound it!" roared Virgil the genie. "Oh. allright. What be it that you want varmint?" and with that Bartleby turned into a possum.


    Making the possum noises that he could Bartleby made his request that time would stop and for a player piano and lastly for the lovely Rackaracka to be his bride.

    "Argh!" Groaned Virgil the genie, knowing that he had to grant the wishes.


    And so Rackaracka became Bartleby's bride in a simple ceremony attended by thousands of hungry townsfolk. After the ceremony and after food had been served and eaten another dozen guests appeared demanding food! Rackaracka as a new bride knew she had to serve this hungry guests and the men were not only hungry they were well, well they--they were well hung. There I said it. Looking around all that she could find was a huge possum sitting on a threadbare chair. She grabbed the possum and threw it in the trashcan oven and baked the possum nice and brown and lay some hotcakes all around. The visitors scarfed down the possum dinner and the men (there were 9 of them--yeehaw!) then did manly things with eachother as they prepared to do gentlemanly things with the three women they had brought with them (use your own imagination to think what they might do).


    Rackaracka looked around and could no longer find her husband Bartleby. It was then that Virgil the genie reappeared laughing all the while--"You've eaten that man for the last time" he chuckled and indeed Rackaracka knew this to be true and in her sorrow and on the rebound she married Virigil the genie and they went on to have 8 children of their own.


    The moral of the story (as Bartleby learned far too late) is never ask for wishes from a genie who can change your appearance and make you look like a tasty meal--especially not after stealing the genie's love interest.
     
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