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Help with college straight friend

alpha_centauri

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He is obviously gay or bisexual, but either in denial, closeted, or not yet ready to admit it or come out. There is not much you can do besides being his friend and if or when he decides to accept himself just talk to him or be there for him.

Find some other guy who is bisexual or gay and out to date, sleep with or do whatever with.
 

AceWilde

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I think most people in this thread have given you some good advice. But I'd also add that you should consider what you want from this friendship, and you should consider what that is if he's just straight and curious or if he's working his way to coming out, because it sounds like either could be the case. Are you going to be OK with going back to just being friends (or even more distanced) if it turns out you were just a fling to try something new? What would you want to happen if it turns out he is bi/gay? And I'd also keep in mind that when guys who have been living the straight life for a while do turn... Well the chances that he winds up in a relationship with you aren't great. Are you OK with how that might change the relationship?

And also keep in mind that he's been really rude and unkind to you recently so is it even worth figuring all of that out? We can't give you that answer, only you can. Just be careful and be safe.
 
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balanceofpower874

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There’s a

I know you’re based Stateside but I wonder if you can get the U.K. based streaming service ‘All 4’… Can probably do it with a VPN?

Anyway, there’s a great program on there called Cucumber. It shows a out 40 something gay man who lusts after his 40 something ‘straight’ work colleague. Long story short, late in the season he finally gets with him - and the guy is obv willing but all ends really sadly.

Its a very extreme example, but the point remains. Don’t chase someone that plays games with your emotions and doesn’t value your worth. Why should you?

Everyone has their own coming out journey but you don’t need to be this guys. It’s unfair on you and you’ll always be way more ahead emotionally than he will. There’s 7 Billion people on the planet. Find yourself someone who doesn’t play emotional games with you and values you as you are, without hesitation.

You’re better than this guy. Get out quickly before you get deeper and get really hurt. He’ll find himself eventually, and you’re meant to be - you’ll cross paths again. If not, he’ll just be part of your past… And that’s far better than the other all consuming option. I wish you the best man.
Totally agree with your evaluation and think this guy is too possessive of Dccbb. Your "All 4" reference is appropriate in this case, and Dccbb should feel solace in releasing his friend and his desire to be with him. HIs friends internal conflict will not allow him to be happy and share that happiness with others until he is personally fulfilled/realized as a bi/curious/gay man that he is. He cannot hold your heart hostage for his selfishness and fear. YOU BE YOU, you enjoy your life, find love, and be free.
 

sugd

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Look... get your nut if you want and dip. You don't owe anyone anthing ig they are dealing with internal shit. We all dealt with that shit in our youth already . If you don't want to deal with it again and just want to fuck the hot curious guy go for it but don't invest or convince yourself its more than it is it's probably going to be that guys one time thing or darkest secret.