Help! SexualitIES.....

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by zack800, Mar 24, 2010.

  1. zack800

    zack800 New Member

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    Hey fellas!

    Everyone who reads this... please write something :) anything would be greatly appreciated :)

    First and foremost, I'm not starting this thread hoping to label myself as I fully embrace the way I feel. I really need to share how I feel for both males and ladies and I need some advice here. 18 years of age this year and pretty sexually confused....

    I suppose many guys are going through this/ had gone through this phase and I hope you guys/ ladies will share your experiences with everyone and myself :)

    Forthose who have read my previous thread about my sexuality... this is my add-on to that.

    Ok basically... I find myself attracted to both guys and girls. I would say I'm more attracted (including sexual.. like just a wank with a buddy) to guys than ladies generally.
    HOWEVER.... when I do see girls whom I'm really attracted to... I get really excited too (I've confessed to a girl about my feelings before)... My heart starts beating fast and I feel warm etc... (You guys/ ladies have experienced these feelings too definitely).

    I'm not homophobic and can accept myself as a homosexual. However, I really want to be a provider like all men for their women. To be a boyfriend, husband and a father. I strongly admire all married men and I think I feel this way because I'm projecting a part that I inherently have in me on these married males. Basically these married men are like mirrors of who I yearn to be.

    I mean... do you teens/ older/ married males feel the need to bond with a guy? Share your feelings with him.. you know...like a buddy. mate kinda thing. Wanking is not necessary a part of this buddy buddy relationship but can be fun if both males are willing to have some fun together.

    So... what do you guys think. I really hope to hear what you straight guys/ladies have to say especially married individuals! I'm really confused about how things are now....Please advice :)

    Thank you all! God bless you and your families :)
    Zack.
     
    #1 zack800, Mar 24, 2010
    Last edited: Mar 24, 2010
  2. Joseph

    Verified Gold Member

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    Ahh sexuality... we are all different and being bisexual while it can be painful due to confusion, ends with joy heh.

    I was confused by this a lot, I mostly jack off to watching guys and most of my friends are homosexual guys. I was worried, scared I could be gay.

    As time went on i became more comfortable with the idea. I wasn't trying to deny how I felt, I was open to the idea... I tried to throw away my worries... not care about the gender of a person and be open...

    However it didn't change much. No matter which friend I thought, it was pretty forced and expect for a few, the thought of waking up next to them for the rest of my life seemed awkward. But even for the best of the best I didn't feel this flame. So I guess I am bisexual, but feeling love for a guy is something really hard for me. But friendship "that goes a bit further" is very okay with me.

    I don't think it's unusual for a man who's not 100% on the "straight shore" to wish to have a mate like that. I met a few men over 40 even that are married, but enjoy to have a chat with him how they'd enjoy spending time together.

    So, no I wouldn't say it's weird, and maybe your not as gay as you think, maybe?
     
  3. Silvertip

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    I have said many times in these LPSG threads that the biggest source of confusion over one's sexuality stems from the use of the damned standardized labels, and I still hold to that belief. But having spent the first half of my adult life totally heterosexual and married I can honestly say, Zack, that I wish I had the same understanding of my own sexuality at your age as you seem to have already accomplished. Sure, I can understand your confusion based on society's imposed norms, mores and standards but just be glad that you are aware as you are of your feelings. I would categorize your desire to be a husband and father while also seeking an intimate bonding with male friends to be quite normal and acceptable. The ideal is to get hooked up with a gal who is both what you're looking for in a soul mate and who is understanding of your need for an intimate level of male bonding (with or without the wanking fun) since you would be ill advised to have a serious relationship with a woman while hiding from her your true feelings for men.
     
  4. D_Harrison Board

    D_Harrison Board New Member

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    Take your time and think things out. I have had simaler feelings about my sexuality throughout my life. Although I am very atracted to men sexually, I have never had the deep heart feeling of falling in love with a man like I have when I fall in love with a woman and I don't see myself as ever doing so. I am not trying to lable you, but you simply sound like you are bisexual on the heterosexual side like many bisexuals. I agree with Josesph, maybe you are not as gay as you think.
     
  5. Sergeant_Torpedo

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    What you describe encapsulates what sexuality is about; it changes and to some extent is circumstantial. So enjoy the frisson, but handle it resposibly: treat people with respect and never allow predatory manipultors to use you. Have fun and enjoy your sexuality without labels.
     
  6. dreamer20

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    Don't fret over labels. You know who attracts you, and who does not. Chose trustworthy persons you can share your feelings with, befriend, love and possibly marry.
     
  7. baldyboy8000

    baldyboy8000 Member

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    relax, be careful of your expectations, take your time....you'll wake up one day and know
     
  8. bigbull29

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    You're got good advice so far.

    Do keep in mind that for some, sexuality is malleable. No, you can't make yourself be something you're not, but your sexuality can naturally change over time.

    Don't be ashamed of who are you sexually. Society still tries to make men with homosexual feelings feel ashamed and less than their "straighter" counterparts. But a lot of men who identify as straight have gay feelings, too, but that doesn't make them gay, either. It's all very complicated, and, frankly, not important. Just enjoy your sexuality as it is, and whatever you feel is fine. That's hard to say, but you can get to that point. Just remember that zillions of other dudes feel just like you.:smile:
     
  9. zack800

    zack800 New Member

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    Thanks sooo much guys! Really appreciate all your wise and helpful comments!

    Continue Posting People ! :)
     
  10. zack800

    zack800 New Member

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    Keep Writing :) Help!
     
  11. naturistMale

    naturistMale New Member

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    zach
    the classifications of sexuality are so blurred - a sexual orientation label means something different to every Guy i've talked to. i think you are more grounded about how you feel; what your expections are of yourself and what's out there for you to choose from than you realize. i'm 27 and want to be a good Man & a responsible citizen. my sex life is limited, but meaningful. actual sex has been with women, and one Guy, he and i docked.
    i don't count jackin with Buds while watching porn, as sex...i think it's just GuyFun and will continue to do it. also been to one sex-party. so that's not a lot of sex for my age.
    you're in Asia. i bet that has a lot to do with your views on all this..Asian Men are more reserved about sex than we are in the US, in my opinion....just my 2 cents
     
    #11 naturistMale, Mar 25, 2010
    Last edited: Mar 25, 2010
  12. LGX

    LGX Member

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    You feel the same way I do. There is nothing wrong with wanting to be a provider even if you are attracted to males. If that's a little bit higher on your list, then go for it.
     
  13. zack800

    zack800 New Member

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    Thanks guys :) Really glad to hear from you all :)
     
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