foozballnow: my GF and i have been together for 3 years and have been having sex for two of those years. we have always had trouble in the bedroom and have since been trying to fix them. i have only had sex with one other person in my life and i was her first and only. i am begining to think we are not sexually compatible and though i love her deeply and would marry her, i think our differences are beginig to become a large enough factor to end things. i have tried many a time to get help and have had nothing. the first thing to keep in mind, i have a large penis. though i did read about how to deal with it on this site, nothing helps. i am about 8 x 6, give or take half an inch. the first problem we had was her getting cut. down by the base of the vagina, near the anus, she would tear upon entry or deep penetration. that has sense been mostly solved by a lot of lube and a lot of patience. now a problem we are having is frequency. i want it often and she rarely seems to want it. she doesnt even seem to get into it anymore when we are actually in the act. we are a young 20 year old couple, one would think our hormones would be through the roof. the other problem we are having is how we do it. she likes it slow and patient, while i enjoy that on occasion, i would like to do it hard and fast sometimes. we never have been able to. it hurts her too much. she feels discomfort often. we have tried lube, lots and lots and lots of foreplay, going slow to begin with then speeding up. NOTHING. ANOTHER problem is positions. we cant do it doggy because it hurts too much, there are several other positions that have the same effect. Please help me. I love her soo much and i know sex isnt everything in a realtionship, its just that i am so willing to compromise and nothing seems to be working, are we just doomed to be best friends and are simply sex incompatible, is that possible?
You love her and she loves you and that will help surmount any difficulty you are having in sexual expression to each other. I read of a guy and talked to him who was about 11.5 and 8 and couldn't consummate his marriage until long after the wedding date because of physical difficulties, but they loved each other and it eventually worked out. If she is very sexually attracted to you and you obviously to her then with patience you will achieve I believe a mutually satisfactory sexual relationship. I am sure others can offer all sorts of details about exactly where to place what and how carefully to move this and that and what erogenous zone to pay attention to while you are poking around here, but the main thing is the love. She seems to be very apprehensive since there have been injuries in the past so that may play a major role in reluctance to f**k like a mink. Just keep trying, but very slowly and meticulously. A few oral orgasms might get her more receptive and she might give you some oral action that will keep your satisfied until you can get the old fashioned intercourse problem worked out. Nothing you said sounds that impossible to cope with if you truly are committed to each other and once you solve this temporary difficulty I am sure you will be in exquisite rapture as often as you wish.
Alley Blue
Sexy Member
I never realized how many women can't accomodate a 8x6 penis.......interesting.
Anyways, has she tried going to a gynecologist? I used to work for one, and I remember quite a few women who came in not knowing they had a cyst/blister, and this was the reason for there discomfort. Not to mention that a gyno can also give advice about how to "work it out" so to speak.
We used to get the strangest calls where I used to work. Like this one lady who called complaining that she was having sex last night with her boyfriend and started hemorrhaging
. She was in her 50's and I remember her saying how embarresed she was ( I remember the nurse telling me that she was probably having rough sex, and when I got back on the phone with the lady the first thing she said was "I WAS NOT HAVING ROUGH SEX" as if she knew what we were thinking :lol: ) . The odd thing was, she said she did'nt feel anything, she just looked down and saw all this blood. I think I would have called 911 and then fainted......
I don't think you are doomed by any means. It will probably be a compromise between actual intercourse and other sexual activites. Try mutual masterbation, oral sex, solo masterbation while she watches.....yada yada.
I am sure some of the more experienced members around here can give you some good advice. I know BruceSter always has some good things to say. Maybe he can give some insight when he pokes his head in (that sounded bad).
If all else fails....rent videos. Love is something that is truly hard to find. If you found it, sex is something that will make its' way into the relationship. Best of luck...and I hope everything works out for you.
-LongNights-
I am sure some of the more experienced members around here can give you some good advice. I know BruceSter always has some good things to say. Maybe he can give some insight when he pokes his head in (that sounded bad).
If all else fails....rent videos. Love is something that is truly hard to find. If you found it, sex is something that will make its' way into the relationship. Best of luck...and I hope everything works out for you.
