Okay, so.... I may have met the perfect woman for me, and she's as interested in me as much as I am in her, but I really want to take things slowly. We've discussed our mutual interest and exclusivity, but neither of us is ready to put any kind of label on it.
I think I'd like to limit seeing her, for the time being, to one or two nights a week, we're both very busy, and don't really have time for a relationship anyways. (Remember we're taking it slow, so this will increase over time)
I know that when I'm getting to know someone, I have a tendency to want to spend as much time with her as I can, but I also know that when someone does that to me, it scares the shit out of me! I really think this may be the perfect woman, and I know she has the same thoughts in her mind about me, so, I guess by my absence, I want her to have a longing for me, not so much that she'll question my feelings, but enough to make her really miss me when I'm not around.
I know this sounds manipulative, but in my mind it's not any worse than anything else we do in relationships to try and create or entice desire.
On the other side of this, I want to do very romantic things for her when we are together, and I never want to seem uninterested. (Ah, finding balance, such a task!)
I know that this aproach may make me sound like an asshole (I'm really not, I swear) but we've both had a history of dating terrible people, and we both want to take this slowly, so I think that my sort of "hands off" aproach will allow her enough space and time to really fall in love with me, without feeling like I'm forcing anything onto her.
Please give me input:
1. Am I off my rocker with this aproach?
2. How would you feel if you where her (will it have the desired effect)?
3. What can I do to make her feel amazing when I do see her?
I think I'd like to limit seeing her, for the time being, to one or two nights a week, we're both very busy, and don't really have time for a relationship anyways. (Remember we're taking it slow, so this will increase over time)
I know that when I'm getting to know someone, I have a tendency to want to spend as much time with her as I can, but I also know that when someone does that to me, it scares the shit out of me! I really think this may be the perfect woman, and I know she has the same thoughts in her mind about me, so, I guess by my absence, I want her to have a longing for me, not so much that she'll question my feelings, but enough to make her really miss me when I'm not around.
I know this sounds manipulative, but in my mind it's not any worse than anything else we do in relationships to try and create or entice desire.
On the other side of this, I want to do very romantic things for her when we are together, and I never want to seem uninterested. (Ah, finding balance, such a task!)
I know that this aproach may make me sound like an asshole (I'm really not, I swear) but we've both had a history of dating terrible people, and we both want to take this slowly, so I think that my sort of "hands off" aproach will allow her enough space and time to really fall in love with me, without feeling like I'm forcing anything onto her.
Please give me input:
1. Am I off my rocker with this aproach?
2. How would you feel if you where her (will it have the desired effect)?
3. What can I do to make her feel amazing when I do see her?