Help please

[KINDGIRL]

Hi, I am new here. I am so sure this has been asked before, and if there are good suggestions - just point me there. I can't seem to search for it successfully.
OK - I have a husband and his penis is average if not on the small side. I have been with other guys before, and they were similiar, maybe a bit larger than he is, but not real big.
We have an open marriage, and the issue I am having now is with my FWB (friend with benefits). He isn't overly long, but he is quite thick, at least for me. I have had one bladder infection since being with him, (we have been seeing each other for about 6 months), and the subsequent yeast infection brought on by the antibiotics used to cure it. It was the first bladder infection I have ever had. OUCH!
Now everytime we have sex, it hurts upon penetration. It is kind of a shart burning pain that slowly gets better as we continue. It doesn't hurt after at all, although sometimes I bleed after - not sure where the blood is coming from (vagina or urethra), just a small amount.
We have used condoms (latex and poly) and not used condoms (I am on other B.C.) used lube and not used lube (silicone and water based). Nothing seems to make a difference pain wise. I don't think i am tightening up, because the pain isn't like that (ie: having sex when I am not ready).
Recently I tried to have sex with my hubby and that hurt in the same way! What is this? What do I need to do about it?
FYI - this guy and I get together every other weekend and have sex from one to three, maybe four times. Frequency doesn't seem to make the pain better or worse.

I hope someone can give me some help... he feels badly and I am tired of hurting. Thanks!

 

[komodoman]

Welcome Kindgirl....my wife used to have a similar problem, but we found out that it was the condom that caused the infections. Sorry I can't be of help. Have you tried seeing a doctor?

 

[KINDGIRL]

I was hoping not to have to see a doctor again, i saw one for both the baldder and the yeast infection. GRRR

 

[56077]

You really should see your ob-gyn. Pain during intercourse, especially when none occurred before, is not normal and needs to be dealt with. Non-medical factors could include anxiety-if your last sexual experience resulted in discomfort, it's entirely possible that you're tensing up now even if you don't realize it. Whatever the case, you should be seen, and be sure to be forthcoming with your doctor about the fact that you are non-monogamous and whether or not you have used safer sex techniques. Pain during intercourse CAN (but is not always) a symptom of some sexually transmitted infections.

Good luck!

Ann, R.N., B.S.N.

 

[KINDGIRL]

Thanks, Ann - I am calling right now and will update! :wink:

 

[OBsessed]

Sorry to hear about your situation. :frown1: Those yeast infections, not to mention bladder problems are nasty.

Have you been tested for STD's? Or your new bloke (and your husband)? In any case, I'd really recommend that you go and see a doc. Where there is pain there's something that needs to be checked out.

 

[AlteredEgo]

Welcome home!:smile:

You already got most of the advice I was going to give. So, good luck!

I have one thing to add. If it turns out you have another infection, or the first one wasn't completely gone or something, and you end up on anti-biotics again, you can prevent the yeast infection from reccuring.

Take L. Acidophilus. You can get it in many pharmacies, but you can get higher dose pills in most health food stores, and at GNC. While you are on the anti-biotics, be sure to get at least 4 Billion (that's Billion with a B!) organisms a day. The pills I buy have 1.5 Billion organisms per pill, and I take three at a time. A few days after going off the anti-biotics, reduce your dose of the L. Acidophilus, but continue to get at least a few hundred million organisms a day in you. If you get a yeast infection anyway, break open the capsule, and put the bacteria directly inside. It's friendly bacteria, it won't hurt you. If you have a yeast infection and are miserably itchy, get some nice, cold, PLAIN UNSWEETENED yogurt and put it directly inside you. It has the same bacteria, which will actively cure the infection, and the cool, creamy yogurt will be a soothing balm. L. Acidophilus is also good for maintaining the health of your digestive tract. It will also make you get wetter when you are aroused. Read the label, and be sure to keep it refrigerated if it says it's required.

To prevent (and help treat) bladder infections and urinary tract infections, take cranberry pills. This is much cheaper and easier than drinking enough cranberry juice to get the same effect. Whereas you can skip the trip to the gyno for a yeast infection by self-treating with Acidophilus, you ABSOLUTELY MUST see a doctor if you suspect a bladder infection or UTI.

I've never had any UTI, so I can't help you with dosing there. I eat cranberries in a smoothie four times a week. I take 1.5B Acidophilus organisms a day. I haven't had a yeast infection since I figured this out over a year ago.

Again, see a doctor, and best of luck!

 

[KINDGIRL]

Thanks for that advice. I have cranberry caps, and I used to take probiotics, but I've been lazy...

Gosh I hope this issue can be fixed - dealt with - I like this FWB a lot and would hate to have to give him up...

 

[KINDGIRL]

Back from the doctor. I got tested for all the STDs and will know in 12 days for some and 3 weeks for others.
I explained the issue with the pain and size and all, and she said I do have a bruise right inside the opening of the vagina. No wonder it hurts. No real helpful advice besides lots of lube even if I think i don't need it.

 

[OmahaBeef]

I just hope you have a clean bill of health dear, but it will always "hurt a little" even when you get used to him. Such is the allure of guys like us.

In talking with women in the past and present, I am told no matter how long we're around each other or how often we do it...it's a substantial pain to begin with.

Good luck!

...OB

 

[KINDGIRL]

I think you are 100% right, OB! Lots of lube, thats the ticket! (I hope)

 

[B_starinvestor]

If you're husband doesn't know about this I'm sure there will be alot more pain in your future.

 

[KINDGIRL]

My husband knows and is fine with what I do.