Help! Need Dating Advice

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by CLS65///AMG, Nov 20, 2007.

  1. CLS65///AMG

    CLS65///AMG New Member

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    hey everyone! First off, I would like to say that I'm new to the site and plan on doing some browsing. But before I do, I need any advice you can offer.

    I am a college student and there is this one particular girl in majority of my classes and need less to say, I am highly attracted to her. During the first week of school we met and only talked during class, up until now we started hanging out (once). Ever since we met, I always thought she was attracted to me also, but at that time she had a boyfriend so I would think it's my mind playing games with me. She would always smile when she sees me, come and talk to me after we got out of class, sit next to me, and ask me to sit next to her in lecture, and stuff like that.

    Well, two weeks ago she told me in class that she had broken up with her boyfriend. I thought it was a clue. So, last night after class we went out to dinner, (me, her, and her friend) had fun and made plans to go out tomorrow night.

    Well, tonight I sent her a text message (she couldnt talk at that time on the phone) asking if she would like to be my date at my company's holiday party. 20 minutes later I recieve a response that says: "I dont want to commit to it now, I want to see what my family is doing and I will let you know. ok?" So I respond, "no worries" me being the person I am, are now feeling like I "read her the wrong way." Maybe she doesnt have feelings for me, maybe she is just overly nice. I have no clue. My dilemma is now tomorrow night I don't think I want to go anymore. I'm not sure what she is thinking of me now. Was I wrong? Last night she says she would call me to remind me to go out with her and her friend. Now I feel like she won't call me.

    I don't know, which is why I am asking for your opinions and or experiences.
     
  2. sdbg

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    Being that you made plans, keep them. If you flake on her, you'll never know what could have been. Don't let her reaction to the company party invite sour you. She may not be up for meeting all of your coworkers so soon, or she may want to see what her options are before she commits. Go out with her tomorrow and see what happens. By the end of your date, you'll know where you stand. Have fun!
     
  3. rope9839

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    It might be my age, but don't ever ask someone out for the first time or try to move a relationship to a new level in a text message. You can't get any context. If she can't talk, wait. Was it honestly that pressing that you had to ask at that moment? She didn't say "No," but you are still left to wonder. Take this for what it is worth, but your response probably didn't help. "No worries" also leaves it hanging. "I understand. Can I call you tomorrow?" gives you an opportunity to follow up and see what she is really thinking. Even if you are fairly new at this, you'll be able to gain a lot more from her voice than from a text.

    Given where you are now, I might still follow up with a phone call. You might even lay it out there a bit. Tell her that you've taken a liking to her and you just wondered how she felt. If you are going from friends or acquaintances to dating, you will probably need to have this conversation at some point. With what you've described, I'd get this out of the way soon. If you don't, either you are going to worry yourself into missing an opportunity that might actually be there, waste time pining over someone that really just wants to be your friend or your behavior may shift just enough that she decides it's kind of uncomfortable around you now. If you are still gaining your bearings in this area, try it over the phone instead of in person. It'll be easier for you to take if the news isn't what you want to hear and it might be easier for her to give you an honest answer when she has the phone line as a buffer between the two of you.

    I don't know either of you, but if I had to make a couple of generalizations on the topic - remember romance (and the text thing just isn't going to cut it for awhile) and start out with an honest dialogue. A large majority of women like it, will respect you for it and maybe even find they have a mutual interest. Seriously, treat her like you would like to be treated.

    Or you could just go with the standard LPSG answer of "Fuck her best friend so she will get jealous and lust after your reportedly huge penis."

    Your choice.
     
  4. OmahaBeef

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    Couple things:

    1) Be a companion, but understand that she just got out of a relationship, and that the last thing you want is to put her in a position or situation that makes her feel like she is "attached".

    2) Let her invite you along when there is an event, but only when YOU are invited. This puts the ball in her court as far as the pace in which she wants to set, as far as your friendship develops.

    3) Holidays are typically times for family. Speaking simply for myself, if I had the chance to chill with my family, I wouldn't ever ditch them for a chance to hang out at...a COMPANY party. JMO.

    Bottom line: Right now, let her come to you. Allow her the space to decide if she even wants to spend time with you. Don't be shocked or hurt if she doesn't. Don't get too eager if she does. Be friendly and gentlemanly, but leave much for her imagination. This will make you seem intriguing to her, and your chances of cooking something up with her grow exponentially.

    Relax.

    ...OB
     
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