Help with sex?

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by D_Richard Lugie, Oct 20, 2011.

  1. D_Richard Lugie

    D_Richard Lugie Account Disabled

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    Hello, So I was a virgin before I met my current gf, we have had sex as much as possible in the past two weeks, and its been pretty great.

    But like I said I was a virgin, so i'm not experienced with this at all.

    Before we had sex I had fingered her a lot, and I could always get her to the point where she would stop me after a while. Now when we have sex I finger her for a bit first, and just go at it, I can last for an ok amount of time, but not too long. I ask her after i'm done if shes good and she always says yes, but I'm not sure if im at the point of where she was stopping me when I was fingering her, she says she is though. Any help, advice thoughts?!

    Thanks a lot guys and girls!
     
  2. dave888dave888

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    Always, always, always . . . make sure your woman cums FIRST!
    That rule has "always" served me well. Take care of her first and then you won't have to ask "if she's good". And here is another hint; your tongue is your best friend and if you follow through everytime it will also soon be her best friend!
     
  3. Gecko4lif

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    Just be open and take it slow. Odds are you suck and she is just being nice about it so you should take some time to learn what she actually likes.

    Try eating her out
     
  4. D_rdtvhb

    D_rdtvhb New Member

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    I'm curious, is she stopping you because she came and is sensitive or is she stopping you because you just aren't doing it for her? A good physical orgasm on a woman, you will feel the walls of her vagina contracting. What you are describing to me just doesn't seem right. Are you giving her clit good attention? Just a lil side note, while you are having intercourse, encourage her to slip her hand down there, she can stimulate her clit while you are inside her and bring herself to happiness! many women are unable to orgasm through intercourse alone. I never leave myself out! Plus it's a huge turn on for lots of men seeing her take the initiative.....just my two cents, take one, both, or none.
     
  5. D_Richard Lugie

    D_Richard Lugie Account Disabled

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    I think i was doing pretty well fingering her, takes a bit of time, but I have her going every which way and breathing extemely heavy when she tells me to stop. She said that I am too good haha.

    I just think the actual sex I am lacking, although i think i'm semi-close to when I was fingering her. and she is kind of shy about some of this subject.
     
  6. dolfette

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    ^^do NOT listen to this man.
    when placed under this kind of pressure a lot of women fake. i would get irritated and end the session. this is NOT what all women want and need. it works for some of us but a lot of us fucking hate this one-size-fits-all pile of crap. some of us don't like oral either.
    find ot what your girl likes. none of us knows the answer, so all you can do is pick up ideas to try out.

    i don't like too much fingering. they feel pokier. they have knuckles and nails. the pressure in my vag is... well compare having your foot stepped on by flat shoes to being stepped on by stiletto heels. todger just feels more comfortable up there.
     
    #6 dolfette, Oct 20, 2011
    Last edited: Oct 20, 2011
  7. DavidXL

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    In my experience, women don't like get "fingered" so much as getting oral sex and they generally like oral sex alot (so give that a try if you haven't already). If she pushes you away, it's probably because it doesn't feel very good and you may be giving too much pressure (e.g., I remember rubbing clitorises kinda hard, with the same pressure as I would be rubbing my own penis during a dry wank - and I was told pretty clearly that it didn't feel good. At all.) Communicate with your partner and find out what she likes and what feels good to her.

    I don't feel particulalry qualified to disagree with Dolfette, but I actually do feel it is better to make sure your female partner's sexual needs are tended to before your own. Again, in my experience, women take longer to warm up than men do, and it is harder for them to have orgasms.

    Good luck to you as you embark on your sexually active life!
     
  8. D_Tam_Ponds

    D_Tam_Ponds Account Disabled

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    Women do not ALWAYS have to cum. That is a load of pressure on a young inexperienced girl. Personally, I never had an orgasm for maybe the first year or so (???) of having sex. And I was getting it every day - not bad - just inexperienced. Now I will pretty much always have orgasms as long as the guy can last longer than 20 seconds - no matter how good or bad he is in bed. Just be open and sensitive to her needs in bed - when she is relaxed and enjoying herself, it will happen. And don't forget to make sex more than just an in-out game. Kiss her, all over. Undress her, give her nipples lots of tongue action, discover what she likes and doesn't like. These things are key to becoming a great lover and orgasm giver!
     
