HELP!! Zero Time Alone

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by sixhard, May 8, 2010.

  1. sixhard

    sixhard New Member

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    So here is the situation. I live in a fairly small home and have zero time alone. Anytime I am lucky enough to have an entire day off while the GF is at work I am at home with my son. I pretty much have no privacy and find it hard to slip away for any significant amount of time. I find it difficult to find anytime to jerk off. I am looking for suggestions and solutions from others with similar living conditions. P.S. My PC is smack dab in the middle of the living space as well and it is my most used masturbatory aide.
     
  2. catman

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    ah I remember those days...

    I used to go grocery shopping alone JUST to be able to jack off in the bathroom there...(I then got worried they would figure it out and started shopping at different ones til my wife asked why?

    I once had an hour alone, felt so good to jack off...promptly fell asleep with my hand in my underwear (no cum)
     
  3. captainwhackit

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    I never understood how men manage to live without a social life!

    I've always thought that it doesn't matter who you are or what relationship you have, you should always have an escape at least once a week.

    If I was in your position, I'd arrange for someone to look after my son for an evening. I'd grab some porn, some beers, and head right to a mates place.
    A good mate would understand and allow you use of his facilities! lol
     
  4. B_bi_mmf

    B_bi_mmf New Member

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    My kids are on their own now, so they are not a constraint for me. However, I still have very little private time. Some of my online friends think I am being coy or a prick teaser, but when I am not at work, my wife and I are almost always together. And I do love being with her! Would just also like a little time for jacking with guys online.

    #1 for you is to get a laptop that is not shared with others in the family and that you can carry around the house with you. For instance, I can be surfing to find porn for future reference while my wife is right across the room.

    Then just be sure to make maximal use of those few opportunities when they do come up.
     
  5. sixhard

    sixhard New Member

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    Unfortunately I have no friends that are that open
     
  6. sixhard

    sixhard New Member

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    I had a paper route once a few years ago which provided me with three hours of alone time late at night. I used to jerk off in the car or while walking the route. I moss those times.
     
  7. D_Wally Walnuts

    D_Wally Walnuts New Member

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    Get a video ipod, load it with porn and take it to the bathroom.
     
  8. sixhard

    sixhard New Member

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    Never happen, I don't even have privacy in there. G/F or son could pop in at any time. It would also raise suspicion from the G/F
     
  9. watchwatcher7

    watchwatcher7 Member

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    get an itouch or laptop, but there's always the shower
     
  10. D_Wally Walnuts

    D_Wally Walnuts New Member

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    She doesn't understand that men jerk off? Guess she doesn't have any brothers...
     
  11. sixhard

    sixhard New Member

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    She has a brother, and I am sure she knows I am just uncomfortable with it. Her brother jerks off, I work on his computer from time to time and he is in to some stuff. Rumor is hes huge. I am very jealous of him, hes 23 lives at home in a completely disconnected part of his parents house and surfs all the freaky porn that I used to years ago. And he has a huge cock
     
    #11 sixhard, May 8, 2010
    Last edited: May 8, 2010
  12. D_Wally Walnuts

    D_Wally Walnuts New Member

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    If I understand it right, you're uncomfortable jerking while other people are at home. I don't know what to tell you, in that case. Sounds like a Chris Rock joke from a couple of years ago:



    For instance, every man in this room
    is hiding some porno in his house.
    Every man in here
    got a pornography stash in the crib.

    That's right. Not an illegal amount,
    just enough to get you by.

    And when we hide porno, we go all out.
    lt ain't behind the refrigerator
    or under the bed.
    No, we become Batman
    when it's time to hide some porno.
    That's right, you hit the light switch,
    the whole bookshelf shifts to the side.
    You go down two flights of stairs
    into your porno cellar.
    Janet Jackme, Kobe Tai,
    Jenna Jameson, that's right.

    But women always find the porno.
    But they don't find it
    in the porno hiding place. Oh, no.
    Where do women find the porno at?
    ln the VCR.

    And fellas are like, ''Damn, how can l be
    so dumb to leave it in the VCR?''

    l'll tell you why.

    'Cause when you're jerking off,
    you ain't in your right state of mind.
    Your brain's all cloudy and foggy.
    l'll tell you exactly what happened.

    One day, your woman left early. You had the whole house to yourself.
    So you said,
    ''Let me get a little jerk before work.''
    So you in the house, getting your jerk on.
    Nice good jerk, too.
    You know,
    that ain't-nobody-in-the-house jerk.
    That's a good jerk. lt ain't like that
    somebody-in-the-next-room jerk.
    That's a bad jerk. That's like, ''Who's that?''

    l don't like that jerk.

    l'm talking about the good jerk,
    that nobody-ain't-home jerk.
    So you get the Vaseline ready...
    and you just look at your dick and go:

    ''Scream if you want to.
    No one's gonna hear.''
     
  13. D_Pubert Stabbingpain

    D_Pubert Stabbingpain Account Disabled

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    No lock on the door, eh?
    My sis was always pissed because dad built a door for my bedroom but not for hers! HA! :biggrin1: Still, when I started having several wet dreams each and every night, I started using the bathroom to JO every day. There is just something about shooting a long, hot load in the sink while you watch in the mirror! :biggrin1:
    It didn't stop the wet dreams and I still had to JO again after every wet dream but during the day it was the bathroom, until dad built the door! I guess the old son of a bitch wasn't as bad as I thought he was!
    :smile:
     
  14. 8060

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    :biggrin1:That's one of my favorite jokes from Chris.

    I don't live alone either and what I have to do is STEAL MY ALONE TIME. I wait until the day is over, and everyone else asleep. I find a quiet spot AWAY FROM THEM in the house because some balls knock when you get into a good jerk off session. Some endowments have been known to wake the dead so you don't wanna be close to them while they're dreaming. Two or three rooms away should be plenty of room. As for your visual aids, use your imagination. If you let yourself go to your imagination it will work the same wonders that the eye candy on your monitor does for you. Ejaculation and orgasms alike are just an extension of mental sexual self. Summons that mental sexual power within you and discover your new alone time.

    Now, if you're not into rubbing one off in the middle of the night, then just tell you wife (in the most loving tone that you can muster) that even though you love making love to her that your dick & "Palmella" (your hand) need to get reacquainted with a couple of options: She can watch without interrupting or not watch and not interrupt. She should really get that. Everyone in a relationship needs that ALONE TIME so you don't get sick of the other one...no matter how much you're in love.
     
  15. Bolt Upright

    Bolt Upright New Member

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    Lock the Door......surely your son does not need to come in when you take a crap !!!!!!!!:confused:
     
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