Help wrighting a ad in the personals

D_Bubbles_F_Hope

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Hi ladies I am thinking about putting a ad in the personals but not sure what to put in the ad can anyone help. I am aussie guy, 100kg very quite with a very caring nature. I am very hairy do I tell them that. I am 54. Check my profile do I look that bad. Here are some of the ads I have been putting down what do you think.

Come on ladies I need to fuck someone I need it so bad, I want a women who wants to be in control in the bedroom and fuck me like never before. Can host as long as your of legal age I don't care how old you are or how you look like, pregnant, skinny or chubby anyone I don't care I just need pussy, I will lick it, suck it, fuck it, shave it, I will even cum all over it. what ever you want me to do I will do it. Sorry no cash reward given. I prefer to host.
Hi ladies I know I may not be looking in the right place but you never know until you give it a try. I am genuine guy looking for a lady for regular no strings attach sex. I can count on two hands the number of times I made love to woman and that was with the same one, so I am not the type of that sleeps around if I do find a lady I hope we can meet on a regular basis. You can also say I am very inexperience in regards to sex. I like please a woman first with a lot of foreplay before making love to her that’s right love not just sex to me it’s more that, maybe I am showing my age now .Ladies if you want genuine guy who is honest, caring a guy who try’s his best to please a woman in bed than please contact me.
 

Mercurygirl

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Come on ladies I need to fuck someone I need it so bad,

Translation: Possible rapist.

I want a women who wants to be in control in the bedroom and fuck me like never before.

Translation: Inexperienced.

Can host as long as your of legal age I don't care how old you are or how you look like, pregnant, skinny or chubby anyone I don't care I just need pussy,

Translation: Desperate. God only knows who or what this guy has had his penis in.

I will lick it, suck it, fuck it, shave it, I will even cum all over it. what ever you want me to do I will do it. Sorry no cash reward given. I prefer to host.

Translation: Has had bad experiences with prostitutes. Possible STD.

I may not be looking in the right place but you never know until you give it a try.

Translation: Jeopardy category, 'Things a guy pretending to be a gynecologist might say'.

I can count on two hands the number of times I made love to woman and that was with the same one, so I am not the type of that sleeps around if I do find a lady I hope we can meet on a regular basis.

Translation: Possible teenager.

You can also say I am very inexperience in regards to sex.

Translation: Indisputable confirmation on lack of sexual experience and skills.

I like please a woman first with a lot of foreplay before making love to her that’s right love not just sex to me

Translation: A liar. Stated he just wanted, "regular no strings attach sex" what's all this nonsense about "love"? ... Possible stalker.

it’s more that, maybe I am showing my age now

Translation: Old

Ladies if you want genuine guy who is honest, caring a guy who try’s his best to please a woman in bed than please contact me

Translation: Lives with mother.
 

green882

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Yeah this is BS. He is 54 but can count on two hands the number of times he has made love to a woman?