  9. pengucat

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    always start by going down on her. Use your tongue on the clit and with your middle finger make a "come hither motion" until you feel a series of folds near the entrance of her vagina -- belly-side.

    If you useboth that spot on the upper-inside AND the clit and get her started before YOU get started she should come first and you WILL feel like a champ :)

    EDIT:

    OH, but go LIGHTLY. You aren't doing a "pushing in"motion with either tongue or finger. With your tongue make circles around it and then occasionally as a surprise cross the whole thing or reverse direction. It's like tickling -- moving in an unpredictible pattern is key.

    and on the inside with the finger, go along the outside edges of the "ridge" you'll find. I dont actually know what this part is called I just know from experience -- I admit i should probably look that shit up haha
     
    #9 pengucat, Oct 20, 2011
    Last edited: Oct 20, 2011
  10. dolfette

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    the post started off wrong.
    it didn't improve much from there.

    always?
    there is no fucking always!!
    i have known two women who detested receiving oral. it made them feel physically sick, despite being obsessively keen on giving oral.
    myself, i'm really not impressed by it. i like vibes and i like cocks. fingers and tongues aren't the right type of stimulations.
    so stop with the ALWAYS.
    enough with the ALWAYS.
    all women are different. we all like different things.
    take your ALWAYS and shove it where the sun don't shine!

    she WILL cum?
    what...is that a statement of fact? an order? 11th commandment??
    you, sir, are an idiot!
     
  11. pengucat

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    Relaje, chica.

    I was just giving advice from my own experiences.
    OBVIOUSLY every girl is different and quite obviously I haven't fucked em all. But rather than give ambiguous advice like
    "everybody is different like a snowflake, you'll find something she likes!"

    I decided to offer him something based off what I've experienced and the feedback I've received. So sorry to have ruined your day
     
  12. dolfette

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    advice is great.
    new things to try and all that jazz.
    CAPS LOCK stresses that you ALWAYS and she WILL are a different thing altogether. they are the unreasonable fictions that leave young women feeling like freaks and young men feeling like failures. they are the least helpful thing to offer.
     
  13. pengucat

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    Great. Changed it.
    Now maybe you should go get a drink or something cause you're pretty damned wound up and it isn't helpful to point out every male-post and say "don't listen to this guy!!"
     
  14. dolfette

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    suggesting alcohol is the solution here?
    tut tut tut! more terrible advice!

    pointing out falsehoods is very helpful in a thread like this.
    were he to take the bollox as gospel it would do him no good.
    i have not pointed to every male post. just the few that were crap.
    if it cheers you up and reduces your feelings of butthurt, you could get a woman to post crap for me to point out too.
     
  15. pcghabsy

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    All you need to do is communicate. Listen to your girlfriend. Be relaxed and have her relax too. Only she can provide you the feedback you need, not us. If she says she's good, most likely she is. Yes, some people hold things back in order to be polite, but only you can make that judgment about her. If you doubt her at all, or like you say, maybe she's just shy, make sure she is comfortable and let her know that all you want is honest feedback. I am sure she will open up, in case she wasn't before, if she's comfortable enough.
     
  16. dolfette

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    ^^the opposite of crap.

    that and paying attention to her less wordy responses.
    a moan, a whimper, a change in her breathing, tensing up, relaxing, a gush of fluid. if you learn to read reactions they will lead you to all the right places. an intake of breath can be worth a hundred words.
     
  17. monel

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    WOW! High praise indeed.
     
  18. D_Richard Lugie

    D_Richard Lugie Account Disabled

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    Yes, well we have a way of making sure the other is 100% fine or ok, and she always says she is. I will ask her for feedback though.

    The one thing I do wish was that we could do it with her on top, it's like there isnt enough movement, or the angle is wrong, and i just lose my boner.
     
  19. D_Richard Lugie

    D_Richard Lugie Account Disabled

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    I think I'm getting pretty good with reading her. She doesnt moan much, but I can always tell the effect im having on her by her breathing, if i change the speed or try different strokes.
     
  20. dolfette

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    then i suspect you're better set than some of the more experienced guys who will offer you advice.
    the best sex i ever had was with a virgin. he knew nothing about women but he read me like a book.
    keep trying new things.
    keep listening to her body.
    try different positions and different angles.
    you'll soon figure out what works best.
     
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