-LongNights-
I would love to say "Love conquers all", but the reality is that this can be a serious issue. Physical contact is very important in a relationship. There is some very good advice within the replies. Perhaps with experience and maybe childbirth, things would change for the better. But getting to that point is going to be tough. I wish you the best...
hI, glad you two are working on/have worked on the physical discomforts. I admire you two for working on solving problems for two years now. I think in that time you two have learned alot about each other in many ways, and that patience will help in many ways, if you two stay together.
YOu two are young, yet & libido & prefernecs & what turns one another on changes as you age & gain expereince. It sounds like your biggest problem now is the differences in libido. This can be affected by stresses she is under, choice of birth control, even if no birth control is used, schoolwork or eomplyment,etc. Mnay, many things go through or is on the mind of a woman during the day & many women tend to internalize problems, stress,etc. Not every woman is a drama queen.
I encourge you to find out what turns her on & for most women this starts at the beginning of the day. Most women like to be teased throughout the day in various ways. This can be with actual physical touch, i.e. tickling, hugging, etc. spending time doing something with her during the day, i.e. hiking, shopping,etc.; calling her during the day to let her know she's on her mind & tell her sweet or hot things, whatever tunrs her on; small thoughtful things doen for her or to her, i.e. washing her car, making her a simple breakfast, a rose sent to her at work, a note in her lunchbox, etc. you get the picture. For most women, being turned on starts in the mind, WOO Her, & don't back off from figuring her out. Most women like surprises, too & sometimes the most simplest inexpensive, but very thoughtful & well-planned things is waht really TURNS her on. It sure does me!
YOu two are young, yet & libido & prefernecs & what turns one another on changes as you age & gain expereince. It sounds like your biggest problem now is the differences in libido. This can be affected by stresses she is under, choice of birth control, even if no birth control is used, schoolwork or eomplyment,etc. Mnay, many things go through or is on the mind of a woman during the day & many women tend to internalize problems, stress,etc. Not every woman is a drama queen.
I encourge you to find out what turns her on & for most women this starts at the beginning of the day. Most women like to be teased throughout the day in various ways. This can be with actual physical touch, i.e. tickling, hugging, etc. spending time doing something with her during the day, i.e. hiking, shopping,etc.; calling her during the day to let her know she's on her mind & tell her sweet or hot things, whatever tunrs her on; small thoughtful things doen for her or to her, i.e. washing her car, making her a simple breakfast, a rose sent to her at work, a note in her lunchbox, etc. you get the picture. For most women, being turned on starts in the mind, WOO Her, & don't back off from figuring her out. Most women like surprises, too & sometimes the most simplest inexpensive, but very thoughtful & well-planned things is waht really TURNS her on. It sure does me!
For all you spelling & grammar police out there, please ignore my errors in previous post. I've had an extremely busy week & today is going to be the same. Wnated to post some kind of help to this young man asap.
Summertime,
Honey, you have nothing to apologize for in terms of your spelling. I create typos , have Hemingwayesque sentence structure, poorly developed parpagraphs and a whole slide show of sins which should send any English teacher screaming. It probably does, but I would not take kindly to unsolicited correction in an open forum. We all have things here that could use a bit of improvement. I think I would have a bit better attitude about it if it were done in a gracious manner . However, it tends not to be the case on most occassions. End of tirade.
Naughty
Honey, you have nothing to apologize for in terms of your spelling. I create typos , have Hemingwayesque sentence structure, poorly developed parpagraphs and a whole slide show of sins which should send any English teacher screaming. It probably does, but I would not take kindly to unsolicited correction in an open forum. We all have things here that could use a bit of improvement. I think I would have a bit better attitude about it if it were done in a gracious manner . However, it tends not to be the case on most occassions. End of tirade.
Naughty
1. We've probably all been there.
Everyone grows - as changes take place one still has to help.
Keep trying.
2. Possibly.
Sounds like you are covering all the bases from your side.
I suggest you both seek medical attention, together.
Ladies can have a LOT of different things happening with their bodies which can interfere with sex, not simply sex with a large fella.
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