Help, Switching schools to make things easier?

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by Showerbag, Oct 26, 2009.

  1. Showerbag

    Showerbag Member

    Joined:
    Mar 4, 2008
    Messages:
    74
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    Hey guys, I have been here several times about many different subjects but this ones a bit less sexual then the other ones. I've been upgrading at college to go to university next year and i originally planned on going to a school 4 hours from my gf, before we started dating. we've been dating for about a year now, and I decided i wanna apply and go to her school instead to make it a lot easier on me and maybe her. Im gunna find her feelings of that by asking her opinion on it, since it offers the exact same program im wanting to go into and its not compromising my long term plans by any means. Im just worried that if she thinks its a bad idea or i get a meh reaction like it doesnt matter, if i should even persue the relationship if shes not looking ahead and seeing the possibilities of progression if i did go to the same school. I've been losing sleep over this and intend on asking her next weekend when i see her next. I just don't know how i should react or what it means if i do get a completely neutral to negative response, as it shows not much chances of progress later on. im just confused, thanks alot for help.
     
  2. sundevil12

    Verified Gold Member

    Joined:
    Jan 12, 2009
    Messages:
    41
    Albums:
    3
    Likes Received:
    6
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Arizona
    Verified:
    Photo
    So you may not like this at all, but here's how MOST of the people I know have done. I know somewhere around 20-30 people who have switched schools to be with their significant other, both gay and straight relationships. It's everything from giving up a full soccer scholarship at Maryland to go back home to the Texas town we were from to go to community college, all the way to simply applying to the same schools fresh out of high school. The problem that I notice is that there's a major difference in livin in the same town as someone you're dating to living in the same 1 square mile area as they do. Unfortunately, I've yet to see ANY of those 20-30 people work out, and in the end, the one who switches school ends up going somewhere that wasn't their direction for life and they immediately have to go through the entire application process again at another university. You only get one life, and for most people, one opportunity to go to college. You have to take the direction you want in your life, and not the direction that someone you're dating chooses to take. If the relationship is meant to be, it will last, though tbh they rarely do. When you enter college (and idk how old you are) you are suddenly thrust into a place where they have thousands of horny attractive people congregate and give them their own private space to "explore." I highly doubt you're going to listen to me, but you really shouldn't change schools for her.
     
  3. Showerbag

    Showerbag Member

    Joined:
    Mar 4, 2008
    Messages:
    74
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    I understand what you're saying, but we're still gunna live about 30 minutes apart and stuff, and not even gunna have close to the same time lines as we're in completely different faculties. I dont have scholarships to either, and i havent started a semester at either. its basically a fresh start, and in both schools they offer the exact same program, exact same amount of credits to complete it, coming out with the exact same credentials as the other. The only perk to the other school is, I have a lot more friends near the school that she is going to that i might go to as opposed to the original plan. Its just the fact i can do everything I originally wanted to do, alot cheaper, and alot less stressful for me because of my situation of being closer to my gf. I'm just asking that if for some strange reason she does say she doesnt want me to go there or i get a neutral response like being closer to me really means nothing of significance to her, is that in its self reason enough to call off the relationship? because her lack of seriousness, and committment? and im 23 btw:p getting a later start in life, and gf is 21 now
     
  4. denton85

    Verified Gold Member

    Joined:
    Aug 17, 2009
    Messages:
    235
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    19
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Long Island, NY
    Verified:
    Photo
    o_0 um ... Well ...ill just comment on a single part of this because otherwise I'd be commenting on the same old question of going to a school solely on a GF being there. If she doesn't seem to care then it seems like she was planning for the relationship to end soon after u were in maryland. This is a big decision. If u want to be closer to her and u are not even sure she wants to be with u long term, u need to have a serious convo with her to find out if she does want to be with u long term. Then make whatever other choise u want.
     
  5. Stephenmass

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Apr 24, 2008
    Messages:
    1,886
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    73
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Boston
    '

    This advice is "spot on". As my parents always said to me, if the relationship is meant to survive, it will survive thru the end of your schooling. I'd stay put if I were you. If it wasn't for her I don't think you would be changing schools, so don't! Finish what you started first where you are and if it stands the test of time, you can do whatever with her after you both graduate!
     
  6. sundevil12

    Verified Gold Member

    Joined:
    Jan 12, 2009
    Messages:
    41
    Albums:
    3
    Likes Received:
    6
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Arizona
    Verified:
    Photo
    Well man, if the distance is only 30 minutes, I don't think she's gonna jump for joy or be overrun with emotions, no offense. It's an entirely different situation than if you were to be thousands of miles away
     
Draft saved Draft deleted